Page 8 of Awakening the Wild
"What happened to him?"
I hesitated. Shane's story wasn't fully mine to tell. "Bad placement. Really bad. He tried to protect another kid and couldn't. It broke something in him for a while."
Tonya's hand covered mine, warm and understanding. "You saved each other."
"We made a pact. The four of us swore we'd never abandon each other, no matter what. We stayed close to the group home until all of us aged out. Then we put our past behind us. Or tried to anyway."
"Just like that? Where did you go?"
"We lived out of Shane's beat-up car and shitty motels when we could afford it while we worked whatever jobs we could find. Construction, dishwashing, anything that would hire us and let us stay together." The memory of those hard months filled me with pride instead of shame. "We bought lottery tickets, invested in the stock market, pooled our money and saved every dime. It took almost ten years, but we bought this land together and helped each other build our houses."
"All on Burke mountain?"
"Yeah. Neil's got a place about forty minutes north by ATV. He runs a custom furniture business out of his workshop. Sam's east. He runs a wilderness guide services. Shane's south, and works as a paramedic, but he lives off-grid."
"And what do you do?"
"Maple syrup. I have a few acres of sugar maples, three hundred taps. I started small—fifty trees the first year, just enough for personal use. Now I sell to restaurants in Burlington, high-end markets in Boston. It's honest work. Sustainable. Something I built with my own hands that no one can take away from me."
She nodded slowly. "My childhood was lonely in a different way. My parents are both surgeons—brilliant, successful, completely absorbed in their work. I learned early that lovewas conditional on achievement. Good grades earned hugs. Perfect behavior meant attention. Anything less, and I was just background noise in their important lives."
"What did you do? For work, before Michael?"
"Marketing coordinator for a tech startup. Nothing glamorous, but I was good at it. Social media strategy, brand development, that sort of thing." Her voice turned bitter. "Michael convinced me to quit six months into our relationship. Said he made enough for both of us, that I was too stressed, that planning our wedding should be my priority."
"He isolated you financially."
"He isolated me completely. No job, no friends, no life outside of him. By the time I realized what was happening, I had nothing left that was mine." She wiped at her eyes angrily. "Twenty-six years old and I can't even support myself. I have a degree in marketing and two years of experience, but no recent work history, no references. Who's going to hire me?"
"You could start your own business. Online. Maple products need marketing too." The idea was forming as I spoke. "I'm good at production, terrible at sales. You know social media, brand development. We could partner up."
"I can't even make coffee without burning it. You really think I could help with your business?"
"Different skills. You don't need to make the syrup, just help people want to buy it." I leaned forward. "Besides, marketing is something you can do from anywhere. Even from your grandmother’s cottage in the woods."
Something flickered in her expression—hope, maybe, or the first glimpse of possibility. “If I could get reliable WiFi.”
“I don’t know about reliable, but it works more often than not.”
“It would be nice to have a win,” she said, bemused.
"That's why you stayed with Michael," I said, understanding clicking into place. "He made you feel needed, important. Then he took away everything that made you independent, so you'd need him more."
"He made me feel seen at first. He was so attentive, so interested in everything about me. He'd text me good morning and good night. He wanted to know about my day, my thoughts, my dreams." Her voice cracked. "No one had ever paid that much attention to me before. And then, so slowly I didn't notice, that attention became surveillance. That interest became interrogation."
"When did you realize what was happening?"
"When I tried to have lunch with my college roommate and he'd scheduled a surprise weekend trip the same day. When I mentioned joining a book club and he said I should spend that time helping him with work projects instead. He always had logical reasons. Always framed it as us building our life together." She laughed bitterly. "I thought I was being a good partner. Turns out I was just being erased."
"It's never too late to rebuild yourself," I said firmly.
"Isn't it? Look at me—completely dependent on a stranger's charity because I let a man control every aspect of my life."
"You're not dependent. You're regrouping. There's a difference." I caught her eye. "You chose to leave Michael. That took more strength than you realize."
"I don't feel strong. I feel terrified and lost."
"Good. That means you're alive, not just surviving. My brothers and I, we built everything from nothing. No family money, no connections, no safety net. Just four damaged kids who refused to give up. If we can do it, so can you."
