Page 38 of Sawyer
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like that,” Sawyer continued. “You should talk to each other and figure out what to do. Because I don’t think you want to lose each other. God knows, I don’t want to lose either of you.”
Sawyer’s words punched a hole in him. “We don’t want that either. That’s why we’re fighting this so hard, Doc.”
Sawyer tipped his head to the side, studying him. “It’s not the only reason.”
“Then what is?” he cried out, raking his hand through his hair. “Because I’m agonizing over it like you agonize over your paintings.”
His brown eyes softened. “It’s fear, Kyle, because you feel so much for each other. Friendship. Lust. All of it. Philosophers say love is the best and worst feeling in the world.”
He hung his head. God, did he love her? Was that why it hurt so much? “I hate feeling like this, but I especially hate being afraid. Not my go-to.”
“It’s only natural to feel fear. Especially when your emotions are this intense and might have life-altering complications.”
“Nice summation, Doc.”
“I know this might not help, but why not start being afraid ofnotbeing with her? Because it might come to that. Rico wants her. He’s pursuing her. She might let him. Not to make you jealous but because she’s practical enough to know something needs to shift between you.”
He swore. “You mean she’d find someone just to move on. To make things easier between us. But dammit, Doc, seeing her with someone else brings out a dark side in me. I wanted to rip out Rico’s throat tonight.”
“I know. So did I, honestly, but for other reasons. I think you and Madison can be happy together.”
He gripped the counter, flabbergasted. “You do?”
“Yeah, I do. I told you. I’ve watched how you two are. You’re like two fiery pieces of metal who’ve been forged together. You fit. But it’s not my life. You have to decide what you want to do. Only, do it soon because Rico wouldn’t have brought a Olvido Divino 30 bottle of mezcal for just anyone.”
He’d missed the label. One of the most expensive mezcals on the market. “Shit. All right, I’m thinking about it.”
“I’m here if you need anything. Just like you’re always here for me. Kyle, we’ve all got your back. Madison’s too.”
Standing in Nanine’s kitchen where they had first met and worked together, Kyle was overwhelmed with memories. He’s grown up here, he’d thought. Apparently, he still had a ways to go.
“Thanks, Doc.”
“Anytime. Now, do you want to eat with me? Or are you going to ruminate over your life choices?”
He snorted out a laugh. “Any duck with cherries?”
“You’re in luck.” Sawyer shoved the container toward him. “Man, you are so gone over her.”
As he dug into a container filled with the recipe he’d helped her nail, Kyle closed his eyes and savored the mélange of flavors, seeing Madison holding up the tarragon with her golden eyes lit with joy as she got the final ingredient.
Hedidlove her.
Capital L love and all of the rest. His heart might as well have launched from Cape Canaveral into space. It was pounding and burning and pulsing with joy. Click made, he turned to the next problem.
How to conquer both of their fears.
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
After his talk with Kyle last night, Sawyer was grateful for the feeling of infatuation he was riding.
Until he looked up the etymology of the word, something he was wont to do. It took his mood down, learning it was from the past participle stem of Latininfatuare, meaning to make a fool of.
He decided being hit with Cupid’s arrow was a better description, after all. So he went down a different rabbit hole, reading academic opinions on the myth, and was delighted to discover how many agreed it was about love’s ability to bring joy. That was a bandwagon he could climb on.
He was hoping for such joy for himself.
