Page 79 of Hymns of the Broken
Jace laughs. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Lexie might have finally learned to keep her mouth shut.”
And just like that, Sawyer’s not just the photographer. She’s the legend of the bus lot—and everyone, even the guys from the other bands, is giving her a whole new kind of respect.
SAWYER
The airoutside is thick with heat, and the leftover noise of the afternoon shows. Ash leads the charge, already chanting something about “barbecue heaven”. Jace and Silas argue over which vendor has the best nachos. Jasper’s hand finds mine, making sure everyone knows exactly where I stand.
We weave through the crowd, past a cluster of fans in matching band tees, until the smell of smoky meat and melted cheese hits me like a punch. My stomach growls loud enough that Ash throws me a wicked grin.
“Starving, Trouble?” He teases, jabbing me with his elbow.
“Starving,” I admit, and I don’t miss the way Jasper’s eyes darken—like he’d rather be feeding me something else entirely.
Micah’s already halfway to the front of the food truck line, arguing with some roadie about hot sauce levels. Jace throws his arm around my shoulder, practically dragging me with him. “Still with us, Sawyer? You haven’t lived until you’ve tried festival BBQ nachos. Legendary.”
I try not to get lost in the chaos—the music in the distance, the press of bodies, the lingering touch of Jasper’s fingers as he slips his hand into mine, threading our fingers together like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I’m not used to being at the center of a group like this, nor am I used to being claimed out loud. But as soon as Ash shouts our order and the guys bicker about toppings, it feels…good. Maybe I could get used to this.
Then I feel the ghost of eyes on me. I look around—not seeing anybody staring at me. It’s like what I felt when I found Jasper watching me, but this is different. Almost uncomfortable…
Just then, Jasper leans in, mouth brushing my ear, pulling me back to him. “Hope you’re hungry, Trouble. Because I’m not done with you after this.”
Ash is the first to snatch up a paper boat of nachos, loading it with so much jalapeño it’s basically a dare. “If I die, I die,” he announces, mouth full, cheese dripping down his chin. Jace snorts and grabs an extra handful, trying to outdo him. Micah calmly claims a plate and a mountain of napkins, shaking his head at their nonsense.
“Silas,you’re on sauce duty,” Jace calls. “I’m not trusting Ash with the Sriracha again.”
Silas grunts, handing out sodas like a bored bartender. “Not my circus, not my nachos.”
We finally settle in the grass near the edge of the main stage, the faded sound of a pop-punk band drifting over the crowd. Ash sprawls out and immediately starts rating passing hairstyles with Jace. Micah, surprising me, has found a girl to flirt with. Jasper sits close enough to keep his arm across my shoulders, chin brushing my hair whenever he laughs.
Ash points at the stage. “Ten bucks says the next guy tries to crowd surf and eats shit.”
Jace whistles. “Twenty if he brings the mic with him.”
“Thirty if he lands in the drum kit,” Jasper adds. “But Sawyer’s gotta catch it on camera.”
I grin, my cheeks flushed from sun and attention, not sure which burns hotter. For a second, I let myself melt into it—all the stupid, messy, incredible noise.
It feels almost normal. Easy.
But then Jasper’s hand finds my thigh, thumb stroking a circle above my knee. “What about you?” He asks, quiet but insistent. “Have you ever done this with your family? Fairs, festivals, whatever?”
I hesitate, the surrounding laughter fading out for a moment. “We used to when I was little. My dad and stepmom would take my sisters and me every year—back when things were still good. I remember riding the fair rides until we felt sick, eating too much cotton candy, watching the fireworks…”
Ash leans in, eyebrows up. “Damn. That sounds like a good time.”
I shrug, feeling suddenly exposed. “Yeah, well. Didn’t last. They were on and off for years until just a few years ago. They used to get along when they weren’t together, but this time it’s different…and I don’t want to be in the middle of it.”
Jasper’s thumb keeps moving, gentle but possessive. “Do you still talk to any of them?”
I nod myhead. “My sister, Cassie, and I are really close, but she has a son, so she is super busy with him. I adore him. I’m working a lot, though, so I don’t get to see them much. I still go visit my stepmom and stepsister when I can. It isn’t as much as I’d like, but I still care. I still consider them family because they were in my life from second grade until a few years after graduation.” My voice cracks on the last part, but I cover it up with a sip of soda.
Jasper’s hand moves to squeeze mine, but it’s Ash who says what everyone else is thinking. “What about your real mom? Do you ever see her?”
The question hangs in the air, heavier than before. Everyone goes quiet, and even Micah stops to listen.
“She left when I was in second grade. Just…one day she was there, then she wasn’t. I was really young, so I might remember wrong. I saw her a few times after that, then she moved away with a new husband, who is great. She would send me letters, and I still have a few of them, I think. Anyway, she moved back, and I would go to her house some. But now I’m busy all the time. Just don’t have the time to visit anybody.
