Page 34 of Camera Chemistry
MAGGIE
I am good.I don’t think I’ve ever felt so… complete. It’s a weird word to use after sex, but it seems the most appropriate. There was physical pleasure, yes. My back arching, Aiden’s fingers pinching. His grunts and my moans. A high I’ve never soared to before, and one I’m eager to ascend again. But there was extreme tenderness, too, from him, in a time where there didn’t need to be. Patience and certainty of making thingsrightfor me.
His arms are sturdy, wrapped around my body in a considerate hold. My fingers run from his wrists to his bicep, marking a path on his skin. Here, in an unfamiliar bed, with a man I’ve just met, the spin of the fan whirring above, I’ve never felt so valued or cared for. The moments of intensity have simmered, cooling to a collective calm where everything feelsright.
Aiden’s eyes close, long eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks. Our breathing syncs, leveling out to a restful hum. I reach up and brush a lock of hair off his forehead, smiling at the gray I find.
“Tell me a secret,” I say softly.
He hums and draws me closer, my cheek resting on his chest. “What kind of secret?”
“I don’t know. Something personal.”
“I thought we were avoiding talking about personal things?” he counters. His eyes open, and a playful gleam winks back at me.
“We are. But I need a second to breathe, and I like listening to you talk.”
Aiden’s chuckle is deep, a sound pulled from within his soul. My palm traverses from his shoulder to his heart, the organ beating rhythmically against my hand. “Maven’s mom cheated on me. That’s why we got divorced.”
“What?” I sit up on my elbow, staring down at him. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, but I promise it’s not as bad as it sounds. Katie, my ex, was spending a lot of time with a woman from work. It was all innocent, of course. Shopping on the weekend. Wine nights during the week. One day, she came home and told me they kissed. It wasn’t premeditated, but a heat of the moment kind of thing. Their eyes locked, and they just knew. Katie felt so guilty, and she told me that when it happened, everything made sense. She said it had never been like that with me. This part of her she had denied existed for years finally came to the surface. She had always been attracted to women and was too afraid to say anything. We were happy, sure, but her and Naomi? Those two are endgame.”
“You don’t sound upset.”
“Right after, I was hurt. I started therapy and reflected on any signs I might have missed. It was selfish to insert myself into the narrative, when it wasn’t about me. Katie loved me, but she loves that part of herself more. As she should. How could I ever be mad at someone who gets to live so authentically now? She found true love, with no secrets, just herself. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for anyway?”
“Those are profound words from someone who doesn’t want a relationship.”
“I don’t want a relationship because of logistics. But I’m still a human. I crave physical and emotional connections like everyone else.”
“Do you think we’re all lucky enough to find that love? The soul-crushing, can’t eat, can’t sleep kind of infatuation?”
Aiden pauses before answering. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. His thumb strokes across my cheek. “No. That love is rare. Sometimes even the ones in it don’t realize how lucky they are. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I have hope. And hope is half the battle, isn’t it?”
His words strike a chord with me. I was in a loveless marriage for years. Millions of other people are, too. There are famous lines about not knowing what you have until it’s gone, and the devastating realization about finding out what you lost.
Despite the heartbreak I’ve suffered, the cynical whisperings that rear their ugly heads in moments of weakness or loneliness, there is a wisp of hope left. A small yet mighty pounding in my ears assuring me it might not happen tomorrow, or next week, or even next year. But one day, Iwillhave that love again. And when I do, I’m never going to let it go.
“I came here for sex,” I whisper. “And you hit me with philosophical deepness.”
“When you hit forty, you turn all introspective. You’ve got a few years to go.” He grins at me. “Sorry for all the real talk. I’ll make up for it with my fingers in a few minutes.”
“Don’t apologize. Thank you for sharing your heart with me, Aiden Wood.”
“I’ve been lonely for almost five years. Then, on a whim, I walk into a warehouse and meet you. I don’t know what that means in the grand scheme of life, but it’s got to be worth something, if only for a little while. Being here with you tonight renews that hope I have.”
“Yeah.” I lean forward. My mouth hovers above his. “It does mean something.”
The conversation dies. His hand twists in my hair and his lips cover mine. With an agile move, Aiden flips us, switching our positions. My head rests against the pillow as he centers himself between my legs.
“I like looking at you,” he says, pulling away. He sits back on his heels. “I want to watch you touch yourself.”
“Sick of touching me already?” I joke.
Aiden’s jaw ticks. “I could touch you for the rest of my life and it would never be enough, Maggie,” he answers. It lodges in my chest like a venomous arrow, and I know he’s being honest. There’s not an ounce of humor in those words, and this is the first time since I’ve walked into his apartment where I wonder if I’ve made a grave mistake. Not out of regret, but because of how fuckingdifficultit’s going to be to walk away.
“You did just fine out in the kitchen.”
