Page 59 of Unhinged Cravings
His eyes darted to mine, suddenly serious. Taking a deep breath, I said, “When my stepfather beat me, he would hit my stomach and pelvis. It was a place that guaranteed no one would see the bruises. It was a regular occurrence. The worst beating was the night he locked me in the basement for those endless days. I knew something was wrong. I was bleeding even though my period wasn’t due for two more weeks. The pain was likely a blessing because I blacked out for some of the time.” He brushed his fingers over my cheek, making a path down my arm. It wasn’t sexual, but more reassuring. Telling me it was okay to continue, to give him my burden to carry. That was the thing about Emerson Tides. He looked like the biggest bad boy, and he was, but there was a side to him that was sweet and caring. Maybe it was a part of him he didn’t let others see. One that was special for me or because of me. “There was so much scar tissue in my uterus they had to remove it. I can’t have children.”
“If I could dig his body up and kill him again, I would,” he said, his eyes darkening.
“Well, you can’t, and it was a long time ago. Therapy and meds, remember.” Although part of me was certain Emerson Tides had become another form of therapy.
“So,” he started, his brow quirking as he tilted his head, “all those condoms last night and I didn’t need them?”
Chuckling, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I always insist on protection, so yes, you needed them.” I had until today when my hormones had raged in rebellion and blinded me to the fact that there was no condom separating us. Goosebumps pebbled on my skin, and he rubbed his finger over them.
Those blue eyes, so calculating and perceptive, flitted to mine. Letting my fingers trace his jawline, I said, “What is this, Emerson?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I don’t know but I do know I will kill anyone who even looks at you, that I couldn’t get you off my mind all day, and that I plan to fuck you bare repeatedly tonight so I can feel you coming on my cock again.”
I gave him a questioning look. “Was that a pickup line? Because if it was, you’re no longer allowed to use that on anyone but me because it’s entirely too hot.”
He threw his head back and laughed before he pulled me in for a kiss. “Have you eaten dinner?”
A glance out the window told me it had gotten dark without me even knowing it.
“Nope. Although I raided your boring pantry earlier and had half a sandwich while talking to that poor guy you just scarred for life.”
His eyes scrunched. “My men are used to scars and he should have known better. Too many damn new guys.”
“To replace the ones who are being recruited?”
“Yeah.” He kissed my nose. “No more business talk. I’m making you dinner and you’re going to sit here and talk to me.”
A flush of warmth filled my chest, and I pulled him in for another kiss. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything, as long as I get to hear your voice.”
His words struck at the defenses I’d been fighting to maintain, sending them tumbling into the caverns of my being. It didn’t matter how we had started, who he was, what his past or my past held. I was free-falling with no possibility of stopping and, with every small thing Emerson Tides did, no desire to stop myself.
Chapter Nineteen
EMERSON
Ididn’t know what I was doing, but I was tired of battling with myself. Last night had been enough for me to reconsider the fight, but today had solidified the fact that I had no choice but to surrender to it. Ava had wheedled her way into my being with every smart comeback, every cute look, every free-spirited laugh and action. And I couldn’t remove her if I wanted to.
My mind had done nothing but wander to her, thinking of what we’d done and how amazing it had been. So that when I’d walked into the kitchen and seen her with another man, a possessive need had overtaken me. I knew then that I was lost. There was no going back. I would kill any man who so much as looked wrong at her without hesitation and if he dared to touch her, I would gut the son of a bitch and fuck her while he died a slow and painful death watching me take what belonged to me and not him. The thoughts were irrational, and I’d never had them with any woman, not even the one that had come between Greyson and me.
Now as she sat across from me, talking about how she’d lost a serving job because she’d poured coffee on some ass who had pinched her, taking bites of pasta between breaths, her feet tuckedunder her, hands animating her story, I realized the tension of the day and even the last year had eased. Like she was a salve that removed the strain in my life and filled it with something I hadn’t experienced in far too long: joy. There was a part of me who even thought he could give it all up to keep her smiles and her laughter, to hear her voice, and see the gold highlights in her eyes.
She stretched, her shirt lifting to reveal the piercing in her belly button, and I nearly salivated at the thought of licking my way up that lush skin. Dressed in a short plaid skirt and a shirt that had some logo I didn’t recognize on it, she tempted me to lift her back on the counter and take her again. I’d shredded her bra, which left her perfect tits too visible below her shirt. And that skirt…that skirt was dangerous. She hopped from the stool and my eyes followed her swishing hips, then trailed the path of her thick thighs. Wiping my hand down my face, I pushed away the thought of bending her over the sink and taking her again. That body was killing me.
“You look like you’re still hungry,” she said. My eyes flew from her legs to see her giving me a knowing smile.
Flashing her a coy grin, I replied, “I might need dessert soon.” She took my hand and dragged me from the kitchen. “I guess you do, too?” I asked, curious why we weren’t heading to my bedroom like I’d expected.
“I do, but I want to go outside for a little.” She turned to me, walking backward. “Can we make the night last just a little longer?”
“That’s what I was planning to do,” I answered. I grabbed for her, but she slipped out of my hold and ran toward the glass doors, her giggle trailing behind her.
Stopping in my tracks, I watched her open them, then look back at me. Moonlight shimmered in her hair, making the strands white, the pink ones almost crimson. My breath caught as I took her in, realization dawning that every small thing Ava did made her unique. She lived life with wide eyes and no expectations butthat she would enjoy it. She didn’t carry her past like baggage, didn’t let it bend her spine or tear her down. To her, life was a challenge, and she ran into the danger and possibilities without recoiling. Everything about her was so different from me, yet there were subtle similarities.
“What?” she asked, her chestnut eyes holding so much life.
In two strides, I threaded my hand through her hair and brought her lips to mine. Whatever was happening between us, I wouldn’t run from it. I would spread my arms wide and let it barrel through me. Change me, own me, devour me. Because if it meant this woman was mine, if it meant her smiles were for me, her laugh echoing in the chambers of my black heart, her touches washing the stains from my body, then I would give up everything else in my life to keep her.
