Page 52 of Vivacity
Sophia is magnificent, and I don’t just mean her looks, although tonight she’s hard to look away from. Amid the group of undeniably stunning women, several of whom I’ve been intimate with, she stands out. Her dark hair is sleek and straight tonight in a long ponytail that only enhances the beauty of her face. She’s wearing an emerald green silky dress that, from what I can see, has an alarming plunge at the front and is completely backless. It barely contains her curves, and I absolutely hate to think that she’s chosen to wear it to this place for that particular reason.
No, she’s magnificent because of the power of her self-belief, of her emotional fortitude. She would absolutely have been entitled to crumble earlier. She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met: the most enthralling mix of femininity and strength and compassion while taking no prisoners. She makes being well-adjusted look easy, and it’s about time I stopped fucking around and taking her for granted.
It’s time I started investing in her wellbeing beyond mere orgasms.
Which is why, when she and a few of her glamorous friends head for The Playroom’s double doors, turning every head in the place as they do, I call out her name from my perch at the bar.
‘Sophia. Wait.Please.’
Her hands areon her hips, showing every spectacular curve off to perfection, and her dark eyes are flashing with irritation and, I suspect, the anticipation of tearing me a new one, and god is she a vision. I take her in, the vibrant green silky fabric hanging loose around her neck and framing a sliver of the underside of each breast before plunging almost to her navel.
Now that she’s right in front of me, I can see that this dress is seriously easy access. A sideways swipe of the neckline would free a breast, or I could just reach behind her and yank the entire halter thingy over her head so the dress pooled around her waist, suspended only by the perfect curves of her hips.
She’s dressed to be naked in seconds, and it seriously pisses me off.
‘What the hell are you doing here, Ethan? What do you want? Because you must know you’re the last person I want to see this evening, and you could at least do me the courtesy of staying well away.’
‘I know.’ I dismount from my stool so we’re practically toe to toe. I stare down at her lovely pinky-red mouth for a moment before meeting her gaze again. ‘I came here to apologise in person for how I behaved earlier. It was completely unacceptable, and I couldn’t let it slide until Monday.’
‘Although respecting my wishes would have been a better way of acknowledging my need for some distance, don’t you think? Because I assume you have enough emotionalintelligence to understand that when I said I’d be givingyouspace, it was a tactful way of sayingIneeded space. Yet here you are.’
‘You’re right.’ I swallow. ‘I know you needed space from the prick I was earlier, but I was hoping… that if I, er, apologised, you might overlook the interruption.’
She narrows her eyes. ‘Go on, then.’
Apologising is hard for me. I’d like to think it’s less because I’m a dick—at least, not completely—and more because it involves vulnerability. And while Sophia seems to think I’m totally lacking in self-awareness, I know enough about myself to know that being vulnerable, in any form, makes me nervous. Splaying yourself open, admitting wrongdoing, putting yourself in the hands of someone else’s mercy—all these are things that make me deeply uncomfortable.
That said, all these things are less terrifying than the alternative, which is alienating Sophia. I’ve fucked up every major relationship in my life, and I’m not about to make the same mistake quite so quickly. She may irritate the hell out of me with her lack of basic respect and unwelcome psychoanalysis and generally unwarranted levels of vivacity, but I’m man enough to admit that she’s good for me.
Besides, the sexual chemistry between us is like nothing on earth, and I’d be an idiot to sabotage that.
I put a palm on each of her upper arms and gaze down at her. Her skin is so warm and soft. She hasn’t said I can touch her, but I’m hoping she’ll understand that it’s part of how intentional, how genuine, I want to make this apology. I hope she can see the sincerity on my face, too, and hear it in my voice.
‘Sophia. I am truly sorry for the disgraceful things I said to you earlier. I was pissed off, and I took it out on you. Not only were they incredibly disrespectful, but they were patently untrue.’ Her mouth stays in a thin, unimpressed line. I clearmy throat and push on. ‘The way you own your sexuality is one of my favourite things about you, and I suppose I’ve been the main beneficiary recently. I know I can be… difficult, but I genuinely thought that was one area where I was getting it right, so it doesn’t exactly feel great to know that you’re coming here in search of other guys. On the contrary, it feels pretty shite, actually.
‘But that’s on me, not you. We have a contractual relationship, and I need to remember that you’re a free agent. You’re not my girlfriend.’ The word sounds fantastical to my own ears. ‘I shouldn’t have taken my bad mood out on you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am if I made you feel in any way lacking because I couldn’t handle my own issues.’
She says nothing, but her face softens into a small smile.
‘Say something. Please.’
She blows out a breath. ‘Wow. It’s very, very good for me that you’re not this sweet and introspective most of the time.’
I frown. I have no idea what she means. I’d have thought she’d far prefer it if I was rational and respectful instead of volatile and controlling and emotionally inadequate. ‘How so?’
‘Never you mind. But thank you. As far as apologies go, that was a pretty good one.’
I nod my acknowledgment a little awkwardly. I’m not used to getting it right with anyone I’m close to—not Jamie, not Elena, not my father, and certainly not my EAs. ‘So you’re, um, going next door?’
‘I am.’ Her tone is somewhat defiant. She’s expecting me to throw my toys again.
‘All right. Anything in particular you’re looking for in there?’
She shakes her head as if she knows my game and has no intention of being tricked into disclosure. ‘I don’t know yet. I’ve never been in there. I assume you have, if you’ve managed to get in here?’
I incline my head. ‘Brendan proposed me over the summer during my dry spell. It’s… effective.’
That gets me a smile. ‘I see. So of the two of us, it’s you who’s the pro tonight. Who’d have thought? Any recommendations?’
