Page 94 of Vivacity
‘Agreed.’ God, there were Christmases when Jamie woke us in the dead of night, such was his level of hysteria over Father Christmas having been. Today, he’s a world-weary fourteen-year-old with no reason to get out of bed. It’s convenient, and helpful for Elena’s sleep quota, but there’s something sad about it, too.
‘The main event was here,’ she says. ‘He’s been asking me all day if it’s time to come over yet.’
The flush of pleasure is instant, even if I’m only too aware that the attraction is notme.
‘In that case, let’s not keep the man waiting.’
I pour Elena a small glass of red and grab a can of Jamie’s favourite brand of lemonade from the fridge. Elena and I perch on the sofa next to the tree while Jamie collapses on the rug. It seems odd that my ex-wife and I aren’t exchanging gifts. All those years of lavishing her with expensive presents in desperate attempts to make her feel seen and valued and even cherished—all the things that my issues caused her to doubt.
Not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for the myriad ways in which I’ve hurt the people I love.
I thought about getting her something, of course, but ultimately decided against it. It would only have embarrassed her, or worse, upset her.
I clear my throat. ‘Alright, mister. Show us what all these mysterious components are, then.’
I have to say, I’ve been impressed with the way Jamie pitched this entire project to us. Elena and I have always been very stricton gift budgets. We don’t ever want our son to have a false perspective on the value of money. So when he presented me with an Amazon gift list of components that ran to four figures, my first reaction washell, no.
But Jamie surprised me with his ability to argue the concept: he’d need an extremely powerful computer for his Computer Science and Design Technology studies. This way, he argued, we’d take the pain of a hefty initial outlay but could replace the individual parts at will at a fraction of the cost. The environmental benefits weren’t lost on me, either. And here we are.
He makes rapid work of tearing the paper off parcels ranging from the huge glass case that will house the entire machine to a tiny package containing the thermal paste and brushes. I hope he knows how to use all this stuff, because I haven’t a bloody clue. His genuineoohsof happiness are all I need to hear, though.
‘I’ll be off, then,’ Elena says, getting to her feet after he’s laid out his unwrapped gifts in a reverent array. ‘It looks terrifying!’
I see her to the door once she’s done hugging Jamie. She’s heading to Paris first thing tomorrow to see her parents. ‘We’ll see you in a few days.’
‘Have fun.’ She kisses me on the cheek. ‘Rather you than me.’
I laugh drily. ‘You’re not wrong.’
‘Seriously. I think it’ll be good for you two.’ And with a brisk little nod, she’s gone.
We turnthe kitchen island into PC Build HQ, unpacking every single component from its layers of protective packaging. For the next three hours, I find myself astonished as my fourteen-year-old son proceeds to put together a powerful computer with calm proficiency. It’s truly staggering.
‘I don’t get how you know how to do this,’ I tell him as I watch him apply thermal paste painstakingly.
‘I watched a lot of videos.’ His gaze remains steadfastly fixed on the job at hand. His attention to detail is really something.
‘What’s that for?’
‘You need it as a layer between the CPU and the CPU cooler. But if I don’t do it right it could overheat, so this was the bit I was most nervous about.’
‘Well, you’re doing a great job. Seriously, mate, I’m so impressed. This is incredible to see. You’ve obviously done your research.’
He halts his painting and glances up at me, a pleased grin on his lovely little face, and I feel as though my heart could burst through my chest with the amount of love I feel for my kid. Who knew that he would grow into this particular human being, with this personality and these interests? All I know is that my most important job as a parent is to encourage this, to give him the support and the agency he needs to pursue the dreams that make himhim.
When the machine has been fully assembled inside its glass box, aside from the front panel, Jamie looks over at me, his face alight. ‘It’s ready.’
I give him a huge grin. ‘Time for the moment of truth?’
‘Yeah.’ He grimaces and nervously plugs the computer into the socket on the island. ‘I’m really scared.’
‘I know. But it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work first time. We can tinker until it does, okay?’
‘Okay.’
Frankly, it would be a miracle if this random selection of components turned on, but who am I to predict the outcome?
He presses the power switch on the side of the machine. There’s a taut moment of silence, and then the damn thing whirrs, springing to life. The fans light up and start spinning in multicolour.
