Page 18 of Beside Golden Irish Fields
His dead wife appeared in the doorway, arms crossed, as if waiting to hear his answer.
“It’s like I told her earlier before she called the wind and blew the gate wide open to stir up the sheep,” he said, giving Sorcha a look. “I’m not doinganything. The Yank—”
“Angie.”
“Is Bets’ cousin and off-limits. I plan to ignore her. From the way she tried to raise up the window in the car just after we met, she seems to be of the same mind.” As he’d seen to his sheep this afternoon, he’d found himself laughing at the memory of the sisters grappling over the window.
“You can’t ignore her, Carrick.” Jamie put his hands on the wooden table as if he were explaining a difficult math problem to a slow student. “First off, she’s Bets’ relation. That would be rude and unlike you. Everyone in the village would think you two either had a tiff or like each other.”
He growled. “Everyone needs to mind their own goddamn business.”
“Plus, Mum would kill you.” Jamie’s mouth twitched. “Angie will be her painting teacher, and she’s hot to trot about finding a creative hobby now that she’s retired.”
“Why can’t she take up one of Siobhan’s dozens of hobbies?”
“How the hell should I know what goes through Mum’s head? Dad suggested she take up golf to spend time with him on the weekends when he’s not at the shop. Do you know what she said?”
“I can imagine,” Carrick said with a smile. His parents had a colorful way of communicating.
“She didn’t care to spend an entire day hitting a man’sballsfor entertainment.” Jamie crossed his hands over his man parts. “Imagine that! Dad said he’d never invite her again.”
“Good for Dad. Back to the Yank. If I can’t ignore her, I’ll just have to treat her like a sister.”
There was a long pause, and then they both started laughing. God, it felt good.
“A sister,” his brother said, dragging his chair closer and whacking him on the shoulder. “That’s a good one. And maybe angels will fly out of your arse.”
That old turn of phrase only propelled them into more laughter, and by the end, they were snorting and wiping tears. “I’ve always thought it would be uncomfortable, having an angel fly out of my arse. God, help us, Jamie. Then I guess I’ll have to have a word with her. Tell her I like her, but she’s Bets’ cousin and all that. Be direct with her.”
“Yanksaredirect,” Jamie said cautiously, casting a look toward the kitchen.
“She’s not there anymore,” Carrick said, saddened he felt some relief at her absence. Seeing her was like having salt ground into a wound. It made him finally face the truth—what they’d had was gone forever. As he’d walked the fields with the sun shining on his back today, he’d admitted that to himself.
Even so, he intended to finish the house. He was already in so deep, and besides, he could use a newer, bigger home. He was tired of killing spiders in this tiny cottage wrecked with the damp. Dammit if he wouldn’t enjoy a subzero refrigerator himself. He knew the village was laughing at him, but by God, Fitzgerald’s Folly was going to be the best house in the area when he was done with it.
Jamie still scanned the room. “I expect Sorcha will be back if she’s thinking Angie might be the one for you, right?”
“Probably.” He hung his head, feeling the weight of his emotions. “It was hard to see her. Talk to her. Smell her. God, even the glare she gave me grabbed my heart and made it swell in my chest. But she’s gone, Jamie. I can’t touch her. I can’t lie with her. She’s only here to resolve her own guilt about dying on me. I realized that today.”
Jamie’s hand fell on his shoulder, a comforting weight. “She wants you to find love again. Have a family. We all do, Carrick. Maybe it’s a blessing that you’ve accepted what you had with her is gone.”
He could never look at it so. “It’s merely a fact, one I’d be stupid to fight against. But I’m not changing my vow about never loving another woman. Jamie, I told you when she died that I wouldn’t go through that kind of pain again.”
“Even if you could have decades of happiness with someone else?” Jamie asked, studying him.
“This is old territory, and my answer remains the same. No person should ever have to grieve like that but once. Even Mum, in all her wisdom, doesn’t understand. She and Dad have had each other for decades.”
Jamie’s heartfelt sigh filled the room and he patted Carrick’s shoulder before removing his hand. “I can’t say I understand either, not having loved a woman like that yet. If you’re certain you won’t change your mind, I think you’re right to talk to Angie. Be clear about things.”
Another loud crash sounded in the kitchen. Jamie cried out, and Carrick tensed as Sorcha materialized next to his chair.
“I smell oranges,” Jamie said, looking pale again. “Is she back?”
“I am,” Sorcha said even though his brother couldn’t hear her. “You tell your brother I will haunt him to his dying day unless he helps you find love again.”
He narrowed his eyes at her before turning to Jamie. “Sorcha says you look well, but you should pick up my bar tab more often at the pub.”
“She did not!” Jamie said at the same time Sorcha crossed her arms, her eyes flat.
