Page 49 of Only if You Catch Me
“We can talk right here. We don’t need to go to your car.” My tone was filled with conviction because I meant what I said. As much as I missed him and his dick, I wasn’t going to just sleep with him because he was being nice. Lord knows it was good, but I refused to be pressed for it.
Kastian released a sigh filled with frustration. “You told me what it was from day one. You did. I didn’t expect to fall for you and on top of that have the feelings not be mutual. That messed me up a little bit. I can be man enough to admit it.”
Just like that, my dumb ass was ready to fold. I still had a frown on my face, but the ice around my heart was melting. I could relate to the jealousy he felt when he found out I was still talking to Omar. Words of understanding and forgiveness were on the tip of my tongue when he spoke again.
“I don’t like not having you in my life. If the only way I can have you is as a friend for real without hope for something more, I’ll have to take that. And before you make your decision, it’s only fair to tell you that I have a baby on the way.”
I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if he punched me in the chest. He had been busy while we weren’t talking. My stomach caved in. I already knew the tears were going to come, so I tried to walk away. When Kastian grabbed me that time, I tried to jerk away from him.
“Get the fuck off me!” I hissed.
“Persia, stop running from me. We gotta talk like adults.”
“Like you did in Miami?” I shot at him. “Fuck outta here. Now you want to be mature. You have a baby on the way. Boy fuck you. Get off me.” I attempted to jerk away, but his grip on my wrist tightened.
“Persia please can you hear me out?”
“No the fuck I can’t! You got me fucked up. Just leave me alone.” I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
Angrily, I brushed away the salty liquid that had spilled over my eyelids. Kastian wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I broke down. I stood there sobbing uncontrollably while he held onto me with all his might.
“Let me go,” I sobbed. The cat was out of the bag. I had feelings for him too because the thought of a woman having his baby straight messed me up. I was too devastated to be embarrassed.
Struggling, I made the effort to get away from him, but he only squeezed tighter. “I’m so sorry, Persia,” he spoke into my ear. “Baby. I’m sorry. It wasn’t planned; the condom broke. I fell for you, P. I fell so hard for you, and you weren’t there to catch me. That shit did something to a nigga.”
“That’s not fair!” I struggled to get out of his grasp. “Let me go before I scream at the top of my lungs. Good luck to you and your baby mama. I hope your life is filled with blessings and abundance,” I replied wholeheartedly. I could never bring it upon myself to wish harm on another person or a child.
Kastian finally let me go. When he released the hold it had on me, it was like a hard smack to the face. I had begged him to let me go, but when he finally did, it felt like betrayal. I was drunk, and my emotions were all over the place. I just wanted to go home, but my keys were inside. Kastian just stood there staring at me, and I hated it. More than I hated how I felt about him, I would hate for Tesha and her friends and family to see me in the state that I was.
“Can you please get my key off the kitchen counter?” I croaked.
“Yeah.”
I watched Kastian walk toward the house with a terrible ache in my chest. My gut was churning, and I could only pray that I didn’t throw all the food that I’d scarfed down up. He could have kept that news to himself. I could have kept my ass homeand told Tesha I couldn’t make it. The one thing that I knew for certain was no matter how much I tried to challenge my mother’s advice, I could guarantee that if I was only focused on money with no feelings involved, I wouldn’t be outside crying like an idiot.
Kastian came back with my key. One thing I could admit was that his eyes were filled with regret. Maybe he didn’t mean to get someone pregnant, but he had. And I simply couldn’t take it.
CHAPTER 20
KASTIAN
The moment the call connected;I spoke into the phone. “How you doing boy?”
“Everything is everything. No need to worry,” Lox responded.
I could read between the lines. He was saying that I didn’t have to worry about him snitching. “I’m worried about you, nigga. How you holding up? What are they saying?” Lox had been locked up for a week, and it was my first time talking to him.
“Some bullshit,” he sighed. “They never caught me with shit, but there were two instances when Ray Ray wore a wire while copping some work for me. They have it on tape. I’m cooked. The bitch that tried to get me to fold told me I could get up to ten years. My lawyer is going to try to get a plea for six years.”
“Fuck.” Six years was better than ten, but I didn’t want him to have to do that.
Not only would he miss his child being born, he or she would be in school by the time he was released.
“Yeah, fuck. I left my shorty straight. Not six years’ worth of straight and damn sure not ten.”
“I got her, and I got the baby, G. You don’t even have to worry about that. I already gave her the money to cover her rent for six months. I also told her I got the baby covered. Crib, car seat, clothes, shoes, all that.”
“I have to tell you something.”
