Page 31 of Awakening the Wild
"Because you didn't give me a chance!" The words burst out of me, raw and angry. "You gave me an ultimatum instead of trusting me. You made it about you being abandoned instead of about us figuring this out together."
He flinched but didn't respond.
"You want to know what I was thinking in those thirty seconds?" I stepped closer, forcing him to look at me. "I was thinking about how much I love that cottage because I built it. I put every nail in place, sanded every board, proved to myself that I could create something lasting. It's not about the property—it's about what it represents."
"And what does it represent, Tonya?"
"That I survived him." The admission tore from my throat. "That I'm not the broken, helpless woman he said I was. That I can build something beautiful even after he tried to destroy me."
Kevin's jaw clenched but he stayed silent.
"But you know what matters more than that cottage?" I closed the remaining distance between us, tilting my head back to meet his eyes. "You do. Us. This life we're building. I was trying to find a way to keep both, but if I have to choose, I choose you. Every single time."
"You didn't say that when it mattered."
"Because I was scared!" I shoved at his chest, barely moving his massive frame. "I was terrified that he was winning, that all my work meant nothing, that I'd never be free of him. And instead of giving me two minutes to work through that fear, you made it about your abandonment issues and walked away."
He grabbed my wrists, holding them against his chest. "Don't."
"Don't what? Tell you the truth?" I was crying openly now, past caring how I looked. "You talk about trust, but you didn't trust me. The moment things got hard, you assumed I'd leave. Just like everyone else in your life left."
"That's not fair."
"Neither is making me prove my love by passing some test you created." I pulled my hands free. "I love you, Kevin. I'm in love with you. I want to marry you and have your babies and build a life on this mountain. But I need you to trust that love when things get hard, not turn it into proof of your worst fears."
The silence stretched between us, heavy and loaded. I could see him fighting against years of conditioning that told him people left.
"The cottage doesn't matter," I said quietly. "Let Michael have it. Let him have his hollow victory and his worthless property. I don't need it to prove I survived—I have scars forthat. What I need is you trusting that I'm choosing you, even when I'm scared or confused or trying to figure things out."
"Tonya—"
"I'm not leaving you." I grabbed his shirt, fisting the fabric in my hands. "I'm not going back to Michael. I'm not keeping an escape route. I'm staying right here, with you, building a life that's ours. But you have to meet me halfway. You have to trust that when I hesitate, it's not because I don't love you—it's because I'm human and scared and still learning how to be loved properly."
His hands came up to frame my face, thumbs brushing away tears. "I'm sorry."
"I know you are. I know your past makes trust hard. But my past makes quick decisions hard." I covered his hands with mine. "So we work on it together. You trust me more, I choose faster. We figure it out as a team instead of you making ultimatums and walking away."
"I was scared," he admitted, his voice rough. "Scared you'd realize I'm not enough. That the cottage and independence and all of it matters more than some damaged foster kid with abandonment issues."
"You are enough." I pulled him down until our foreheads touched. "You're everything. And I'm sorry I hesitated. I'm sorry my fear looked like doubt. But I need you to know—there was never a choice. It's always been you."
His arms came around me, crushing me against his chest. "I can't lose you."
"You won't. I'm yours, remember? Completely and forever." I pulled back to look at him. "But that means trusting me when things get scary. Can you do that?"
He was quiet for a long moment, and I could see the war in his eyes—old wounds versus new love. Finally, he nodded. "I can try."
"That's all I'm asking." I kissed him softly. "Now can we go back inside and figure out how to make Michael regret ever stepping foot on your mountain?"
The smile that broke across his face was pure relief mixed with something darker. More primal. "Our mountain."
"Our mountain," I agreed.
He dropped the maul with a clatter and pulled me flush against him. "I'm sorry. I should have trusted you instead of letting my past dictate my reaction."
"We both reacted from our wounds instead of our hearts. But we're here now. That's what matters."
"Yes," he said firmly. "And you're never leaving this mountain again. I don't care what Michael threatens or what papers he waves around. You're mine now, completely."
