Page 182 of Hymns of the Broken
Sawyer’s shivering, wrapped in Ash’s hoodie, her head pressed to my chest. I keep whispering, “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. We’ve got you. You’re safe now. You’re safe.”
But I know she’s not, not really. Not yet. I can feel the way she flinches when the van bounces. How tightly she clings to my shirt. Her whole body’s rigid, every muscle screaming to run, even as she melts against me.
Jasper’s hand keeps reaching for her—touching her shoulder, brushing her hair back, squeezing her knee to remind himself she’s here. I see his jaw twitch, the way his eyes keep darting to the back where Blake’s tied up. He wants to kill him. I want to kill him. We all do.
The drive is silent except for Sawyer’s shaky breathing and the wheels grinding over gravel. When the house finally comes into view with the lights burning on every floor, Macee standing on the porch—something inside me breaks.
I carry Sawyer inside, past the stares, past Macee’s choked sob, straight to the couch. Jasper kneels next to her, pulling the blanket tighter around her. Dex and Ash drag Blake down to the basement, slamming the door behind them. Silas is already on the phone, locking down the property.
Macee drops beside Sawyer, taking her hand. “You’re home,” she whispers. “You’re safe. Nobody’s ever getting near you again.”
I want to promise that this is true. I want to believe it. But all I can do is holdher, rockhergently, and try to memorize the feel ofherheart beating against mine.
JASPER
I can’t stop watching Riot hold her—Sawyer curled up against his chest, clinging to him like he’s the only solid thing in a world that’s been stripped bare. He’s whispering in her hair, soothing her with every word, every gentle touch. His hands are so careful, like she might shatter if he squeezes too tightly.
She should be in my arms.
I know that’s selfish. I know this isn’t about me, but the thought chews at my insides, gnawing deep. All I can do is kneel on the floor in front of the couch, hands useless and trembling, staring at the two of themlikeif I blink,she’llvanish again.
I keep replaying it in my head. The text. The shooting range. She left the house thinking she was meeting me—me—and that’s why Blake got to her. That’s why she suffered. If I hadn’t texted, if I’d called, if I’d gone with her, if, if, if.
I want to say something, but my throat locks up. Riot glances down at me, eyes bloodshot but determined, nodding me closer. “Come on, Jasper. She needs us both.”
I slide in, sitting beside him, letting my hand rest on Sawyer’s ankle, then her calf. She flinches at first, then lets out a shaky breath, her fingers reaching blindly until they find mine.
I squeeze, trying to pour every apology, every ounce of love I have into her palm. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, voice breaking. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.Thiswas my fault. If I—”
She doesn’t say anything, just pulls my hand tighter against her. Her eyes are red, but there’s something fierce and alive still burning there, even after everything.
Riot keeps rocking her, humming low, a hand rubbing slow circles on her back. I can see the pain on his face, the anger and guilt that match my own.
But Sawyer’s here. She’s breathing. That’s enough—for now.
I swear to her in that moment I’ll never let her out of my sight again.
And Blake? He’s going to pay for every second she spent in hell.
SAWYER
Everything inside me clenches tight as I feel Jasper pull away, Riot shifting like he’s about to set me down. Panic hits so hard it’s like ice water in my veins.
“No, no, no!” My voice cracks as I grab for Jasper, clutching Riot tighter, hunkering down between them. “Don’t leave me. Not yet. Please.”
They both freeze, turning to look at me—eyes wide, faces carved from worry and exhaustion. For a second, nobody moves. Then they exchange a glance, some silent understanding passing between them.
Riot doesn’t set me down. Instead, he shifts me higher against his chest, one arm locked under my knees, the other around my back, holding me so close I can hear his heartbeat racing. Jasper comes close, brushing a hand over my hair, then tucks a loose strand behind my ear.
“I’m not leaving,” he murmurs, voice low and fierce just for me. “Riot’s going to take you to lie down. I’m going to have Macee order food or fix something quick, and I need to tell the guys what to do with Blake. I’ll be right there. I swear it.”
I nod, clutching his hand as long as I can. He kisses my knuckles before slipping away, and the loss makes my heart ache.
Riot holds me tighter, not saying a word until he’s carried me into the bedroom. The door closes behind us, and the world feels small, safe, just for a moment.
He sets me gently on the bed, never letting go of my hand. “What do you need, Sawyer? You want a shower? A bath? Or sleep?” His voice is soft, careful, like every word might shatter me all over again.
I just stare up at Riot, lost, empty, unsure how to even answer. I want to be clean, but I can’t make the words come out. I can’t make a choice. I want him close. I want to feel safe.
