Page 58 of The Retreat
Talia finally exhaled. ‘OK.’
Imogen looked up. ‘OK?’
‘OK as in… we’ll talk more. Later. When it’s not a thousand degrees and everyone I work with isn’t five feet away pretending to be zen.’
They turned to walk back.
As they walked, Imogen realised something. Flora hadn’t left her because she wasn’t enough. She’d left her because she was simply a person with a short attention span and no loyalty.
She’d felt like she wasn’t enough to hold on to Flora. And now she wasgladshe couldn’t. It would have been no kind of life. Sooner or later, she’d have walked into a room and found exactly what Talia had.
Imogen was free. Not of the love. It hadn’t been about that for a long time. It was the curse of inadequacy she was free of.
‘You OK?’ Talia asked.
Imogen looked at her, surprised. ‘Me?’
‘You look sad.’
‘Actually, I’m relieved. What about you?’
Talia shrugged. ‘I think I feel the same.’
‘But you knew what she was. You’ve known it a long time.’
‘I did and I didn’t…’ Talia stopped and looked away. ‘But…’
‘Tell me,’ Imogen said.
Talia looked at her. ‘I guess it’s nice not to hateyouanymore.’
Imogen was shocked. ‘You forgive me?’
Talia shrugged. ‘I think so.’
Imogen didn’t reach for her hand. That would have been crazy. They’d only just exorcised the ghost of Flora.
But Imogen thought about it. She thought about it a lot.
Thirty-Nine
Talia sat back down on the gingham blanket and tried to act like her entire emotional foundation hadn’t just been kicked in.
The sun was too bright. Across the lawn, someone had started an impromptu frisbee game that involved too much laughter and not nearly enough spatial awareness. Talia tracked the flight of the disc absently, her jaw clenched, smile fixed in place in case anyone glanced her way.
It had all seemed so clean. So simple.
Imogen was the villain. The interloper. The one who knew and did it anyway. Not the only villain in the story but a perfect target for Talia’s rage. Because otherwise? Otherwise, she’d have to admit she’d been tricked by Flora. And Talia didn’t want that. She didn’t want to think she’d been a fool. It was easier to believe Flora had just been weak, easily tempted.
But the truth was undeniable now. And that was what had stopped her from trying again all these years, wasn’t it? That was the fear she had been trying not to look in the eye. How could she be sucked in by someone so fucking cold? How could she love a person like that so deeply? Was shebroken?
Imogen sat beside her again, quiet now. Heavy with the same sadness Talia felt. She poked at a half-melted wedge of brie and then sighed.
Talia took a sip of her drink and tried to swallow the lump in her throat with it.
It had been self-deception, this hatred of Imogen. A story Talia told herself to make things easier. But she couldn’t cling to it anymore. Not after the look on Imogen’s face when she said,‘I wouldn’t have touched her if I’d known.’
Because Talia believed her.
