Page 20 of Only if You Catch Me
My blood was boiling. Every time I thought of the fiasco with David and Kastian I became angry. At least I knew when I was with Kastian I was safe. He was a protector. The closer I got to my destination the more my anger dissipated, and the nervousness came back. I had lost count of how many times I’d run into Kastian. This time was planned, and I was sweating bullets. I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me. But I couldn’t trust myself not to become insanely aroused by him. Twelve hours was a long time to endure temptation. Releasing a groan, I found a park. I was just about to text Kastian and tell him I had arrived when I noticed a figure nearing my car through my peripheral. I turned my head, and Kastian was trekking toward me dressed in black basketball shorts and a black shirt. He was just as fine dressed down as he was in a suit. Damn.
Kastian opened the door for me, and I managed a small smile. “Thank you.”
“No problem. You good?” he looked me over. My nipples hardened as his eyes poured over every inch of my frame.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good.”
I followed Kastian to a large white yacht and the closer we got to the massive boat, my jaw slacked. From where I was, I could see a spiraling staircase. The yacht had three levels. “This is your boat?” I attempted to clarify.
“Yes. I love the water. I love being by myself on the water. I come out here at least three times a month just to get peace. I can chill on this muhfucka for two- or three-days phone on DND.”
“I bet that’s nice.” Kastian stepped onto the yacht then grabbed my hand to help me.
“Anytime you want to come out just let me know. I’ll make it happen.”
I stared at the ocean as I swallowed hard. For the millionth time I had to wonder what the hell I was doing. My separation was super fresh. I was still hurt and feeling betrayed. If Kastian had never been in love before, I doubted he would start with me. Meaning, all he probably wanted was sex. If he did, was that so bad? After being in a relationship for years, I was looking forward to being single.
Some women acted like being single was the worst thing in the world. Maybe it was if she was single for too long, but I was looking forward to the peace. Living alone would be different for me, but I was ready to experience it. I didn’t want to have to consider anyone’s feelings or consult with anyone before I went out of town or went out with my girls. Relationships could be beautiful. They could also be a pain in the ass.
“What you thinking about over there?” Kastian’s voice cut into my thoughts.
“Everything,” I sighed.
“Come think about everything over here.” He led me toward two lounge chairs. “You want something to drink? I have a fully stocked bar, water, fruit punch, lemonade, Sprite, and Pepsi.”
“I’ll take a bottle of water.”
“Coming right up.”
I made myself comfortable on the lounge chair and imagined what it would be like to be able to utilize the yacht whenever I wanted to. That would only be possible if I remained in Kastian’s life. Thinking was giving me a headache. I had no idea what Kastian had planned, but I didn’t want to think. I’d been overthinking for weeks. He came back and passed me a bottle of water.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Kastian pulled a blunt from behind his ear and a lighter from his pocket. I never wanted David to remain in the streets. I liked that he was a provider, but he could have been a provider with a legal job. I spent the money he made from selling guns, but I knew he had so much more potential. Kastian more than likely was able to buy a yacht because he sold drugs but who knew, maybe if he only did real estate, he would have been able to afford a yacht still. I wasn’t trying to pocket watch. It just had to feel good to be able to do what you wanted when you wanted. For me, peace was sitting on the beach. For Kastian, it was sailing on a yacht. That was dope.
I didn’t smoke, but I loved the smell of weed. Kastian smoked, and I attempted to get a contact high. We were silent for at least fifteen minutes, but it was the most comfortable silence I’d ever been in.
“Tell me something about yourself,” he finally spoke his voice strained from the weed smoke he was holding captive in his lungs.
“I’m a real estate agent.”
Kastian laughed. “You’re a smart ass. Noted.”
I turned to face him, and that was a mistake. The fact that it was even possible for him to look better was insane but with low eyes that man was downright scrumptious. My clit swelled, and I chastised myself for playing with fire the way that I was.
“There’s not a lot to tell really. I have one sister. She’s three years younger than me. My parents are divorced. My father left her for a white woman. Now, she’s lonely and bitter, and she tries to drill it into me and my sister’s heads to never trust men, and that they’re only good for providing.”
Kastian laughed. “Damn. Straight like that, huh?”
“Straight like that,” I sighed.
“Did you take her advice? Or did you ignore her and fall in love with David?”
“I don’t feel right talking about my marriage with you. Maybe you didn’t force David to make the choice he did, but you started the domino effect of my marriage failing.”
