Page 189 of When We Ignite
Oliver let out a dry laugh, almost resigned. “Ethan’s right, Ash. It’s not just on you.”
“Itis,though,” I insisted. “I’m supposed to protect you from all this bullshit, not fight against you. I’m so fucking fed up with him—Dad—and I’ve been taking it out on everybody. It’s not fair. And I’m sorry.”
Oliver studied me for a moment before speaking. “It’s okay.” His voice was softer now, but the look he gave me was unreadable.
“It’snotokay,” I said, laughing bitterly. “The funny thing is, Ethan is the reason I even realized I was doing it. He called me out on it. I’m not apologizing to get out of a fight, Oli. Youdeservethis apology. And I know I’m putting you in an impossible position. Trust me, if it could have beenanyoneelse, I would have chosen them over Ethan. But it’s not in my hands. I can’t control it.”
Oliver narrowed his eyes. “What can’t you control?”
I exhaled, running a hand over my jaw. “Wanting to be with him. Not being the cause of his heartbreak. Giving him what he wants…” I trailed off.
Oliver made a small sound, something amused, something knowing.
“What?”
He shrugged, a half-smile tugging at his lips. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted you to find someone. Not because of Dad or to get your mind off fucking around, but because Iwantedyou to have this. I didn’t want you to be alone. After Mom…you took on everything, Ash. I know why you picked that college. I know why you wanted the company. Iknowit was for us.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I turned away, blinking rapidly.
“I’m sorry for accusing you of being selfish. God knows you deserve better than that after everything you’ve done for us. But this past year? Youclosed off—from me, from Henry, from everyone. You let that job suck you in, let Dad sink his claws into you. I thought you didn’tcareanymore. And I thought…maybe if you found someone, they could help you see that youdeserveto be happy too. That you can want something for yourself without feeling guilty about it.” He looked out at the ocean for a long moment, then back at me. “I guess…careful what you wish for, right?”
That persistent burn behind my eyes flared up again. I took a steadying breath. “Careful what you wish for?” I echoed.
Oliver gave me a knowing look. “I wanted you to fall in love. Your choice inwhomjust really fucking sucks.”
I started to smile—until his words caught up with me. “I’m not. Ethan’s the one who’s—” I hesitated, shrugging. “He’s young. He doesn’t even know what’s what.”
Oliver rolled his eyes. “Don’t backtrack now, Ash.”
“I’m not, it’s just?—”
“Ash.” Oliver’s voice was gentler now, but firm. “You’re in love with him.”
It wasn’t a question. And fuck, did that feel like a punch to the gut.
I exhaled shakily, feeling lightheaded from this whole goddamn day. I dropped down onto the sand. Oliver followed, sitting beside me in silence.
The waves rolled in, steady and unbothered, while my world fuckingtilted.
I stared at the horizon, my mind running in circles. Who the hell was I trying to fool at this point? It was so jarringly obvious, it was almostcomical.
Finally, I let out a slow breath and accepted my own goddamn defeat. “Yeah. I love him.”
Oliver huffed, shaking his head. “I figured.” He went quiet for a beat. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with this.”
“But…we’re good?” I asked, offering my hand.
Oliver gave me a small smile before pulling me into a hug. “We’re endgame, Ash. I can fucking hate you and love you at the same time. Nothing is ever going to break that.” His voice was quiet, but certain.
Relief swelled in my chest, settling deep.
Then, “Just stop fucking in common areas.”
I barked out a laugh, shoving his shoulder. “I love you, too, little brother. I’m sorry for lying.”
Oliver shrugged. “Thanks for apologizing.”
“Any time.”
