Page 71 of Off Camera
He rubs his arm, and I have the urge to touch him there. To put a steadying hand on his shoulder so he’s not alone.
“Permission for a temporary feud pause?” he asks.
My lips twitch. I like this game we’re playing. “Pause granted.”
“I talked about my dad a little bit the night we met at the bar. He’s been disappointed in me for years. Lately, though, he’s in this phase where he’s constantly telling me how I’ve thrown my life away. All the opportunities I’ve wasted because I want to sit behind a phone and videotape athletes. What I do isn’t good enough, and it’s never going to be good enough for him.”
It comes out in a rush of words.
A tangle of emotions claw at his voice as he squeezes his eyes shut and sighs again.
There’s a crack in my heart at the weight he must be carrying. The burdens he holds and the battles he’s fighting. The thoughts he might have about not being enough, all because of a career that brings him joy.
“Maybe he’s projecting,” I say. “Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“My therapist said the same thing. That might be true, butfuck, it hurts to hear how much of a waste of space I am. Tohear how much better my friends are than me because they’re professional athletes.”
I get up and take the seat next to him. Our thighs press together, and he doesn’t pull his leg away.
“Have you shown him how good you are at your job?” I ask. “The ideas you come up with and how you’re helping the Titans bring in more fans and boost the team’s earnings?”
Reid tips his chin in my direction. “Trying to find ways to compliment me, Avery? Two weeks ago, you called my videos boring. Why the change in your tune?”
I nudge his ribs with my elbow. “Don’t flatter yourself. We’ve pressed pause, remember?”
“It doesn’t matter how much I’m helping the team make. It could bemeearning that money. He has no clue how it works; I’m a glorified influencer to him.”
“Have you set up boundaries?”
“Yeah. Then my mom gets upset, and I cave. She wants us all to be a family, and the more distance I put between us, the sadder she is.”
“You’re not in charge of her feelings, Reid. You’re in charge of yours. You need to do what makesyouhappy. Otherwise, you’re going to be miserable for the next thirty years.” I pause and rub my thumb across my bottom lip, a smile forming there. “Plus, I’ve seen you play flag football. You’re shit at it. Staying off camera is better for everyone’s health.”
His laugh is a deep rumble. Soft, and a sound I hate myself for wanting to hear again. It echoes around us, and I laugh too.
“I’m going to ignore that last comment and pretend you stopped talking twenty seconds ago when you were complimenting me.” Reid knocks his knee against mine, and I feel the touch everywhere. “I’m sorry for unloading all of this on you.”
“It’s okay. It’s distracting me from the game.” I gesture to the television in the corner of the room. “We’re losing, and I always want to turn off the comments when I have to be the one to post the final score.”
“I’d be concerned about the people who like to lose.” He glances at the screen and snorts. “Dallas has a fantastic leg. I can’t keep coming up with captions that praise his kicking ability. I’m out of good ideas.”
“Maybe you all should stop being so good.”
“Beating you is way more fun.” He looks me up and down. “Where did your box go?”
“My box?”
“The thing you were carrying into my office before the game.”
“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” I say innocently.
“You are the least subtle person I know.”
“You saw me and didn’t stop me?”
“Nah. You looked excited. I thought I’d let you have your moment,” he says.
“Oh.” A smile breaks free across my mouth. “Okay, so… I kind of turned your office into a cellophane kingdom.”
