Page 149 of Hymns of the Broken
Ash grins. “Only if there’s coffee.”
But underneath the jokes, everyone’s a little uneasy. The tension melts back into the hum of now unpacking and moving, but I can’t shake the feeling. Coincidence or not, it feels like the universe just gave us one more reason to look over our shoulders.
***
The house feels too loud, every laugh too sharp, every footstep echoing with a tension nobody wants to name. I slip away from the chaos, tugging on my boots, the hem of Jasper’s T-shirt brushing bare skin where my shorts should be. I hadn’t bothered with more when I wandered out of his room—too tired, too wrung out to care—and the soft cotton still smells like him. I slip out the side door, hoping the cool air will clear my head, even for just a minute.
The sunlight stings my eyes as I step out onto the porch. I breathe in deep, the world finally quiet for the first time all day. My shoulders drop, some of the tightness in my chest finally loosening.
But I’m barely two steps into the yard before I hear the door creak behind me.
“Thought I’d find you out here.” Jasper’s voice is low, rougher than usual.
I don’t turn. “Just needed some air.”
He steps up beside me, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes scanning the tree line, the street, everywhere but me. “You shouldn’t be alone. Not right now.”
I try to laugh, but it comes out thin. “You planning on shadowing me all week?”
He finally looks at me, and there’s nothing playful in his expression. Just raw worry, something more profound and darker. “If something happened to you, Sawyer… If I let you out of my sight and something went wrong, I’d never forgive myself. I’d burn this whole fucking place to the ground looking for you.”
For a second, I see the rage in him. Not just at whoever’s out there, but fear—real, bone-deep fear.
I reach out, fingers brushing his. “Jas… I just needed five minutes.”
He closes his eyes, jaw tight. “I can’t leave you, Sawyer. I wasn’t able to do anything when I watched my dad’s murder. I’m not the little boy anymore, and I wouldn’t be able to handle it if something happened to you. Especially, if I was able to prevent it in the first place. So take you’re five minutes, but I’m staying with you.”
We stand together in silence, hands tangled, the afternoon stretching long and quiet around us. Jasper’s thumb rubs small circles over my knuckles, like he can smooth away the tremor in my bones.
I stare out at the street, fighting the urge to apologize for being snippy, for needing air, for everything that’s spiraled out of my control.
He breaks the silence first. “I know you’re strong. Stronger than me, some days, but I can’t shake this feeling that if I look away, even for a minute… I’ll lose you. And I can’t—” His jaw flexes, emotion catching in his throat.
I blink, surprised by the crack in his armor. “Jas… I’m right here.”
He looks away, as if he can’t bear the weight of it. “You don’t get it. You’re the first thing in my life I ever really wanted to keep. Not just have—keep.And all this shit happening—these photos, the fire, I keep thinking it’s my fault. That I brought the chaos to your door.”
I step in closer, pressing my forehead to his chest, letting his heartbeat steady me. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do this to me, Jasper. If anything, you’re the reason I feel safe at all. Even now.”
He lets out a shuddering breath, one hand coming up to cradle the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair. “You don’t know what you do to me, Sawyer. I’d burn the world down to keep you safe. Even from myself, if I have to.”
He kisses me—soft, desperate, like a promise. And for a moment, all the fear and noise fade. It’s just us, hearts bruised but still beating, standing together against whatever darkness is coming.
JASPER
She’s so close I can’t think straight. Her hands clutch my shirt, her lips are on mine, and everything else falls away—the fear, the shadows, the world pressing in. All I feel is her, right here, with me.
I kiss her harder, letting the ache pour out—like I could fuse us if I just tried hard enough. Her back hits the side of the house, and I don’t let up. I can’t. I need her in a way that scares me.
My hands slide down, gripping her thighs, lifting her just enough so she wraps around me. I fumble with my belt, her breath hot against my neck, her nails digging into my shoulders. She’s already unbuttoning my jeans, no hesitation, no fear. Justneed.
“I can’t wait, baby,” I growl, voice shaking. “I need you—right now.”
She whimpers, and it’s all the invitation I need. I slide into her, rough and deep, and the world goes white. She’s so tight, so perfect, like she’s molded just for me. I thrust into her, quickly, making her feel every inch, feel every word I’m about to say.
I bury my face in her neck, voice raw as I move inside her. “You don’t know what you do to me. I try to act tough, but you break me open every fucking time.”
She clings to me, legs trembling around my hips. “Jasper—”
