Page 113 of Beside Golden Irish Fields
Megan remained in the room. She stood at the end of the bed, in fact. Angie wanted to close her eyes, but she waited to see if her sister would say something.
“I think you should fight for what you want,” Megan said. “Don’t run away from this place. Angie, you’ve never been happier.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she closed them so her sister wouldn’t see them. But one leaked out anyway, damn it, trailing down her cheek. “I’m not running away. I’m being practical.”
“You could paint here,” Megan said. “Ollie would miss you.”
Oh, God. More tears leaked. “I would miss him too.”
“And so would I,” Megan said softly.
She had to look at her sister then. Tears were streaming down Megan’s face too.
“I’m sorry, Angie.” Her fisted hand rose to her chest. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since I moved to the other cottage, and I’ve watched you and the people around me. I’ve even read a few books Liam gave me on grief and starting over.”
Liam, the wandering philosopher. “That’s good, Meg. That’s really good.”
She nodded. “You can’t solve things only by reading books. I realize that. And I want to thank you for taking care of me and Ollie like you did. I know I was depressed before and that we fell into our old pattern, but that’s no excuse.”
How long had she hoped for Megan to say such things? “I’m sorry too, Megan. For everything.”
Her sister was quiet a moment, and then she nodded. “I only wanted you to know that I plan to take care of me and Ollie, even if it’s scary and even if I don’t always know what to do.”
“Who does?” Angie said, feeling a breakthrough with her sister. “I don’t. I mean, I was on top of the world, and I literally fell off.”
“Not funny,” her sister said, crossing her arms.
“It is.” Angie’s mouth started to tip up on the right, and she pointed to it. “See, even though my head and heart hurt like hell, I’m starting to smile. Shit, Meg, life can be so hard, but there’s so much beauty in it too. I’m glad I experienced the beautiful part again here. I’ll always be grateful for it. But staying here would be too hard now. There has to be another beautiful place for me. Maybe Baltimore isn’t right anymore. Maybe I should go to Florence or Provence and paint again. I was happy there. I can leave when the doctor gives me the go-ahead to travel.”
That would give her enough time to put things in order. Oh, it was going to be hard to go. She’d fallen in love with the people—one literally—as much as the land. How she would miss the light and her spot in the mornings. Yet it wasn’t her spot anymore, not next to Carrick’s sheep or the view of his house. Her heart would be crying if she sat there.
Megan looked down. “You need to do what’s best for you, and since we’re done telling each other what that is, I won’t say any more on the subject. It seems better that way, doesn’t it?”
The pain in her head was easing. Smiling and honesty were good for the soul. “Yes, it does, although it’s hard to say and do after years of ingrained habit.”
“Habits keep us in chains,” Megan said flatly. “I read that…somewhere.”
“I like it.” She liked hearing her sister talk like this, in fact. “You’ll have to tell me what else you’ve discovered.”
Megan coughed and held up a finger. “This one seems to stick in my throat. I loved Tyson, but I wasn’t very happy with him. I told you that once and regretted ever saying it, especially after he died.”
Angie shifted on the pillows, wanting to sit up for this.
“You were right,” she said, the golds in her brown eyes growing brighter. “He…wasn’t home much for me or for Ollie, and when he was, he was out catching up with his buddies. He cared more about soldiering. He took us…for granted. That’s not easy to say. I see how Liam and Kade are with us—Ollie especially. They always have time for us. They always ask about us. And they always seem to be there when we need them. I even think they like me—us.”
Angie coughed again, tears filling her eyes.Oh, Megan.
“It’s like you said about your relationships. All the trying… Itriedto be a better wife and a better mother so he’d—”
“Love you and stay?” she asked when her sister broke off again.
“Stay home more, anyway, because that would mean he loved us more.” Megan nodded. “Our issues with Mom and Dad cast long shadows, don’t they?”
Angie held out her hand to her sister. Megan’s gray color seemed to change before her very eyes, turning a bright porcelain pink. “We were living out Mom and Dad’s relationship,” she said, “and ours with them. I mean, I love them, but I don’t want to keep falling into the same rut. That’s one thing I’ll be grateful to Carrick for—even though losing him hurts like hell. He showed me that I didn’t have to do anything for him to love me.”
Her voice broke. He had loved her. So much.
“Well, that’s not true,” she finally continued. “Apparently falling down and getting hurt was a deal breaker. Bad joke.”
