Page 107 of The Calendar of New Beginnings
He tapped his desk emphatically. “That sounds pretty smart to me. Only a moron wanders into a war zone and says he’s not afraid. I told you when you went off on your first assignment that fear is only fear. It only has the power you give it.”
Right now, she felt like she was battling every shadow inside her while Andy seemed to have finally conquered his. “That’s a good transition to my other problem.”
She looked down at her hands, feelingsuddenly awkward. In all the years she’d known him, she’d never imagined asking her mentor advice about relationships.
“I can already tell your problem concerns my great-nephew,” Arthur said in his gravelly voice. “Best spit it out. I’m aging here.”
That made her look up. A short smile tugged at her lips. “It might be a little embarrassing.”
His head darted back. “If this is about sex, you can forget it. I might dispense some common sense advice to you young people since you don’t seem to have a lick of it, but I am not a sex therapist. For the love of Pete!”
Now she was blushing. “It’s not about sex. It’s about…”
“Yes? Yes?” he prodded, leaning over his desk.
“Andy wants me to consider having a future with him,” she said, clutching her hands. “Here in Dare Valley.”
“Mmmm,” he mused, rubbing his chin.“Interesting.I have to admit I’m impressed.”
Now she was confused. “Impressed? I’m not following you.”
“I lost my wife after spending fifty-some years with her, and it crushed me.” He tapped a finger to the picture of Harriet he kept on his desk. “I’ve always wondered what I would have done if she’d been taken from me as young as Kim was taken from our dear Andy.”
Everything inside Lucy seemed to still, and she leaned forward to listen.
“I’ve always said a real man realizes the importance of marriage and family,” Arthur said, looking back at her. “Seems Andy has found a way to do so twice in his young life, and that takes more courage than most people possess. And let’s face it…after losing one woman, it takes big balls to want to forge a life with another whose career could kill her. That impresses the hell out of me.”
Shell-shocked, she sat back in her chair. She’d been so focused on her own feelings, she hadn’t stopped to think how much courage it must have taken for Andy to visualize a future with her. He’d told her he wasn’t afraid anymore, but she hadn’t completely gotten it until now.
How many times had he told her he’d struggled with the idea of dating again, let alone remarrying, before Lucy’s return to Dare Valley? Her heart felt constricted in her chest, like it was tugging at bonds of her own making.
“I’m ashamed I freaked out on him, but I’m also confused about what to do. Andy told me my vision shouldn’t factor into my decision about our future.”
“He’s completely right,” Arthur said, pounding his desk emphatically. “You either love him or you don’t. You either want to be with him forever or you don’t. As I told Meredith when she first met Tanner, life is short. Don’t dick around.”
She blinked at his language, but then extended her hands in exasperation. “But this is Andy we’re talking about. He says we’d find a way to make my career work if we had a family, but?—”
“You don’t believe him,” Arthur said. “Ah…I see the problem now.”
“He’s the settle-down, two-car-garage kind of guy. Heck, I’ve never even had a garage.”
“Do you want to have kids, Lucy?” he asked.
Every time she’d held a child against her breast—be it in an orphanage or a stifling-hot village hut, she’d hoped to have one of her own someday. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
Arthur cleared his throat and reached for a water glass on his desk. “All this talk is making me thirsty.”
Lucy knew he was only giving himself more time to think, so she gave it to him, all the while fighting theurge to bounce her leg in agitation. Talking about marriage and having kids was raising all sorts of emotions inside her.
“When it comes down to it, Lucy, love is a choice. Sure, there’s that warm feeling you get from being around someone you fancy, but it takes more than that for two people to build a happy life together. You have to be willing to hang in there with the person you choose and do your best to support them and let them support you. Andy has already proven he could support one partner.”
“She didn’t want to travel the globe,” she said, thinking of Kim.
“Last I saw, there were still airplanes that could fly you somewhere in a day and vehicles to take you the rest of the way.” He pushed his water glass aside. “Maybe you won’t be in the field as long as you used to be. Here’s a humdinger for you. Did you stay in those countries for all that time because you needed to do your job, or did you stay because you had nowhere else to go between assignments?”
His humdinger, as he’d called it, smacked her right in the face. “Dammit, that hurts.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it?” he said, rolling up his sleeves. “Lucy, you’re one of the smartest, most interesting women I’ve ever known—and I’ve known a lot. Ever since you were a kid, asking questions aboutglasnost,I knew you were special. You weren’t like the rest of the kids around here. Not even Meredith has your global breadth as a journalist.”
