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Except he’s so alluring...
“Remind me to elect you president of his fan club,” I said.
“Come on, Anya. You’ve noticed how hot he is too.”
I pulled my car into the driveway but didn’t slide it into the carport. “He’s nice looking.”
“Given what we have around here, he’s practically a movie star.”
I blew out a huff. Anything to make her think I didn’t agree with her. “Brent isn’t doing it for you?”
“I’m engaged, not dead.”
I winced.Engaged.How nice that would be, how hopeful. I was happy for Morgan—I really was. Brent was a nice guy. They’d been dating for two years. He treated her well, and he ran the State Farm Insurance branch located in the strip mall on the outskirts of town. Morgan would have a good life with him.
But as thrilled as I was for her, I was sad too. Once she got married, Morgan wouldn’t need me in her life the same way. Our relationship would inevitably change once she folded herself into a solid twosome interlocked by commitment. While that was great, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a twinge of jealousy.
I wanted what she had. I longed to find someone who could make me as happy as she was with Brent. No matter how many times I donned a “single-and-fine-with-it” cloak, I couldn’t deny what my heart truly desired. I hoped to find someone who’d want to spend the rest of their life with me, someone who’d want to build something greater than what I could do by myself. After all, four hands were better than two.
But so far, there had been nobody worth thinking about. No one outside of the endless merry-go-round of “not-for-me’s” I found on dating apps. If finding a meaningful relationship was hard in Chicago, it was even harder in New Burlington, where single people didn’t seem to exist. Here, I was practically a nun.
An unwilling nun, but a nun, nevertheless.Was there such a thing as an unwilling nun? Apart from Maria inThe Sound of Music...well, she was fine until she met the captain. And this wasn’t the Middle Ages, either...
“He’s my rival,” I said firmly, shoving my romance woes aside. The way things were going, they’d always be there, lurking in the shadows, available whenever I wanted to revisit them. “No matter how good-looking or nice he is, he represents the greatest threat my store has ever faced, and that can’t be denied. Now, he’s even stolen my idea.”
“You’re acting like he’s a member of a rival house onGame of Thrones,” Morgan replied.
“He kind of is. That’s a fair comparison.”
She giggled. “You’re such a drama queen.”
“Guilty.” I thought about the way he looked in the store that evening, how handsome he was despite wearing rumpled work clothes and an old baseball cap. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, and as irritating as it was, Robert Kilgore was the best thing I’d seen in a long time in New Burlington. “He’s a nice guy, though. That’s the worst part.”
“I’m going to let you think about that one,” she said. “Think long and hard about it.”
I laughed too, and we ended the call. I parked in the carport, got out, and made my way inside my house. It was small but cozy, and I was proud of it.. It still needed work—an updated kitchen would be first on that list—but all that could come in good time. For now, knowing I owned something was enough. Renting in Chicago had woken me up to how important that was, even for a dreamer like me. Life cost money, and that was undeniable. Owning this place was at least one positive.
After taking off my sneakers and putting away my purse, I crossed into the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of pinot grigio from the half-empty bottle already in the refrigerator. I sipped it as I padded down the hall to the bathroom.
A long, hot, luxurious bath would help. It always had, though I couldn’t remember the last time I’d given myself room to take one. Most days, I came home so exhausted from the store and the mental gymnastics I went through dealing with customers that I barely found the capacity to do more than space out in front of the TV for a few hours before falling into bed for a night of restless sleep.
No, I wasn’t taking care of myself and hadn’t been for a long time. Robert’s arrival proved that. In the back of my mind, I knew it. If I’d been healthy, if I’d been happy, I wouldn’t see him as such a threat. He and his store simply created new challenges.
Reaching the bathroom, I turned on the water and added some of the bubble bath I got six months earlier during a white elephant gift exchange at the Christmas party for the New Burlington Chamber of Commerce. It smelled like roses and jasmine, and after I took off my clothes, I inhaled deeply as I slid into the warm water. For a few minutes, I leaned against the sloped part of the tub and allowed my mind to wander.
First to the store. Traffic was down. Significantly. It was hard to admit, but it was true. Had been that way for a few months—maybe even the better part of the year. The usuals and regulars who typically came into the store didn’t visit as often, and when they did, they bought less. That was going to catch up with us soon. If I tried, I could make plenty of excuses about why—internet sales, a weak economy, less money for discretionary spending... but none of it took away that reality.We need to kick sales into high gear.
I sank deeper into the water.
Gwen also needed to move to an assisted-living facility, and she probably should do so before the end of the year. Finding her after she fell had cemented that for me. What if I hadn’t shown up when I did? What if she’d been there for days? What if she’d really hurt herself? What if...
I closed my eyes a little tighter.
This isn’t your call to make.I knew that. Gwen wasn’t my mother—I’d been through all this pain already with her, and I knew the decisions had to be made by people directly related to her. Selling the house and moving to a facility would be difficult and must be decided by her kids.
But maybe I could influence them...
I snapped my eyes open.Shit.If Gwen moved to an assisted-living place, she’d need money and lots of it. The store would have to keep going; she’d be more reliant on it than ever. It was an extra jab to my side as I tried to relax in the water. I had to keep customers interested in it and had to figure out a way to get back the ones who weren’t patronizing it as often. I needed prestige. The Green Frog did too.
