Page 79 of The Calendar of New Beginnings
“I am,” he said honestly. “You lost me with EVF.”
She explained that and a whole lot more, and he nodded because he understood most of it. Then she launched into a description of various camera models, making his eyes cross.
“Are you still listening, or have you zoned out?” she abruptly asked.
He tugged on his ear. “I hear words, but it’s like you’re speaking camera Klingon.”
“Funny,” she said, crossing her arms tight over her chest. “So, back to the whole sex thing. I want to do it finally. I think. Wait a minute. Yep, I’m pretty sure.”
He found himself smiling despite himself. “Well, that’s a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one.”
She moved like quicksilver, pushing him onto his back and crawling on top of him. “Is this better?I want you. Only you. All of you.”
While her throaty voice suggested she was puttinghim on, he found it terribly arousing. “Are we back to joking about this? Lucy, we need to be serious. Consider the implications. Heck, we haven’t talked about sex histories and birth control yet.” He’d waited to bring it up, wanting to allow things to deepen between them.
She blinked, and he knew he had her attention.
“I can get a blood test if you need it,” he said, “but I can assure you I’m clean.”
“I can show you my last TB test,” she said, shoving his shoulder playfully. “Andy, you’re taking all the fun out of this.”
“And you’re trying to make it too simple,” he said, cupping her chin. “I still don’t know how you figured it out when I lost my virginity freshman year of college, but I think you know…oh, shit…I’ve never been a player.”
“I know,” she said, all serious now. “I’m not making fun of you. I’m only trying to get us through this awkward conversation.”
He studied her. There was extra color on her cheeks, he realized. “You’re embarrassed? Funny, I didn’t expect that.”
She shoved him. Harder this time. “Why not? It’s not like I’m promiscuous. Did you think I was?”
He ran his tongue over his cheek. “No. Other than our talk a couple of weeks ago, you’ve never really discussed guys with me.”
“It’s not like you wanted to talk about girls with me either. I only figured out you’d lost your virginity because I know you so well.”
“And you poked at me pretty bad that day,” he said, remembering how angsty he’d felt after ending their phone conversation. “Part of me had hoped you might be a little jealous. It’s hard for me to say that.”
She was silent for a long moment. “I was. It’s hard for me to admit that.”
There was a tug in his heart. “There’s a part of me that feels rather vindicated right now.”
“Good,” she said dryly. “So let’s finish up the stroll down sex lane. I lost mine not long after you lost yours, to an English major who loved photography. His name was Hugh, and he was okay, I suppose. He wrote me a poem, which was kinda sweet.”
Hearing her talk about her past was making his diaphragm tight. “Was it a good poem?” he asked, pitching his tone to give it a double meaning.
“It was terrible,” she said, shaking her head. “There were a few other guys in college. Interesting ones. I like interesting. And then I went overseas and there were a few more—like the agriculturalist I told you about—but I had to be more careful. The communities I worked in didn’t respect women who slept with men who weren’t their husbands. I…wanted to maintain my reputation and honor their feelings. But there were certain ways to engage in a romantic relationship without major consequences.”
As he listened, he realized there was so much about her time overseas that he didn’t know about.
“Some of my female colleagues recommended going on the Pill in case I got raped,” she continued, distant now as she remembered. “Some also suggested I wear a wedding ring and pretend I was married so I would get hassled less, but I couldn’t do that either.”
“Good Lord, Lucy,” he said, sitting back in shock. “I had no idea you had to deal with things like that. No woman should.”
“It was part of the life I’d chosen,” she said matter-of-factly. “I never had unprotected sex with anyone.Even if they said they were clean. There are too many expats who have sex with locals. It’s not like I suspected my boyfriends would cheat on me, but I didn’t want to risk getting AIDS either.”
Right. AIDS. The disease that especially plagued some of the African countries where she’d worked. “Can you come here?”
Her eyes came back to him. “What?”
“I need to hold you for a minute,” he said, his chest feeling tight with the realization of all the danger she’d been in.
