Page 41 of Off Camera
“I don’t want to go into detail,” she says, and I automatically assume the worst. That some piece of shit asshole hurt her, and now I want to hurt him. “Anyway. That’s where the self-doubt started. It’s eased up the last few years, and I’m finally happy again. I think about how drastically my life has changed and…” Avery trails off and shrugs. She draws her legs to her chest and brings my hand with them. “Things are good now.”
“I think it’s really cool you’re giving a presentation to people who admire you. I hate public speaking, and I could never be on stage,” I say, and she pulls me by the hem of my shirt.
“But why? You’d be such a star.”
I sit up on my knees so I’m between her legs. She wraps her ankles around my back and urges me closer to her. I stroke the inside of her thigh and look down, my chest a tangle of emotions when I see her.
Horny. Happy. Sort of embracing this whole “live in the moment” thing. Still questioning how the hell this woman is in front of me, looking up at me like I did something spectacular, like hang the fucking moon.
“That’s debatable,” I mumble, and she laughs.
“Your best man speech at the wedding was great.”
“I took three shots of whiskey before someone handed me the microphone.”
“Really?” Her brown eyes flash to the front of my jeans. “Never would’ve guessed.”
“About that.” I take her wrists and pin them over her head. “I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole or making any excuses, but my job is about to become increasingly busier. I told you it’s been a point of contention in my previous relationships.”
“You’re secretly afraid of commitment, aren’t you?” she asks, slipping her finger into my belt loop and giving a gentle tug. “I knew it.”
“The opposite actually. I’m not a casual guy. When I date someone, I date them because I see a future with them, not because I want a quick romp in the sheets. I’ve liked spending time with you, Avery. I also know I’m not going to be able to give you the attention you deserve for the next few months, but I don’t like the thought of someone else touching you after I’ve had you.”
“What are you proposing?”
“I don’t know what I’m proposing because I don’t know how to do anything except buy you flowers and burn dinner. The relationship stuff I don’t have time for right now, but wish I did.”
“You know how to do a lot more than that. You also know how to make me come. How to make me feel good,” she says, her voice wickedly low. “How to listen and how to hold a good conversation. You’re very good at a lot of different things, Reid.”
“You’re just being nice,” I mumble. My thumb brushes along the edge of her skirt and over her tan skin. I wonder if she likes to sit outside on warm summer days. I wonder if she drives out to the ocean and basks under the sunshine. “But my ego needs the boost after the dinner disaster.”
“So, you’re not looking for anything serious right now?”
“I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop seeing you.”
“Okay.” Avery bites her bottom lip and lifts her hips. Her skirt inches up her thighs, and I see a flash of purple under the denim. Lace, just like she wore the other night, and I haveto stare at the ceiling. “Are you thinking a friends with benefits thing?”
“I guess.” I slide my hand up her leg. “But I also want to make you dinner every now and then. Read a comic book with you in bed and go get ice cream. That stuff sounds like a relationship, but I need to keep my emotions in check. Just for a few months. Does that make me a piece of shit?”
“No.” Avery slips her palms under my shirt and runs them up my back. I shiver at her touch. “It’s a good idea. My life is pretty chaotic too, and there are going to be days when I can’t answer my phone for hours. I’d never want you—or anyone I was seeing—to feel like they were second on my list of priorities.”
“Are you okay with a strictly physical relationship?”
She smiles. Some bright, beautiful fucking thing that makes it difficult to rememberwhyI’m going this casual route when I think it would be nice to sayfuck the responsibilitiesand spend time with her instead.
“Yeah,” she says. “Because I’d really like to have you again.”
I grab the waistband of her underwear. I snap it against her skin and smooth over the mark with the pads of my fingers.
“I won’t take advantage of this.” My voice cracks, seconds away from hiking her skirt all the way up to her waist and asking if I can eat her out. I’d like to live on my knees in front of her. “And we’re going to need to have honest communication if it’s going to work.”
“No sleeping with other people. If one of us feels like the other is getting too suffocating or clingy, we’ll talk about it.” Her right hand moves from my shoulder to the front of my jeans. Avery palms my cock, and my grip on her leg turns bruising. “Work comes first for both of us. It sounds like we both really like our jobs, and we don’t want anything to interfere with our careers.”
“Yes, yes, and more yes,” I say.
She laughs. “You’re not paying attention to me, are you?”
“I promise I am. Jobs. Work. No sleeping with other people. I heard every word.” I nudge her thighs wide and get my first real glance at her underwear. “God. Look how wet you are.”
