Page 54 of Booked for the Holidays
“Fifteen? That’s it? Sounds like you’re turning into a pushover, Gardner,” I say.
It’s a feeble attempt to help ease some of his tension. I see the way his focus pingpongs around, the gathering size swelling to crowded as more and more people fill the park. How he shifts on the balls of his feet back to his heels, a nervous rock. The deep breath he takes, holding the inhale for three seconds before releasing it through tense shoulders.
The joke works, and his eye roll is paired with another smile. Less stiff, more authentic. We’re making progress.
“It was late, and I was tired from lifting an entire Christmas tree farm. And a human, too,” Theo answers.
“Dad told me about your idea for the stores, BB. It sounds awesome. Seven trees!”
“You’ll have to come by and see it! Were you two planning on sitting alone or…?”
I let the open-ended question hang there. The invitation for them to join us, if he wants.
Theo clears his throat. Rubs the back of his neck. Swallows and nods. “If there’s space, we’d love to join you.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. We have plenty of room, including pillows. I also brought some treats. Come on, Mac. I’ll introduce you to the gang.”
I lead us over to our group, Mac by my side and Theo trailing behind. In my absence, my three other best friends have occupied the blanket with Chandler. They’re gabbing away, laughing loudly, and I clear my throat to interrupt them.
“Y’all.”
Four heads swivel and look up at me. Chandler’s mouth is covered in crumbs. Lucy’s hand pauses, halfway into the bag of cookies. Polly is poised like always, spine straight and legs tucked under her. Skyler, who is constantly on her phone for work, halts the lengthy paragraph she’s texting to give me her attention.
“I’d like you to meet Mac.” I glance over my shoulder, asking for silent permission, and Theo gives me a single nod. “She’s Theo’s daughter.”
It was shitty of me to not give them a heads up before dropping that information so casually. I should’ve sent a message in our group chat with a quick FYI, because I don’t want to make Theo or Mac uncomfortable or put them on the spot to share personal details.
My friends all blink, processing the news. Skylar cranes her neck, looking at Mac, then back at Theo. Lucy’s hand falls to her lap. Polly grins and waves, unfazed, and Chandler looks like she’s seen a ghost.
“Hey, Mac!” Polly, pragmatic and predictable, is the first to speak. “I’m Polly. This is Lucy, Skylar, and Chandler.”
“Chandler works at the store with me. She makes awesome drinks,” I say. “Is it cool if she and Theo hang out with us? The rest of the hardware store folks will be here soon.”
“Yeah.” Chandler breaks her silence. “Of course they can. Come try one of Bridget’s cookies, Mac. They’re incredible.”
Mac smiles and finds a seat on the blanket. Lucy hands her the plate to pick a treat, and Polly starts asking her a question. I shuffle back to Theo. He’s quiet and stoic, a little on edge.
“Hey.” I nudge his shoulder. The line of my arm rests against his, and I keep it there, hoping to convey a sense of compassion and empathy about how anxious he must be right now. “You’ll let me know if I’m doing something wrong, right? She’s your kid.”
“You’re not overstepping,” he says. “Working on recognizing the learning curve associated with her being out in the world is a goal of mine. It’s not easy. I know she’s going to meet people. They’re going to find out about this part of me. It’s an adjustment, but Mac is a big part of my life. Keeping her away doesn’t bring me any relief. It doesn’t benefit anyone. So, here we are. Taking it step by step.”
“I’m proud of you,” I say honestly. I press into him a little further, the warmth of his body fighting off the chill in the air. “Is this crowd level okay? I tried to find a more secluded spot.”
“It’s great. Thanks for thinking of me.”
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, Theo.
“No sweat off my back. I have something that might make you a little less tense. Some positive reinforcement, as my therapist would say.”
His head turns slightly to his right, dropping his chin to look at me. “You’re in therapy?”
“Yeah.” I shrug, unashamed. “Lots of people are.”
“I mentioned it briefly the other night, but I’m… I’m also in therapy. Still. I’ll probably go for the rest of my life. It’s made me a better father.”
“It’s a beautiful thing, isn't it? Certainly helps with the pesky intrusive thoughts that pop up from time to time. Look at us. Tattoo twins. Therapy twins. Keep it up, Gardner, and I’m going to start to think…”
I’m going to start to think you’re who I’ve been waiting for.
