Page 43 of Double Down
How are you planning on paying your debt, princess? Not even the Titans have that much between the couch cushions.
You can still give me your body as collateral. I’m sure you’ll be able to work it off in a few decades. I saw the footage of the way you eat cock, and how much of an angel you are when you can’t say no.
I have to admit, that’s the first time I’ve ever watched someone get gangbanged on a table, kitten. I can’t wait to make you mine, little girl.
My stomach turns. He was watching the night I tried to prove that I could be enough for all of them. That was supposed to be private, intimate. Something just between me and the Titans, and this bastard watching took that from me. From them.
That he got off while he watched us makes me want to puke.
Unknown
You’re going to love the cage I put you in, firebird. You won’t be able to escape. I can’t wait for you to accept it.
The clock is ticking. Don’t disappoint me anymore. Get your ass to the dock before I lose my patience.
I close out the messages and scrub my face with my hands. I need to confess to the Titans, show them what I’ve been hiding. They need to know; they have a right to know.
I just can’t convince myself to put this burden on them. They already have so much weighing them down, and I can’t add to that. This is my fault. Mine. I and my skeevy father brought this on them, and all I want is to be what sends it away.
Storm’s side of the bed is already cold. He got up before the ass crack of dawn, taking Zeus with him even though he pretends to hate my dog.
I just couldn't force myself to join them.
Instead, I stayed in bed. Restless. Unable to close my eyes. Unwilling to let myself forget the truth.
I’m only here because I’m convenient, because I’m making myself useful.
Those damn words of my father’s are running through my head on loop at this point.
Earn your keep. Make yourself useful.
Every night I sleep next to one of the Titans. Every single one of them sleeps with an arm or a leg slung over me, making me feel safe and somehow caged at the same time. Like they know I’m one disaster away from fleeing.
Without fail, I try to sleep in their arms. But every night I end up lying there, staring at the ceiling and wondering when this is all going to come crashing down around me.
When will they see how worthless I really am? That I’m not adding anything to their lives.
I’m draining their cocks, and that’s it.
When are they going to realize that I am not good enough? That the pain I’m causing outweighs the pleasure I give them.
Well, Con knows. He keeps reminding me that I’m worthless—a part of him is doing all of this solely to punish me. But the others, they’ll figure it out soon.
And I don’t want to be here when the way Storm watches me shifts. When the lust in his eyes fades to apathy.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, muscles protesting. Until that happens, I need to shake off this melancholy that’s seized hold of me over the past week or two. I need to do something…anything. The guys have been busting their asses, trying to hold on to their lives as they know them. I’ve been sitting here playing zombie, waiting for shit to happen to me.
That’s not me.
Storm says I belong to them, and maybe I do. But they belong to me just as much; they always have, and I need to take care of them.
I head into the bathroom and twist the taps to get started on a shower.
I can at least be useful to them. I’ll earn my keep while I’m here.
When I’m dressed, the first one I check on is Atticus. He’s still in his office with his shoulders hunched, his gaze moving between three monitors as his fingers fly over the keys.
“Good morning, Kitten,” he says, without looking up from the screen. “You smell delicious.”
