Page 20 of My Bodyguard Neighbor
He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers."I need to keep you safe."
"I'm sorry I'm making this difficult for you."It was her turn now."Do you want to know why I'd rather take my chances with Russian mobsters than go back to my father's house?"She didn't wait for him to answer."Because living with him was like being slowly suffocated in a velvet cage."
Jonah was quiet, listening with the same focus he brought to everything else.
"It started small," Holly continued."He wanted to know where I was going, who I was seeing.Said it was for my safety, that being a federal judge's daughter came with risks.I believed him at first.I thought it was normal for a father to be protective."
"But it wasn't just protection."
"No.He monitored my bank accounts, had me followed by security I didn't know about.When I was twenty-two, I got accepted to an art residency in Barcelona.Three weeks before I was supposed to leave, the program mysteriously lost their funding.I found out later that my father had made some calls."
Jonah scowled."He sabotaged it."
"He said I couldn't be properly protected overseas.That I was being selfish and immature."She pushed down her hurt and anger."So I stayed.Got a job at a gallery instead.Met someone, started dating.For a while, I thought maybe things would be different."
"What happened?"
"His name was Ethan.He was funny and kind and made me feel like maybe I could have a normal life."Holly's voice hardened."Turns out my father had him investigated.Found out Ethan had an outstanding warrant for something stupid—unpaid parking tickets that had escalated.My father had him arrested."
"Jesus."
"When I confronted my father about it, he said he was protecting me from someone with 'criminal tendencies.'"Holly laughed bitterly."The man spends his days judging criminals, but couldn't see that what he was doing was worse.At least the people in his courtroom knew they were being judged."
Jonah reached for her hand, and Holly let him take it, drawing comfort from the contact.
"The final straw was my apartment—the one before this one.I thought I was finally independent.I'd been living there for a few months when I found cameras hidden in the smoke detectors."Holly scowled."He'd been watching me.In my own home.Watching everything."
Jonah's hand tightened on hers."That's when you cut contact."
"That's when I ran."Holly met his gaze."I emptied my bank account, sold everything I couldn't carry, and disappeared.Changed my number, moved across the city.Spent three years building a life that was actually mine."
"But you were never really free of him."
"No.Because he's my father, and some part of me still loves him even though I hate what he did.And because men like him don't accept defeat.They just wait for an opportunity to prove they were right all along.You being here is proof that he’s still up to his old tricks. Six months."She shook her head.“You must have thought I was an airhead. I never even noticed you were spying on me.”
“You weren’t supposed to see me.I understand why you don’t want to live with him again.But what I did—watching your building, filing reports—that's not the same as what your father did to you.I watched from outside.I never violated your privacy in your own home.I never sabotaged your career or your relationships.I never tried to control your choices."Jonah spoke earnestly."I filed professional surveillance reports from a distance until I broke protocol because I wanted to know you—not control you.There's a difference."
Holly opened her mouth to argue, then stopped.He was right.What her father had done was a complete violation of her autonomy.What Jonah had done was...his job.A job he'd then abandoned because he was attracted to her.
"You still lied about who you were," she said, but her voice had lost its edge.
"I did.And I'm sorry for that."Jonah turned to face her fully."But I need you to separate those things in your mind.I'm not your father.I'm not trying to trap you or control you or make you dependent on me."
"Then what are you trying to do?"
"Keep you alive."Jonah's voice softened."And maybe, if you'll let me, love you the way you deserve to be loved.Without conditions.Without cages."
"I don't know if I can trust that."Holly's voice cracked."Every man who's claimed to love me has used it as an excuse to control me."
"I know."Jonah held her hand again."I know what it's like to have no control over your own life.The military owned me for twelve years.Every decision, every action, every thought had to serve the mission.I wasn't a person.I was a weapon they pointed at their enemies."
Holly heard the pain in his voice and wanted to do anything she could to soothe it away.
"When I got out, I didn't know how to be anything else," Jonah continued."Your father offered me a job that let me use my skills, and I took it because it was familiar.Because following orders was easier than figuring out who I was without them."
"And then you met me."
"And then I met you, and for the first time in years, I wanted something for myself."Jonah's gaze was steady."Not because someone ordered me to want it, not because it served a mission.I wanted you because you're brave and beautiful and completely yourself in a way I've never been."
