Page 165 of Face Off
“Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on? Am I having a heart attack? It feels like I might be.” I rub my hand over my shirt. “Why is it so hard to fucking breathe?”
“You love Emmy,” Dallas says, and I blink at him.
“That’s what her dad told me, and I thought maybe I might but… I’ve never been in love with anyone. How can I be sure?” I press the heels of my palms in my eyes and sit on the floor. “I need a definition. Something to go off of.”
“Do you think about her all the time? Miss her when she’s gone? Feel better when she’s around and would do anything to make her smile?” Dallas asks.
“Yes,” I rasp, and I’m pretty sure the room is spinning. “All of that.”
“Does your heart beat faster when she holds your hand? Do you look for her in a crowded room?” Reid presses.
“He definitely does. You should see him at the rink. He’s constantly searching for her,” Hudson says, laughing. “I counted the other day. Seventeen times during a two hour practice he was watching her instead of the puck.”
“Holy shit,” I whisper. “I love her. I fucking love her.”
“Welcome to the club,” Dallas says. I open my eyes, and he’s standing over me, holding out his hand. He helps me to my feet and pulls me into a hug. “Love is the fucking best.”
“What am I supposed to do with this information?” I ask into his shirt.
“Tell her, probably,” Reid suggests. “That tends to work best.”
“I can’t tell her.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to push her away. She’s already going to fucking Toronto. What if she doesn’t love me back?”
“Bullshit,” Hudson says, and I glance up at him. I’ve never heard him so passionate, not even after our biggest wins and toughest losses. “That woman loves you back. She looks at you all the time, Mav. You don’t see it half the time, because she’s much better about hiding it than you are, but I’ll catch her staring at you, and her eyes get all bright. There’s this little smile she has when she sees you, and it’s the cutest fucking thing.” He pauses and rubs his jaw. “I say that platonically. Please don’t kick my ass.”
“I’d never. Okay, so, what? I just go to her apartment and say,hey, by the way, you might be in Toronto this time next week, but, surprise! I love you!How does that work?”
“Back up. The trade. Coach told you about it?” Hudson asks, and I nod.
“Yeah. Her, Finn and a first round draft pick for Justin Harper. There’s no way he doesn’t take it.”
“Shit,” Dallas says. “Harper is a good player. I’m not saying Emmy isn’t good, but?—”
“But she doesn’t have his experience. I know. Trust me. I get it. Coach said he’s taking forty-eight hours to decide, but he told me I can give her a heads up. And I have to give her a heads up.”
“Okay. Here’s what you’re going to do.” Reid rubs his hands together, and this is where he shines. Logistics. Planning how scenarios might pan out. “You’re going to go to her place right now—I don’t understand why you’re still here. You’re going to tell her the bad news, which is about the trade, first. Then you’ll move to the good news. You’ll tell her how much you love her—and you have to use those exact fucking words, Mav. You can’t be ambiguous about this. Tell her point blank exactly how you’re feeling, and propose a solution. Alternating weekends between here and Toronto. Buying your own place there where you can stay when you’re in town so she doesn’t feel like you’re crowding her. Giving her a key to your place here so she knows she can trust you even though she’s in a different country.” He pauses to take a breath. “And then she’s going to tell you how she feels too.”
“How… what the fuck, Duncan?” I stare at him. “Where has this relationship knowledge been?”
“Here the whole time. But you’re a dumb asshole who thought he wasn’t going to fall for his friend with benefits. How’d that turn out?”
I flip him off and look at Dallas and Hudson. “Do you guys agree? You three are the most relationship-oriented people I know, so I’m trusting your advice.”
“Reid’s right,” Hudson says. “If you want to be with her and you’re willing to put in the work, telling her is going to be the best decision of your life, man. Especially when she says it back.”
“I remember when I told Maven I loved her for the first time. I was scared shitless, but everything worked out exactly how it’s supposed to,” Dallas adds.
“Am I allowed to be pissed off? I told Coach the team comes first, but I’m so fucking angry. I’m angry that the first time I care about someone like this, she might slip away. I’m angry that I didn’t show her how serious I was about her early on. I wish I hadn’t fucked around for months, because now that I’m here, I don’t want to lose any more time with her.”
“Go,” Hudson says. “Go now. Stop worrying about all that shit you can’t control and go tell her how you feel. The longer you stand here with us, the less time you get with her. She might be leaving, Mav. You want all the seconds you can get. Trust me.”
“Yeah.” I nod and pull out my phone, finding our text message thread and hitting her contact info. “I’m going to call her.”
The phone rings, and the guys watch me. I’m not sure Dallas has blinked in nearly a minute, and when Emmy picks up, I almost jump.
“Hello?” she says.
“Hey, baby,” I say. “What are you doing?”
