Page 48 of Brooke
This was scary, life-changing stuff.
Half of her wanted to grab his face and shower it with kisses of sheer joy while the other wanted to recoil and run, afraid to believe this could last.
“You are hopeful but uncertain.” He smoothed a hand down her nape in a luxurious caress. “That is all right. All Ican be is how I am. And with you, it is like this. I only hope you agree to let me help you wrestle your demons, as they say, because Brooke, I believe we can be the sunrise and the sunset for each other, if you will only keep holding my hand.”
The trembling was back, along with a pulsing hurt pressing under her breastbone. “I want to believe you, Axel, because… Oh shit, I’m totally going to put it out there. I feel really good with you too. Safe and seen and…”
“Beautiful,” he finished, tracing the seam of her lips, igniting more desire within her. “Because you are. But trust with such potent feelings is mandatory. As is honesty and consistency. Thank you for telling me that you feel good with me.”
She snorted. “Good is a pathetic word. My editor would fire me for using it.”
He settled them more deeply into the couch, and this time she nestled in, letting the last bit of tension leave her body. “I am fine with its use for now, but feel free to refine it. Perhaps Sawyer can help you. He is quite the philosopher and will have big words at the ready.”
She poked him in his chest, the muscles hard and unrelenting under the thin fabric of his shirt. “I only poke people I truly care about, FYI.”
“I am happy to hear it. Poke away, then. But Brooke, let us finish this conversation about Thea because we should both eat. Afterward, I would like to kiss you as the firelight dances over your skin.”
A wave of desire rose up inside her. “Are you asking me to stay?”
“I would wish you to never leave, but making love tonight might confuse comfort with intimacy. We can have both, but not the first time we come together, I think. You will never be certain if you stayed only because I could make some of the pain go away.”
He was right. She toyed with a button on his shirt. “Toobad. I’d been leaning toward staying. Especially after the vision you shared of me in your shirt.”
“I know.” He let out a deep breath himself, one so massive it ruffled her bangs. “And while I want you here like that, I want more for both of us. Tonight is not our night for?—”
“A full and complete exploration of each other, to use your words,” she continued, a sensuous longing swirling in her belly. “I’ve thought about what you said you wanted. I want it too. With you.”
He tucked her back against him. “The honesty between us pleases me greatly. Now, I will be more honest. Brooke, you need to tell Thea how you felt. She already knows, as she loves you. You might also let Thea tellyouhow she felt. You already know that too, but there is something wonderful about sharing such things with a friend.”
Thea’s image came to mind, along with memories of lying in each other’s beds and sharing their deepest feelings with each other. She hadn’t had a friend like Thea since she’d been a little girl, before her mother had made her doubt herself and her likability.
His arms wrapped around her tightly as the fire crackled. “You and Thea can cry and laugh together—but be sure to have that champagne in the chiller—because afterward, you will ask her to model the dress for you, and all will be well between you. Maybe even more so because she’ll know she can be independent without you being hurt again. While you’ll realize you do not need to do anything to maintain her love. No one who is truly worth loving asks us to adhere to a checklist. Such love is downright Draconian.”
Her heart wasn’t a tangled, weighty mess in her chest anymore. She rose up to see his beautiful face, awed anew by the sheer strength and kindness there. “You will have to tell me who hurt you sometime.”
His smile was somehow mischievous. “They have had many names, but their methods were the same. Once I wisedup to that reality, they were easier to conquer. But yes, I will tell you my story and share my feelings with you because, like friends, it is also something you do with a lover.”
Her belly turned liquid, desire curling inside like a swirl of smoke. A lover…yes. She’d always loved the way the French said that. Sensual. Filled with mystery. Unlimited passion. She’d always wanted a lover. Now she would have one, and a pulse of desire rocked through her at the thought. “That is what I want you to be, Axel.”
He caressed his hands up and down her back. “You are calmer now, I believe. Are you ready to eat?”
Her body hadn’t once prodded her for food. No, she had another kind of hunger—one that involved the breathtaking man before her, his glacier blue eyes fixed on her face. “Perhaps in a little while. If you can wait. I mean, you’re huge and— Well, you are.”
“Undoubtedly so,” he said, his lips twitching.
She shot him a glance, fully able to appreciate how large he was now that she was sitting on his lap. Men who could hurl comets were well endowed. “Males and their fascination with size.”
“Women are fascinated too. Don’t deny it.”
She couldn’t, and his humor was suddenly contagious. “I do not. I am delighted you’re big. How’s that for honesty?”
“Enough for me to suggest we move back into the kitchen before I show you how much.” He gently pushed her off, a wicked playfulness dancing in his eyes.
She rose along with him. “Axel. I’m glad you are fun and funny. I…could not like you as much as I do if you weren’t.”
“I realize that. All of your friends are quite funny. Madison doesn’t seem to know she is, and I find her hysterical.” He sobered, a shadow flashing over his face. “I need the humor too. I can be very serious and intense and lose my perspective sometimes, although that is rarer now. Laughter balances me. It is something I have had to cultivatein myself. Brooke, I am glad you are all of those things too.”
Another huge wave of emotion rose up. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
