Page 19 of Aspen Heat
I've never feltsuch a strong connection with a woman as I do with Melissa. She doesn't grasp how strong and amazing she is, letting herself enjoy this intimacy between us. I sense that she wants to share her story with me, and I try to make it as easy as possible for her to talk to me.
I can't seem to stop touching her or giving her kisses, and these seem to relax her. I am aware, though, that I need to control my reaction to whatever she's got to say to me. I want her to feel like she is doing the right thing by sharing her past pain with me. And I want to help her move on from that.
We're both silent for the longest time as she gets ready to tell me her story. I wait patiently, because it's her story to tell. She should do it in the way that is most comfortable for her. I can't help but be curious, because she's such a strong person.
Finally, she seems to be getting ready to talk.
"I was just starting college when I met him by chance at a mixer. He was one of these men that have big dick energy around them, and I fell for it. He was attentive and funny and I was swept off my feet."
She hesitates, and I wonder how things went wrong with this supposedly fantastic man. I wait for her words impatiently.
"And he was a man, not a boy. He was older and in his last year at school. It wasn't until much later that I realized we hadn't met by chance. He'd been stalking me since he saw me at orientation earlier that semester."
Her hands tighten around my waist and I know she's having trouble getting the words out. I whisper words of encouragement to help her along.
"I was so happy to have found someone that was interested in me. He was my first boyfriend –-I'd been rather sheltered at home-– and it seemed like we were a great match. Being my first relationship, I didn't see the red flags."
"He'd get angry at the tinniest thing and blame me for it. His verbal abuse grew and grew until I shrank every time we had a conversation. I had also made the big mistake of moving out of the dorm and in with him into his apartment."
She's quiet for a moment, but I understand she needs this time to get herself together.
"I was naive and thought it must be my fault, that I made all these mistakes that made him get angry at me, then one day he crossed the line and hit me. I knew deep inside nothing I did could have earned me violence."
"I went to a counselor at the university, and they helped me find the resources to leave him, and I did, for almost six months. But he was determined to get me back and I still hadn’t healed myself. I didn't have that deep knowledge that what he was doing was wrong."
"So we got married when he finished college and he made me drop out of school. I don't know why I stayed with him for so long, but it took a lot of help from counselors and therapists –-who I had to visit in secret-– to be able to finally leave him."
"You are so brave, kitten."
"I wasn't back then, but I am now. It took me a long while to get back on my feet, get my teaching certificate and start all over again. And relationships, I've just avoided them. After all of mine was a nightmare, why would I want a repeat of that."
"How do you feel about yourself now?"
"I like myself, except when I backtrack like I did on the day we met. Losing my home was too much to bear and I was paralyzed with fear. I'm sorry I treated you so badly."
I hold her tighter to me and try to convey with my body and the strength it brings that I would do anything for her. There's one thing going around in my head and it's the fact that we've moved way too fast for comfort and I don't know if I can slow this courtship down without hurting her feelings or her self-esteem.
"Do you think we should slow things down, Mel?"
"I don't know. I've been thinking about that. I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made before. That means I haven't learned a thing and I beg to differ on that front.
I start to place kisses all over her face and she gives me this bright smile. It's a sight to behold.
"I'll take your lead on it, then, kitten."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For listening. For being here. For making love to me. It felt special and somehow sacred. The way we joined together and gave each other pleasure. That wasn't my experience until now."
"Then I'll make it my life's mission to make sure you feel loved and treasured and wanted. And I want to give you as many orgasms as I can."
She giggles at my declaration. It might be silly but the part I left out was that I want to do that for as long as she'll let me. I know it's fast, but our connection is undeniable. We spend the rest of the afternoon taking and enjoying each other's bodies.
That's when I made a fatal mistake and let myself fall asleep in an area where there was still danger to be had from the fires.
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