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“Meg? Are you okay?”
“No.” Tears fall freely down my face, rolling over my lips.
“Did Dad tell you he was going to do this?” Brooke asks.
I shake my head even though she can’t see me.
“Do you want to come over?”
“No. I’ve got to go.”
I hang up, and that’s when the ugly cry comes out, the cry that’s so hard, it’s technically not safe for me to be behind the wheel of a car. I’m on autopilot, somehow making it back to my apartment. Once inside, I kick off my shoes and grab an entire roll of toilet paper—it’s a necessity for cries like this. I climb into my bed, settling in for the most pathetic and sorrowful cry since my mom died.
CHAPTER35
MEG
After the cry heard around the world, I pull up to the cemetery. I’m here for advice.
Too bad the person I’m seeking advice from is dead.
I stay in my car with my hands on the steering wheel and my foot on the break until I finally have the strength to get out.
I follow the pathway of grass to my mother’s grave, and I know instantly by the can of Diet Coke leaning against her tombstone that my dad’s been here. Did he come with Anna Mae? My heart hurts just thinking about it.
I bend down so I’m eye level with my mom’s picture. Her brown eyes stare back at me.
I miss her.
So much has changed since she’s been gone.
Zak broke up with me.
I met Tyler.
My dad met Anna Mae.
Now he’s getting married.
“Mom,” I whisper. “Why is it so hard?” Warm tears trickle down my cheeks. “Do you want this? Do you want Dad to marry her?” I exhale, looking up at the blue sky. “I know you want him to be happy, but surely this isn’t the way. It’s too soon.” More tears fall. “And I don’t want a new mom. I want you. Why did you leave me? I need you to tell me what to do with my life. You said to marry Zak, and now I can’t even do that. What am I supposed to do?”
I sob into my hands for a few minutes, letting out all my heartache, until I finally catch my breath enough to pull myself together.
A car pulls up next to mine, and I quickly wipe my hands over my tears. I hear a car door slam, then someone is walking my way. I shift to stand so I can leave. Company of any kind isn’t what I had in mind for my visit today.
“Meg? Is that you?”
Diane Carter, of all people, is coming toward me. She has a big thing of balloons in her hand.
“I didn’t realize your mother’s grave and Kristen’s were so close together.”
“I didn’t either.” I watch Diane walk to a grave a row ahead and maybe ten feet away from my mother’s.
“It’s Kristen’s birthday today.”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
Todayis Kristen Dixon’s birthday? I kissed her husband last night. I was at her house this morning. Her son asked me to be his mother instead of her.
