Page 33 of My Bodyguard Neighbor
Jonah moved to sit beside her on the bed."Is that what you think this is?"
"I don't know.I've never felt like this about anyone.But I also know that extreme circumstances can make people feel things that aren't real."
"You think what we have isn't real?"
Holly turned to face him."I think I love you.I think you love me.But I also think we need to figure out if that love can survive boring Tuesday afternoons and grocery shopping and all the mundane stuff that makes up actual life."
Jonah understood what she was saying.He'd seen it before.Combat marriages that fell apart the moment soldiers came home.Relationships built on adrenaline that couldn't survive peace.
"So what do you want to do?"he asked.
"I want to take it slow.When this is over, I want to go back to my apartment.Paint.Figure out who I am when I'm not running for my life.And I want you to figure out who you are too.Not as my bodyguard.Not as my father's employee.Just you."
"And then?"
"And then we see if we still want this.If we still want each other when the stakes aren't life and death."
It was rational.Smart.Exactly what they should do.
Jonah hated it.
But he also knew she was right.They'd gone from strangers to lovers in less than two weeks, with Russian mobsters and death threats and his lies as the backdrop.They needed to know if this was real or just two people clinging to each other in a storm.
"Okay," he said."We take it slow."
Holly softened with relief."Really?"
"Really.But Holly?I already know how I'm going to feel a month from now.Six months from now.A year from now."He cupped her face in his hands."This isn't trauma bonding for me."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because I’ve been through trauma before."Jonah's thumb traced her cheekbone."Because I'd rather have you hate me than lose you.Because I spent twelve years not feeling much of anything, and then I saw you covered in paint and suddenly I couldn't stop feeling."
Holly's eyes filled with tears."That's not fair."
"What's not fair?"
"Saying things like that when I'm trying to be rational."
Jonah smiled."Sorry."
Holly kissed him.Soft and sweet and achingly tender.
They spent the rest of the afternoon talking.About what came next.About what they wanted from life.Jonah talked about maybe starting his own consulting firm, teaching defensive tactics to corporate security teams.
Holly talked about her art.About wanting to have a show someday.About reclaiming the part of herself she'd lost in the years of hiding from her father.
They were tentative conversations.Careful.Like two people learning to trust again.
Evening came.Blake texted updates.Courthouse security was in place.FBI tactical team was positioned.Everything was ready for tomorrow.
Jonah ordered pizza.They ate in bed, watching terrible reality TV on the motel's ancient television.Holly laughed at something ridiculous on screen, and Jonah memorized the sound.He wanted to hear that laugh for the rest of his life.
