Page 50 of Five
IwatchNeveretire,making sure she’s safely inside, and take a couple of minutes for myself before I head back to the guys.
Having her here is almost surreal. None of it was supposed to happen this way, but I can’t say I’m disappointed. Hell, after a kiss like that, how could anyone be disappointed? The taste of her is still on my lips, and I feel an even stronger connection now than I did over the video chat.
I’d gotten great vibes from her, even then, but things have a tendency to be more staged unless you’re meeting face to face, so this was always going to be the litmus test. I just wish it was under different circumstances.
And I have to wonder whether the pull I’m feeling toward her is just because of that crucial piece of information my brother told me about after he started investigating her case.
Oscar’s boss would have his hide if he knew Oz had shared confidential data, and normally he would never even have considered it. But the reality that Neve’s brother was another of the Lost Boys is one of those vital details that hold the ability to either make or break the relationship we’re tentatively exploring.
I’m glad I know. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if I’d found out something as pivotal as this later on. It’s something that certainly contains the potential to destroy things between us. I know that for a fact, because those kinds of experiences don’t ever leave you. They leave their stain on your life and it’s one that can never be fully erased, no matter how hard you try.
But now that I know? I can’t help speculating if it’s that common ground that draws me to her.
Hell, maybe it doesn’t even matter. Oz always says I overthink things. He’s not wrong, but when you lived the way I did for almost two whole years of my childhood, you learn to cover all the bases.
Twenty-three point three months.
One hundred and one point four weeks.
Seven hundred and ten days.
I can count that time down to the second. It lives inside me like a coiled snake, often dormant, but always there, ready to uncoil and strike without warning.
What’s going on now—this case Oz is working on and the way Neve is involved—has me unnerved, and I’m having to consciously work on my anxiety levels.
But Neve…she’s like a bright ray of sunlight penetrating my turbulent thoughts and bathing me in her warmth.
When I get back to the dinner table, Remi is busy mixing cocktails. He hands Cope some monstrosity with six paper umbrellas and a straw which he sucks on, loudly, and my first instinct is to fetch Neve back and ask her to join us. It seems wrong that she’s missing out on this, but Oz thinks she needs some space to settle in and regain her equilibrium, especially on this first night. Besides, Jesse, who has returned with his empty plate now we’ve finished eating, is being an even bigger dick than usual, and I certainly don’t want to expose Neve to more of his negativity and risk her leaving.
Didn’t seem like she wanted space, though. That kiss…I can still feel the urgency of her lips on mine. But Oz is right about one thing. This isn’t something we should rush into, and it’s not like Neve is exactly here by choice. However things progress, we need to remember that. I never want her to feel like she’s been coerced into exploring something with us because of circumstances.
While Remi passes me a tall glass which hosts a blend of sunset colors, Oz is nursing a lager as he taps away on his laptop, and that makes me grin. None of this prissy stuff for him. But I wish he’d stop working for a little while. This entire situation, Neve, the Lost Boys, the coincidences I know he doesn’t believe in, all have him hyper focused and on edge. He needs to just relax occasionally, but there’s no point in telling him so. He won’t listen.
Remi studies me, one brow raised, a knowing smile on his face, and I wonder what he’s seeing in my expression.
“How did it go? Everything okay?” he asks.
Well, those are the words that come out of his mouth, anyway. It feels like he’s asking something completely different, though.
All the rest of the guys look at me expectantly, waiting patiently for me to reply, but it’s Jesse who responds.
“Well, young Ollie here wasn’t gone for very long. If anything happened, then his girl’s first night on the island is sure going to be a disappointment. She’s probably wondering if that’s why there needs to be four of you.”
“Five,” Cope murmurs almost too quietly for anyone to hear. Certainly, nobody acknowledges it, except Jesse who turns and looks like he’s about to lay into Cope.
“All I did was kiss her goodnight.” Normally I wouldn’t have said anything; it’s private. But something in me wants to divert Jesse, not only from his denial of wanting any part of our polyamorous intentions, but also from taking another swipe at Cope.
The pair of them are like chalk and cheese. Cope’s diving in headfirst like he does with every relationship, while Jesse’s busy trying to push Neve and all the rest of us away. Oz, Remi, and I are taking a more measured approach, feeling things out and keeping an open mind, but it all seemed easier in theory.
Like I planned, Jesse’s attention refocuses on me, but he’s still taking swipes at Neve. “Ooooh, first base! What a slut! We definitely got our money’s worth with her.”
I’m normally easy going. It takes a lot to rile me up… another legacy from my time in captivity when I learned fast not to show anything that could be used against me, but I feel my blood start to boil. What the fuck is his deal?
It’s my brother who responds, though. Oz stops typing, slams his laptop closed, and surges to his feet, looming over Jesse. “I’ve warned you more than once, already, Jesse…”
Anyone else would have the good sense to shut up and look worried, but not Jesse. It’s almost like he’s cruising for a fight.
“What you gonna do, big man?” he goads. “You wanna piece of me? Bring it on!” Jesse wiggles his fingers in a ‘come at me’ gesture, and if the table wasn’t separating them, I think Oscar might have taken the bait.
