Page 50 of Only if You Catch Me
“What’s good?” my brows furrowed.
“Ray Ray’s name wasn’t the only one on my paperwork.”
My mouth instantly went dry. “Fuck you talking about?”
“Ryder. That nigga caught a case with Ray Ray. He told you about Ray Ray, but he left the part out about him being arrested too. The Feds were watching Ray Ray, and he got some weed or something from Ray Ray. Once he was in possession of the weed, the Feds had probable cause to search Ryder’s car. He had a brick. Nigga was facing fifteen, and he agreed to set niggas up in Golden Waters and Raleigh. He’s been out of town setting niggas up. He has another six months to go before he has to turn himself in to do five years. He snitched just that much that he got all that time knocked off.”
I was speechless. He had just contacted me that morning and told me he had gotten Lox a lawyer. Why he even wasted his money knowing that he helped the Feds to build a case against Lox was the definition of insanity. Lox had to break the silence because I couldn’t get words to leave my mouth.
“I don’t want that nigga around my shorty or my seed.”
The way things were looking, I doubted I’d be around to keep Ryder away from them. I thought it would have hurt my heart had Lox snitched but knowing that Ryder actually did was like a betrayal I’d never experienced in my life. I dead ass felt like I had to throw up, and it wasn’t just fear of the Feds coming for me. He looked me in my face and asked me if I thought Lox was solid. Whole time, he was the snake.
“I don’t even know what to say, bro.”
“Yeah, me either. I could take it from Ray Ray, but Ryder is a hard pill to swallow. It is what it is though. Just keep that nigga away from my people.”
“I got you.”
I was grateful when the automated voice let us know we had sixty seconds left on the call. Talking about a damper on my mood. As if the Universe let Ryder know he’d been the topic of conversation, the minute I hung up with Lox, he called. I stared at the screen wondering if I was supposed to confront him, ignore him, pretend that I didn’t know? A part of me wanted him to look me in the eyes and know that I knew he was a rat ass nigga. Fifteen years I had known him and just like that, he was dead to me. Even if he hadn’t mentioned my name, I still didn’t rock with snitches. Niggas like Ryder and Ray Ray did the work for the Feds. Most of their convictions came from rats that didn’t know how to shut up.
Less than a minute after Ryder’s call went to voicemail, Tesha called. My disappointment was turning into agitation. I almost didn’t answer for her either, but I decided to pick up. At her housewarming when I told her what transpired between me and Persia that made her leave without saying goodbye, Tesha gave me a look like I was a royal fuck up. Maybe I was.
The last thing I ever expected was for the condom to break and for Doll to get pregnant. That night she was gone off E, she was like a wild ass animal in the bedroom and during our third round, the condom broke. Her pussy was so wet and it felt so good even with the condom on, that my drunk ass didn’t notice it broke until I pulled out of her and the semen was missing because the tip was split open. Doll bought a plan B pill and took that muhfucka on facetime, so I could see her. She still ended up with a positive pregnancy test.
I knew how Doll got down, so of course I was getting a paternity test done, but for the most part, I believed her. Dolland I had been dealing with one another for a minute, and one thing she’d never done with me was lie or play games. I didn’t think she was trying to trap me, and any man she dealt with had money, so there was no need to single me out if it wasn’t mine. A part of me did some sucka shit. I wanted Persia back in my life, but I didn’t want to start off lying. One of the reasons I let her know about the baby, however, was because I wanted to see if she was as tough as she acted.
If Persia showed no emotion after finding out about me getting another woman pregnant, I’d know for sure that she didn’t care for me in that way. I wasn’t prepared for her reaction. That shit almost ripped my heart out of my chest. I couldn’t stand to see any woman crying but seeing her cry, it did something to me. All I wanted to do was make it better for her, but how could I?
I didn’t get Doll pregnant on purpose. I never would have been having sex with Doll if Persia acted the way I needed her to. The entire situation was stressful. Add in the information I’d received about Ryder, and I didn’t know if I was coming or going.
“What up?” I asked Tesha.
“Kastian, you know I don’t come to you for dumb stuff. I’ve been trying really hard to ignore Ryder, but the man was reading my emails before I changed the password. He knows my address, and he just showed up here. I could smell the alcohol seeping through his pores, and he was acting like he was high off something more than weed. I wouldn’t let him in and kept threatening to call the police. Finally, he left, but I need you to try to talk some sense into your boy before I shoot him or get him arrested.”
“Do what you gotta do, Tee.” My voice was void of emotion.
She knew that wasn’t like me. After a moment of silence, she spoke. “What’s wrong?”
I wasn’t even sure I should tell her but why not? I wasn’t protecting his rat ass. “I just spoke to Lox. Ryder’s name is on his paperwork. He turned informant.”
Another pause. This one was longer than the last. Ryder was a lot of things, but no one that really knew him would ever imagine that he’d be a snitch.
“Is he sure?”
Her comment made me snort. “You can’t mistake something like that. By law, they had to give him a motion of discovery. It had all the evidence that they have on him. Including copies of written statements from people that made them.”
“Wow. I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe that’s why he was so drunk and high today. The guilt is probably eating him alive, but I can’t help him. I won’t bother you about him anymore, but if you hear about his ass being in the morgue, I probably did it.”
“You might be doing nigga’s a favor,” I mumbled. “How is Persia doing?”
I would understand if she chose not to tell me. I had known Tesha longer than Persia, but she was a loyal person, and I knew she really liked Persia.
“You think I’d tell you if my girl was heartbroken and acting all sad and depressed?”
“Probably not, but if you know me, you’d know that’s not how I’d want her anyway. I was trying to be honest, so there wouldn’t be any surprises later. It wasn’t done on purpose, and Persia and I weren’t even talking at the time.”
“I get it. Men only hear what they want to hear. All you kept hearing was that she didn’t want to be in a relationship. To my knowledge, she never told you she didn’t have feelings for you. You could have waited longer, Kastian. You’ve been waiting your entire life. What’s a little while longer? But not only did you act like a spoiled brat, you went and impregnated someone.You think Persia wants to deal with another woman having your child?”
