Page 46 of Any Girl But You
Wait, what?One simple word, delivered with a smile. Said so quickly, no hesitation, like she expected it. Did she even hear me? Does she understand exactly what I’m talking about?
“Yes?” I croak, searching her eyes behind the misted glasses, the curve of her lips, the way she inches closer to me. “On which part? I just threw a lot at you, like a ton, and I want to make sure we are clear so there’s no miscommunication?—”
Her mitted gloves cup my cheeks, the soft wool fibers tickle my skin, and she pushes her lips into mine. Gentle at first, a pillowy soft kiss, but enough where my knees nearly give in. “Yes.” Her gaze pins me before she presses her mouth back onto mine, a little stronger, a little longer. Her kiss is like warm brown sugar on a chilly day, and I’m officially melting. “Yes to everything.”
Yes?Like yes, yes? This is too easy. My heart has officially left my body and is moving into some dreamlike winter wonderland. I’m in a snow globe that a toddler is shaking, and everything feels scattered and surreal. Her smile reaches her eyes, her lips curve up. I blink. Is this real? “Um, I don’t want to question this, but I’m questioning this. This all seemed too smooth, and traditionally, you know, things in my life are not smooth.”
Zoey steps back with a soft grin. “Were you hoping for resistance?”
For the last hour as I paced outside of her loft, I had visions of how we’d play out this conversation. I imagined she’d run into my arms and just say yes. I replayed it over and over in my mind. But I didn’t really think it would happen just like it did. Maybe I’m in some sort of lucid dream and any moment now I’m going to be nudged awake. “No, I mean, of course not. I just… What’s happening here? How is this just so easy?”
Zoey’s eyes dash between mine. “I left Josie at the restaurant to come find you,” she says with a soft voice. “I called you. I texted you, too.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I knew I’d break if I talked to you on the phone, and I wanted to tell you this in person.” I tug on the edges of Zoey’s scarf, and she tiptoes near me. “Why did you leave Josie?”
Zoey looks down, the redness in her cheeks getting stronger. “I needed to find you. I wanted to see ifyou’dtake a chance onme.”
My heart leaps and locks in my chest.Shewanted to know ifI’dtake a chance onher? A million times over, yes. The snow, the stars, the moon, everything is in alignment. Zoey and I want the same thing, feel the same thing. There is no misunderstanding. Nothing has ever felt so right. I pull her into me, kiss her, harder this time, breathing in her vanilla and honeysuckle scent. Hands wrap around my waist, dragging my body into hers. Snow falls between our lips, on our hair, combating the warmth I feel with a burst of chill.
Zoey pulls back, and gives me a look I’ve never seen before. A switch has flipped. A devilish, glorious gleam in her eyes, a hike in her eyebrows, and a long, leisurely gaze runs from my toes to my mouth to my eyes. “Upstairs?”
Oh God, it’s happening.It’s. Happening.
I grab her hand. “Upstairs.”
TWENTY-THREE
QUINN
Adrenaline courses through my veins as I rush upstairs with Zoey. Once inside her loft, she rips off her mittens and tosses them against the wall, kissing me, shrugging off her jacket, tugging off mine. She tosses her glasses on the table while I kick off my shoes, stumbling, my heart racing.This is actually happening.Zoey’slips are so soft and delicious, but firm. She slides her tongue over me, her breaths heavy, her hands gripping me. She’s kissing me like she’s starving, like she’s been waiting years.
My jacket knocks over something with a loud thump when I toss it, but we don’t stop. I want more. I want to canvass her body with my fingers and breathe her in and taste her skin. God, she smells so good, tastes so good, and the need to be closer to her intensifies. Shallow pants leave my mouth. My pulse pounds in my chest, a steady thud that grows stronger, more intense, more desperate. I cup her cheeks, fist her hair, inhale everything about her. Just from the kisses, the foreign emotions, I feel myself slowly come undone. I’m not going to last more than a few minutes.
Zoey spins me around and presses my back against the wall, and… Holy hell, who is this person? She leans back andmeets my gaze. Her clean, crisp blue eyes have darkened, and something nearly feral has taken over. The sweetness is gone. She looks like she wants to devour me. Her hands glide down my side and tug up my shirt. My heart pounds against my rib cage. Fingertips swipe against the skin at my belly, and goosebumps fly up my arms.
I hold her tight, pull her into me, needing her closer. Her body is so warm, so open, so ready. She moans against my ear, dragging her lips across my neck, kissing the slope below my ear. Her mouth doesn’t leave mine, hardly at all. A bolt of electricity rushes through me, a current that is firing all my cells, springing me to life. Her lips are so full and strong, her tongue moves against me, owns my mouth and… What does this all mean? Is this it? Is this what people talk about when they have so many feelings, and being with someone special, and emotions, and—Shit.
I pull back.
Immediately, she stops. Her lips are red, swollen, wet with kisses. Heavy breaths heave against her chest and her gaze dashes across mine. “Oh, gosh, okay, oh yikes. Sorry, I just, with our conversation, I thought… Oh no… Are we good?”
I drag my hands down my face. What is my problem? This is the type of sex that I love, that I crave. Hot, fiery. The kind where everything inside me burns to the point where I need to unleash, and now, I’m literally frozen. “Yes, we’re totally good.” I drop my hands from her waist and pull in a few calming breaths. Zoey steps back with a crease forming between her brows.
“Did I do something wrong?” Zoey asks, her eyes growing wide.
I grab her hands and swipe my thumb against the smooth skin. “No, no, of course not. You’re…perfect.” Words choke at my throat. “I’m so totally up in my head right now. I’m sorry.”
Leaning against the wall, I release her hands and calm my breaths. Never once since I was sixteen and first had sex has something like this ever happened. I’ve never stopped midway because of nerves.Nerves, for God’s sake. This is my realm. With sex, I’m like on a mission control operation. There is a goal. Make the woman orgasm, get myself off, clean up, and go home. It’s what I do, and I’m a master at it. I don’t think, I do. And now, I’m thinking. A lot. Too much.
“Quinn? Talk to me.” Zoey lays a hand on my shoulder and dips her head to meet my gaze. “We don’t have to do this. Really. It’s totally okay.”
Ugh. I want to do this, so bad. My legs are practically quivering already from her kisses alone. I picture her, us, more than the bedroom, more than this moment. A future. A low pinch starts in my chest. “No, no. Iwantto do this. Like so bad I can hardly stand it. Zoey, you are incredible. So kind, so thoughtful, so fucking beautiful.” My words are failing me. But I need her to understand, and I can’t explain it properly. “I do this. Like all the time. This is who I am. But until you…”
Zoey takes a hesitant step back. “Until me, what?”
Trembles overtake my body. I exhale, heavy, through my nose, and try to push past them. “Until you, it felt different. It wasn’tthis…and I’m so scared forthis.” My body and brain begin to splinter. An ache to touch Zoey, to taste her, to feel what she feels like pressed against me, fights against this brick wall in my heart and I don’t know how to reconcile them. I don’t know how to sleep with my best friend and kiss her and feel the satiny smoothness of her skin, while still having all her other parts—the one I want to call at night, the one I want to watch movies with, laugh with, dance on empty dance floors with. How do I combine all the parts I love about her with all the parts I crave?
“You’re shaking,” she says softly. “Come on, let’s sit on the couch.”
