Page 62 of Love and Other Trials
She wiped her runny nose, a picture of pure misery. “He’ll tell Rob about this. God! Everything is such a mess.”
How could she refute that one? “What do you want to do, Tiff?”
Her sister started crying softly, putting one hand to her head. “I just want to get married and be happy. Ariel, I came here because I was so upset. What Mother said to me was awful. Rob was passed out from drinking when I got back to our cottage, probably because all I did when I got home earlier was cry. He doesn’t like me doing that because he doesn’t know how to fix it. I just couldn’t take being there! I felt like I was coming apart. Bowie always makes me feel better about myself, and he doesn’t mind me crying.”
Ariel took her hand and squeezed it. “That’s a wonderful quality in a person.”
“It is.” She wiped her puffy eyes again. “But we weren’t meant to be. I know that. I just needed someone to tell me I’m not fat.”
Her heart thudded heavily in her chest. “You’re not fat. Any more than I’m unattractive with short hair. Mother…is Mother.”
She dashed at her tears, inhaling jaggedly. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
Tiffany’s voice sounded young and broken and unsure. Ariel hated that. “I know.” She tightened her grip.
They shared an unspoken look, and Ariel could feel tears burning at the back of her eyes. For their shared hurt. For all the moments in between when they hadn’t understood each other. How strange that it was this moment, this hurt, that bonded them at last.
“You’ve got so much going for you,” Tiffany said hoarsely, turning and facing her completely. “Ariel, Mother is right. You are the smartest of all of us, and you’ve got a successful career to prove it. People respect you. All I have are my looks.”
“That’s not true, Tiff,” she whispered, biting her lip as she took in her sister’s complete vulnerability. “You have a great son and a really great fiancé. I don’t know Rob well, but I know Dax wouldn’t be his best friend if he wasn’t special. You have a brand-new life ahead of you.”
“I know that.” Her hand was shaky as she reached for her water glass. “I just wish I was sure he loved me like crazy. Like Bowie did... Oh, Ariel?—”
Her entire face crumpled, and as she reached for another bar napkin, she knocked into the water glass in front of her. Ariel caught it before it spilled right as Tiffany launched herself into her arms. Ariel held her as she cried, rocking her. Feeling that sense of powerlessness she always felt in the face of human grief, whether it be over the loss of a house, a loved one, or a relationship. She simply held on and let her big sister cry.
“I love Rob so much,” Tiffany choked out, clutching her back. “I just want to feel like he really wants to marry me.”
Ariel stroked her sister’s hair, feeling her tears wet her skin. “Why do you doubt that?”
She pushed back and pursed her lips, clearly fighting something. Then she shook herself. “Because I’m pregnant.”
Oh. God.
Not again. Especially since Tiffany had vowed to never let it happen. No wonder she was so upset. God, she’d even lied to Mother about it and confessed to stress eating, which she’d known Mother and everyone else would accept. Biting her cheek so her mouth wouldn’t gape, she only did what she thought would help. She hugged her sister to her and tried to assure her it was okay. That she was okay.
“You know how it happened with Marshall, and I swore it wouldn’t happen again.” Tiffany’s voice was hoarse as she dabbed at her tears. “Except Rob had already proposed so there’s that. Maybe I have a pregnancy curse too. God, I don’t know. But Rob and I had sex after I’d finished a course of antibiotics and somehow it happened. Ariel, we Deverells have the worst luck.”
She was still reeling, and she couldn’t exactly disagree with her sister. She could already imagine what their mother would say.
“And now my dress won’t fit.” She pressed her hand to her stomach, which seemed pretty flat to Ariel. “When I called my doctor today, she said it’s not unusual with a second baby for your waistline to change suddenly this early on. And I have been eating more.I’m hungry.”
Ariel already knew the answer, but she asked it anyway. “Why didn’t you tell Mother? Or the rest of us?”
Tiffany took a shaky drink of ice water and smoothed her hair back from her brow. “Why do you think? The jokes about me wearing white last time were awful. I can still hear people’s catty comments about me being a slut as I walked away from greeting them at my reception. I couldn’t stand it again, and Mother wouldn’t keep it a secret. Neither could Terry or Tricia.”
How could she disagree? They both knew it was true.
Her sister’s big, watery eyes turned to her then, and she clutched her hand. “Ariel, that’s why I wanted you to handle the wedding. You always make things right. Even when it’s a disaster.”
Hearing her sister’s reasoning made her feel cold inside. There it was again. Her role as the one who picked up all the pieces after disaster struck. She was suddenly sick of it. “So you blackmailed me? Tiffany, why didn’t you just tell me all of this? I would have helped you, and I would have kept it secret.”
“I was scared!” She turned back toward the bar and hung her head, pulling her blond hair over her bare shoulders. “I didn’t want to admit I’d made another mistake. Not to anyone. For once, I wanted to be perfect. Not the bride who got knocked up for a second time. Do you know how humiliating that is? I just wanted everything to be perfect. A wedding is supposed to be the best day of your life, and I hoped that if Rob and I started out that way, then maybe it wouldn’t end up like it did with Teddy.”
Marshall’s father.
Tiffany worried her engagement ring. “I don’t want to go through that again. Divorce is awful. Being a single mom is so hard, Ariel, and Marshall is a great kid, but he’s a handful. He gets into trouble at school a lot. I know Rob is going to be a good influence. A good disciplinarian. And this baby… I want it to have a happier life than Marshall and I did after everything fell apart. Can you understand that?”
Her bones felt like lead. When had her sister ever told her any of this? “Of course I understand, Tiff, but being straight about how things are going for you would help everyone understand. I think it would make things easier.”
