Page 97 of Vivacity
She floors me. No judgement. No lashing out. Of the two of us, I’ve messed up far, far worse than Jamie today. And while I couldn’t find an ounce of compassion for him, here is Soph holding it for me.
I don’t deserve it.
‘Thanks.’ I can barely get the words out.
‘Hey, I’m switching to video. Okay?’
I hold the phone in front of me and watch as it connects. There she is. She looks like she sounds—tinkly and glamorous and flushed and gorgeous. I smile, despite myself, but her huge eyes shine with sympathy.
‘You wanna tell me what happened?’
I sigh and fill her in tersely. Jamie’s excitement. The successful build. His split-second error. And my disgraceful reaction. ‘I did exactly what my dad used to do to me,’ I say. ‘I made him feel like making a mistake was unforgivable. I was so fucking cold.’
Her lovely mouth twists in sympathy. ‘All those bodyguards really came out to play, huh?’
‘Exactly. But honestly, even saying that feels like a cop-out. I can’t blame some “parts”. It’smewho’s the problem. He called me a psycho, and honestly, I can’t blame him. I’m exactly like my fucking father.’
‘You’re exactly the opposite, and here’s why.’ She points a finger at the screen, and I see the ring stack I gave her sparkle. ‘You think your father has wasted a moment on self-recrimination? Has he fuck. For a man like that, everyone else is the problem. You, on the other hand, have stepped up. You’re doing the hard work. You’re trying. You’re only human, and let me tell you, babe, that until you learn to show yourself some compassion, you’re not going to find it easy to extend compassion to anyone else.’
I suspect her words have a grain of truth to them, but like I said, I’m not in the mood for anything like self-compassion. Not even slightly. I push myself off my bed and walk to the window, looking out at the quiet serenity of my street. Everyone is behindclosed doors, celebrating with their families. It’s not until I look down at my own driveway that I realise the front gates are open.
‘That’s odd.’
‘What?’
I glance back at the screen. ‘The gates are open outside. I closed them after Elena pulled her car out.’
She frowns. ‘Could Jamie have gone out?’
‘Nah. I would have heard him. Hang on.’
I open my bedroom door and pad to the other end of the hallway. His door is wide open, as is the door to his ensuite across the room.
‘Jamie?’
No answer. I shout it again. Phone in hand, I sprint downstairs and work my way through the ground floor. ‘Still nothing,’ I tell Soph.
‘Could he be in the basement?’
‘Yeah. Maybe.’
I head down to the obscene basement we had dug out a few years ago, when we bought this place. The home cinema is empty. Same for the games room. The door to the garage is ajar, and I walk through, where I stop dead between the Defender and the Aston.
The icy wall of fear that hits me almost steals the breath from my lungs. I feel like I’ve been winded. In shock, I turn to Soph.
‘The Tesla’s gone.’
CHAPTER 43
Ethan
‘What?Fuck.’ She looks as stunned as I feel.
‘It’s just—gone.’ I stand rooted to the spot, looking stupidly around the garage as if it’ll materialise.
‘D’you think he—how would he…’ Her voice trails off. ‘Can he even drive? He’s fourteen!’
‘He knows how to turn it on and get it in gear.’ Realisation hits me. ‘Oh my god.’
