Page 16 of Only if You Catch Me
I could scratch marriage off my bucket list. I had done it once, and that was enough for me. I’d never do that shit again. It wasn’t even about being bitter. I just didn’t have the desire to potentially be disappointed again. I wasn’t even thirty yet, so I wouldn’t count men out all together, but I didn’t have plans to be serious with anyone for a very long time. Having a man play in my face once was enough for me. I was good on that shit.
CHAPTER 8
KASTIAN
Xena atethe last of her Caesar salad and sipped her wine. “So, it’s bypass marriage and just get straight to the baby, huh?”
Xena was an orthodontist. I’d known her for about six months. We’d never had sex, and it was actually her that asked me out on a date. I accepted, but I wasn’t going to let her pay for the date. “You asked me what I’m looking for, and that’s it. I can be honest. I’m at the age where I want kids. I want a legacy. I don’t necessarily want the wife. Don’t get me wrong, if it happens organically, that’s what it is, but I haven’t found it yet. I don’t want to be having kids at fifty because I never found Ms. Right.”
“Dating is challenging, so I can’t even look at what you’re saying as too crazy. I want kids too, but I always had these fairytale dreams of being swept off my feet, a big wedding, and then kids that were planned and created out of love.”
“And you can look for that. I’m not asking any woman to give up her dreams, standards, or whatever to give me what I want. I just think somewhere out here there’s a woman that wants a kid and would be willing to co-parent. No strings attached.”
“I know what I want, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Dating these days is extremely hard and frustrating. So,when you find a woman to have your baby, that’s what it will be? Just have sex to get her pregnant then what? Become co-parents?”
I chuckled. “I have to vibe with her whoever she is. I have to think she’d be a good mother. The smart kind that will have my kid on a routine and feed him or her healthy food. I want to be cool with her. Friends. And if we just so happen to be friends that have sex that’s what it will be.”
“Good luck with that,” she giggled. “Something tells me a woman that is raising your child, watching you be a good father, and getting that good D will have hopes of way more than just co-parenting.”
It was my turn to laugh. “How do you know the D is good?”
“Let’s just say, that I can usually tell when a man possesses the qualities to make sex unforgettable. It’s not all about size. You seem like the type that knows how to please.”
“Damn, is that right?” I sipped my cognac.
“I’d be willing to put money on it.”
Xena had light skin, high cheekbones, a sharp nose, and she was rocking a super short pixie cut. The hairstyle made her look classy and mature. Shorty was thirty-one, owned her home, drove a Maserati, and didn’t have any kids. She had been engaged a few years back and two months before the wedding, she found out her fiancé was gay. That news earned her a short stay in the psych ward. According to her, it took a few years of healing, but she was finally open to love again.
I was always honest because that was the kind of man that I was. But when a woman had high hopes, I refused to let her think it would be anything other than what it was. Of course, there was always a chance that I could fall for a woman. And if that happened, I’d deal with it. But until then, I laid everything out on the table, and it was up to the woman to decide if she was with it or not.
“Do you have sex with multiple women to see who will get pregnant first? Are you going to date around then choose a woman to impregnate. How does it work?”
Laughing, I finished my drink. “I love my dick and my health. Fucking multiple women to see who will get pregnant first is crazy work, shawty. I don’t stick shit in a female raw until we’ve both been tested. I get to know women like everyone else does. We date. If I take a liking to her and feel like I could tolerate her for the next eighteen years, I’d just ask her to have my baby. She’s not obligated to, and we can even keep dating. But my search will continue.”
Xena bobbed her head. “So, there is a chance it could happen the natural way? While dating, you might fall for someone and want to be with her. And then, she could have your baby.”
I hit her with a passive shrug. “It’s not impossible. It’s not a guarantee either.”
Everybody wanted to be that one. The one to make me fall and start doing shit and feeling things that I’d never done or felt before. Again, I’d never say it was impossible, but I wasn’t holding my breath waiting for it to happen.
“How long have you been single?”
“Forever. I’ve never been in a relationship.”
Xena’s jaw slacked. “Never? Like not even in high school?”
“Never.”
“Oh wow. You really are a tough one to crack.”
“That’s what I’ve been told.”
“Here I was thinking you must have had a bad experience. Like maybe someone broke your heart, and you haven’t healed. You just won’t give a woman a chance.”
“I think you misinterpreted what I said. I’ve dated plenty. I’ve also had plenty of sex. I never developed feelings for a woman and ran from it. I never refused to fall. I simply haven’t. And I’ve met some dope women over the years. Maybe evendeeply liked a few. But liked them enough to be with just them or to marry them? Nah. Just hasn’t happened, and I’m not forcing shit.”
“You just haven’t met the right woman.”
