Page 15 of Enchantment of Silver and Sea
“Since we’re not heading out intothatanytime soon,” Brielle said abruptly, gesturing to the rain. It was coming down so hard now that in the gardens, only the first row of raised beds was visible. “I’m going to run to the restroom. Be right back.”
She touched my arm as she walked away. A touch that conveyed that she didn’t have to go to the bathroom that badly. Or at all.
I swallowed.
“So,” I said as Brielle’s footsteps echoed down the hallway. “Are you going to get in trouble for being late?”
“No, our Mentor will understand,” he said with a smile.
My stomach lurched.
I didn’t doubt his Mentor would understand. I didn’t doubt that he would show that almost fatherly understanding that would make Zander let his guard down. That made a person trust that no matter what, he would always have your back.
I wanted to scream at Zander that he was a fucking fool. The desire was so overpowering, so intense, that I felt my throat start to close.
Breathe.
Focus.
“What about you?” Zander asked, oblivious. “Will Cato expect you to wade through this torrential downpour?”
“No,” I managed to get out. I stretched my arms overhead, hoping the movement would disguise the true reason my voice was strained. “Cato will understand.”
“Cato’s a good guy.” Zander had stopped fidgeting with the umbrellas, but was now shifting his weight from foot to foot. “How are things going in the Library, anyway?”
He was reaching for something to talk about. And the fact that we were both aware of it made me feel on edge in an entirely different way. I pretended that I was a magical being and willed Brielle to hurry back.
“Things are fine. Just the usual stuff. Mostly just researching things for other departments.”
“Sounds interesting. I wish everyone could check out books from the Library whenever they wanted, like you hear about from the Pre-Awakening days. I’d love to be able to read more.”
I nodded sympathetically. I couldn’t imagine not being able to read all the books I wanted. But then again, my experiences were a little different, being a reformed rule follower. My memories of reading with Irene—always fiction, always a paperback that was tattered from overuse, and always something that was very muchnota Council-approved pamphlet—were some of my favorites.
If only she could see all the books that I had access to now.
“It really is a shame,” I said. “But I understand the thinking behind it. We have limited copies of each book and no way to replace them.”
“Right,” he agreed. “Not worth the risk.” He had become still for a moment. Somber. But he must have realized we had hit another dead end in our conversation because he started shifting his weight from foot to foot again.
A thought struck me.
“Zander,” I began. “Have you ever been Outside?”
He stilled again. Then he looked up at the ceiling, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. As if considering how to respond. After a moment, he said simply, “I have, yeah.”
“What was it like?” I knew I was pushing a boundary, almost fully crossing it, by asking this.
In Cyllene, the extent of our discussions about the world outside the walls was the conversations that Cato and I had as they related to research projects. It was an unspoken rule that you didn’t discuss Outside with fellow citizens, in case your speaking about it manifested some sort of connection between Inside and Outside into existence. A tether that would cause thehorrors out there to suddenly take interest in all of us in here and motivate them to disrupt our peaceful existence.
As anEnforcer, Irene had of course been required to go on supply runs Outside. And even in the quiet darkness of our bedroom, before we fell asleep, she wouldn’t share what happened there.
Discussing this was ratcheting my heart rate back up. But for some reason, I felt strangely motived to keep going.
Zander sighed through his nose. He turned away from the window to face me fully.
“It was like a jungle,” he began slowly. “Everything was overgrown. It felt very…alive. It’s hard to explain. We had to wear gas masks, which felt kind of silly because I don’t think magic is something you inhale. But then, what do I know? I guess there was some incident recently.”
TheEnforcerwho went mad after experiencing that wind-like phenomenon.
