Page 53 of Only if You Catch Me
It felt like forever since I’d kissed those lips or felt his hands on me. It had been too long since he wrapped his arms around me and spoke into my ear. I missed it. I needed it. God, I craved it. “I’ve been okay. I guess I should apologize for that little melt down that I had.” I ran my palm up and down my thigh nervously.
Kastian glanced at my moving hand before looking back at me. “There’s no need to apologize. You felt how you felt, and your feelings will always be valid. I’m just sorry that you had to feel that way. I didn’t know liking someone could get this complicated. But I meant what I said about not wanting to lose you as a friend.”
I inhaled through my nose and looked off to the side. It was now or never.Just spit it out bitch!
“I don’t want to be your friend, Kastian.” Something flickered in his eyes, but I couldn’t read it. His face remained emotionless. “I want more than that if it’s still on the table,” I breathed out lowly. God, if he rejected me, I would feel so freakin’ stupid.
Kastian didn’t speak. And the more he stared at me, the faster my heart began to race.
“It’s cool,” I smiled. ‘I don”
“Lox is in jail, and Ryder is a snake. He’s a rat, and I can’t be for sure that he never mentioned my name. I left the game months ago, but that doesn’t matter if the Feds had already started to build a case. I might be going away, baby.” I saw the regret in his eyes, and it broke my heart.
My insides twisted, and all I wanted to do was cry, but I didn’t. Standing up, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Then, I want to be with you every day until you go away, and then, I’ll wait for you until you come back.” My heart was breaking. How could they take my man? I could cry and be a mess later. For the moment, I didn’t want to waste any time with him.
Kastian wrapped his arms around my waist and spoke in a low tone. “Baby, it’s the Feds. They give out football numbers. If I have multiple people saying I served them weight, I might get double digit numbers.”
I felt the sudden urge to vomit, but I remained cool and calm on the outside. “Then, I’ll be waiting. I’m serious. We’ve wasted enough time. Just let me have until then.”
I had barely finished talking before Kastian crushed his lips into mine. We kissed like long lost lovers reunited after years. The deeper he pushed his tongue into my mouth, the more my yoni began to ache.
“I missed you so fuckin’ much,” I spoke against his lips.
Kastian pulled back and licked his lips. “I’m sure I missed you more. Shit has been rough.”
He pressed his forehead against mine, and I could practically feel the heaviness that he was carrying. I placed my hand on the back of his head and pressed my cheek against the side of his face. We stayed in the embrace for the longest time until his door opened.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company.”
I turned around at the same time that Kastian stood up. A pretty woman wearing a black dress that accentuated her curvaceous body stood by the door looking like a deer caught in headlights.
“Whether I had company or not, are you supposed to come into my office without knocking?” Kastian didn’t yell. His tone wasn’t even rude. But, he was perturbed, and it showed.
“No, I don’t. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” The woman pivoted and walked out of the door.
Looking over my shoulder at Kastian, my brows hiked. “Is that your baby mama?”
“What?” he frowned. “Hell no.”
My eyes narrowed as my women’s intuition kicked in. “But you’ve had sex with her?”
Kastian ran one hand down his face and groaned. “Once bro. Just once and never again.”
All I could do was shake my head at him. Men. “So who is your baby mama?” I swallowed hard.
Grabbing my arm, Kastian pulled me into him. “There isn’t one. She had a blighted ovum. The embryo implanted but didn’t develop.”
“Oh no. I’m sorry,” and I genuinely was.
“It’s cool. I’m starting to think my sperm are the problem. Two different women, multiple failed pregnancies.”
“I doubt that. Maybe it’s just not the right time.”
“You’re right about that. As much as I want kids, that shit is on pause. I don’t want to be a telephone daddy raising a child from a jail cell.”
The reminder was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t even know Ryder like that but learning that he was a snitch was shocking. Whatever occurred, I was determined to get through it. The entire situation sucked, but what could we do about it? Trying to fight feelings and get over him wasn’t working. It actually felt like torture. If being with him until the Feds snatched him provided just a little relief, then I was down for it. I would worry about later, later.
“I want to go home,” I lightly gripped his chin and placed a kiss on his lips.
