Page 119 of Beside Golden Irish Fields
“This means you have a job, cousin,” Liam said, lifting Ollie over his head, making the boy cry out in joy. “If you wish to stay.”
Angie sank down onto the settee, touching her head.
“Is it throbbing?” Megan asked, sitting beside her.
She thought about it. “No, it’s not hurting. It’s blank. I think I’m in shock.”
“I know,” Bets said, dancing around the room. “It’s the most incredible thing. He’s been working on that house for years, and then he gets the money to buy the land sitting under it and up and donates it all for an arts center for the village. Oh, I can’t wait to buy him a drink.”
Megan took her hand. “What do you think, Angie? Just because he donated it doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.”
Liam set Ollie down. “That’s true, but if this is a cultural issue, let me clear it up. This is an act of love, cousin. A million times over.”
Her heart sped up. “It doesn’t—”
“It does,” Bets said, putting her hands on her hips. “Probably there’s an apology in it too. Look, I’ve been with Irishmen for the last three decades. Trust me. He’s all but telling everyone he messed up and wants you to stay in the grandest way possible.”
The speed of her heart must be the cause of the pain spreading inside her. “Why didn’t he tellme?”
“Because the news spread through the village faster than a fire,” a familiar voice said as he stepped through the open front door. “Are you well enough to walk with me, Yank? I thought we needed a proper direct talk.”
Her gaze lifted immediately to his eyes. They were back to ultramarine, and a hesitant love was shining in them. She stood up immediately at the sight and crossed to him.
“Told ya, cuz,” Liam said with a clever grin. “Way to go, Carrick. The guys and I are as relieved as we are happy for you. It was hard not to come by and kick your arse.”
His mouth tipped up. “Kade said I had to come to it on my own. As usual, he was right. Well, Yank. Are you fit enough for a short stroll? I have much to say to you, if you’ll listen.”
She nodded, hope and hurt rising within her, and he gestured to the door after grabbing her portable stool. They walked down the sidewalk, animated sounds following them from the cottage.
“Care to walk to your favorite spot with me?” Carrick asked, slowing his gait for her. “If we stay on the road, we’ll be mobbed by cars. I suspect the Lucky Charms, Donal, and my friends are on the way over. Probably more from the village too. The Irish love to party, as you know.”
“They certainly have something to party about.” They detoured to the pasture, the wind caressing them. “So you gave away your house.”
“I gave awaySorcha’shouse to the village to create an arts center where you can work and paint, if you’re willing to stay,” he said, opening the stool when they reached the sycamore tree. “But that’s not what I wanted to discuss with you.”
No, that wasn’t the crux of their problems, and they both knew it.
He helped her sit and lowered himself to the ground. “I don’t know if there’s an apology great enough for how I hurt you. Angie, I’m sorry I stepped back from you. I could try to explain what it did to me to see you fall like that. I could tell you how agonizing it was to go to that hospital again and smell death and see you there. To fear it might take you too.”
His words easily painted the scenes in her mind. She’d known, but hearing it from him only sharpened the picture. “Oh, Carrick.”
“But trying to account for my behavior doesn’t move us forward,” he said, plucking a blade of grass from the ground, “and that’s what I wish for with all my heart. Still, I’ll ask if you can ever forgive me.”
The hurt shimmered inside her, and then it seemed to rise out of her as if on the wings of butterflies. “How could I not forgive you? I knew you didn’t step away because you didn’t love me. Doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell though.”
He sighed and threw the blade of grass away, turning to her. “I’m sorry for that the most. It hurt me too, but I couldn’t seem to step around the fear with all those feelings fresh and looming like a specter in my mind. But it lessened, you see, and it felt different than last time. I knew you were alive. I knew you were lying in that cottage, and I ached for you. That kind of pain was agonizing too, especially knowing I’d caused it.”
Agonizing was a good way to describe it, and she held out her hand to him.
He clasped it, his blue eyes brightening. “When I heard you were leaving, it was the worst kind of lash. How was I to live knowing you were somewhere else, apart from me? Angie, I couldn’t bear that.”
She’d wondered how she was going to bear it too, and she’d cried herself to sleep.
“I love you too much to lose you,” he said, rising up on one knee before her, “and I’m hoping with a little time, you might give me a second chance to show you I can stand beside you—through anything that comes.Anything.”
The power of his promise as much as his direct gaze seemed to echo in her very bones.
“I’m not a perfect man. I might even be an emotionally scarred one, although I’ll never step away from you again if I have a bad moment. No,mo ghrá, I’ll grab you to me and hold you until it passes.”
