Page 3 of Only if You Catch Me
“You need more than six months,” I cut her off. “Even after you heal physically, I don’t think you should try again until you heal mentally. And you can’t put a time frame on that. I don’t think taking back-to-back losses is good for you.”
“You’ll wait?” she asked with hope lacing her tone. The panic in her orbs made me run one hand over my waves.
She was going through enough. I didn’t have the desire to hurt her further, but she was going to be hurt regardless. “We can talk about it later. I think you should get some rest.”
Maybe it was that women’s intuition, but Toya knew what it was.
“Kastian, don’t give up on me,” she begged. “I can have a baby. I can do this.”
“Toya,” I shook my head lightly. “I think you shouldn’t be so focused on a baby right now. You have time. Time to figure out what’s wrong. Time to get it right with the right person. You knew from day one what I wanted. It might be odd to some, but I want kids, and I’m selective about who has them. I want to be intentional about the family I create, and it has nothing to do with some fairytale shit. You checked all the boxes, and I decided to go with you. It was never about love or feelings. You have my child, and I take care of you. We both stood to gain something.”
Toya’s face crumpled. “I can’t have a baby, so you just throw me out like I don’t mean anything?”
“If that’s how you choose to look at it. I told you we could talk about this later, but you wanted to press the issue. I actually care about your mental and physical health. You shouldn’t be focused on having a baby if it means you keep having miscarriages that leave you depressed for months on end.”
Toya sucked her teeth and chuckled. “Fine. You can see yourself out.”
I was sure that her father was going to be pissed, but I didn’t owe them anything. I could deal with whoever I wanted to deal with, and it didn’t have to be Toya. Silly me I assumed that since the expectations were set on the table and explained from day one, there wouldn’t be any room for misunderstandings, but I was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t just about having my child and being taken care of. It was possible that Toya had fallen for me. But the feelings weren’t mutual, so what was I supposed to do? You can’t agree to play the game then get mad at the rules.
If Toya wanted me to leave that was what I’d do. I stood and looked over at her. “If you need anything let me know.”
She refused to look at me or acknowledge my statement, so I left the room. Toya’s mother was nowhere around, but herfather was standing with his back against the wall worry lines prominent in his forehead. The moment he saw me he pushed off the wall.
“Kastian,” rushing toward me the desperation in his tone matched the quickness of his movements. “I hope this doesn’t change anything. I’m sure you and Toya will have a child when the time is right.”
“Nah,” I refused to sugar coat the situation. “I’m not interested in trying anymore. I don’t think so many losses are good for her mental health. She needs to take some real time to get herself right.”
Her father’s jaw slacked, and his eyes widened from my words. “Kastian, losses are common in pregnancy. A few miscarriages doesn’t mean she’ll never have a child. Look at how much time you already have invested with her. Don’t throw that away.”
I chortled. “You nor your daughter have the good sense to be sad about the child that was lost. You’re more worried about me and if I’ll still want to try to have kids with her. We all know that I’m not having kids in the traditional way but got damn, you’re more desperate than your daughter. I’m not sure what kind of meal ticket you’re looking for, but you’re going to have to try and pawn your daughter off to someone else.”
Walking off, I left him standing there. I was sure he didn’t like the decision that I made, but he didn’t have a choice but to get over it.
Two nights later, I was meeting my homies Ryder and Lox at the strip club. It had been a long ass week, and I needed to relieve some stress. Chilling with my niggas while surroundedby beautiful women and listening to good music was a great way to unwind. The next day, I planned to go out on my yacht and spend a few hours on the water. Alone. Just me, the driver of the yacht, and the sounds of nature. Whether it was my legal business ventures or illegal dealings, I worked hard and took way less vacations than I should have. On average, I only got a few days a month that I took just for myself. Days where I actually turned my phones off and shut out the world. No work, no stressing, no brainstorming. Just me, myself, and I.
I had money, power, and respect. For years I chased those three things. As the money piled high, I found myself craving peace. Did I want to be broke? Fuck no. But I was finally beginning to realize that there were things that money couldn’t buy. Guess we all had to grow up one day.
Ryder instructed the cocktail waitress to bring two bottles of tequila. I had a stack of ones in front of me as did Ryder and Lox. I’d never understand men that went to the strip club and didn’t throw money. I was far from a trick, but I knew how the game went. Strippers danced for money. Niggas coming in the club ogling, attempting to touch, and damn near harassing the dancers but not spending any money was lame as hell to me.
Lox was busy recruiting women to come into our section. So far, he’d chosen three of them and was talking to a fourth. Ryder bobbed his head to the Drake song blasting through the club speakers as he rolled a blunt. A tall, curvaceous, dancer that went by the stage name Doll sauntered over to me. I’d had sex with Doll a few times in the past, and the pussy was good. Doll had a roster that consisted of rappers and athletes. She was cool as hell. She never stalked a nigga, got on that nagging shit, or tried to finesse a bunch of money out of me. Shorty never requested bags or trips. I tipped her generously when I came into the club. To show her appreciation, she didn’t cock block,or try to stake her claim when it came to the other dancers or female patrons, so she’d always be good in my book.
“Hi Kastian,” she smiled. Her tone was seductive, and the orange thong she wore did little to cover her fat mound.
“What’s good, Sexy?” I took the blunt that Ryder passed me.
“Just in here trying to make some shit shake. I’m glad you came in, so I could see you before I head to Houston for a few months.”
“When you leaving?” my eyes narrowed as I pulled from the blunt. Doll was topless, so her perky C cups had my manhood stiffening.
“In two weeks.”
“Oh yeah?” I expelled weed smoke from my lungs. “Holla at me before you leave tonight.” I wanted to hit that again before she left.
A sly grin eased across Doll’s face. “I definitely will.”
I hit the blunt two more times before passing it to Lox. The women in our section began dancing, and I picked up a stack of money and removed the rubber band. The cocktail waitress came with the requested bottles and after a few sips of alcohol, my mood had shifted. The tension that had accumulated from the weeks’ events slowly began to leave my body. I had thrown a good hundred dollars in ones when I spotted her. Fine ass Persia. I had no clue why I had seen shorty three times in such a short period of time, but I was starting to wonder why the Universe kept dangling her sexy ass in front of me if she was married. A nigga was trying to be respectful of her union, but if she kept popping up, all bets were off.
I peeped the person she was with and the wedding band on his finger and chuckled inwardly. Fine ass Persia was married to David? I expected more. She was bad enough to bag something better. I copped guns from David. Had been doing business with him for a few years. He had a little bread, and he was aight to dobusiness with, but he damn sure wasn’t who I expected Persia to be married to. If I was a different kind of man, I’d make it my mission to take her ass, but it wasn’t that serious. I knew I was bugging when I found myself wondering why she was with that nigga. Yeah, he had a little paper, but he wasn’t rich. I doubted she was physically attracted to him. It had to be money.
