Page 52 of Best Served Hot
Nicole couldn’t help but zero in on the word, ‘kiss.’ It made the back of her neck feel hot. She tried to ignore it. ‘I don’t know about that. I think if we give him a few days to cool down, maybe I could talk to him. One-on-one. Fix it.’
Alex smiled and sipped her drink. ‘That’s a kind offer, but I don’t think I want to talk about him anymore.’
Nicole licked her lips. ‘No?’
‘No. I was kind of wondering if we should maybe…’ Alex took a pause that just about gave Nicole a heart attack. ‘…Stop talking.’
‘Oh,’ Nicole said, trying to stay calm. ‘Right. Sure.’ Then something occurred to her. ‘Wait, does that mean you want me to leave?’
Alex burst out laughing. ‘No. It most certainly doesnotmean that, Nicole.’
Nicole had to roll her eyes at herself. ‘I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be coy or anything. But this whole thing has been a lot to process in the middle of another massive thing that was a lot to process. So I think my processors might have been overworked a bit. They might have switched off completely, in fact.’
Alex smiled at her. It was a world-class smile. It would be the death of Nicole, but she didn’t mind. What a way to go.
‘Well, I mean, we kind of did talk about it,’ Alex said. ‘I realise it wasn’t the best time. But I wanted to… Reiterate some stuff.’ Alex stopped, annoyed. ‘Did I just say that? Look out, Mr Darcy, there’s a new queen of romantic speeches.’
Nicole grinned at her, absolutely won over. ‘Please, keep talking. I like everything you’ve said so far.’ She meant that.
Alex had started to look a little nervous right now, which was of great comfort. Despite the fact Nicole was older, Alex felt like the worldly one. Only Alex was fretting, and that was nice to see. Alex didn’t know everything, and she wasn’t taking anything for granted.
Alex took a deep, anxious breath, trying again. ‘This whole thing with Ethan, I just want you to know, it’s not the end of the world if he puts paid to things for me. There are better places for my focus. There’s more to life than a career.’ She paused. ‘I mean you. If that’s not clear.’
Nicole’s heart fluttered. ‘And you heard what I said to Ethan about him not mattering now I’ve met you, so I think you know howIfeel.’ Nicole took her own deep breath. ‘So. My marriage is over… We know how we both feel, and here we are. Alone.’
‘Yeah. No one’s gonna walk in. Not this time,’ Alex said quietly.
They looked at each other, and Nicole felt a flush of fear. She saw it reflected in Alex’s eyes. She wondered who was going to make the first move. She was frozen in uncertainty. She was overthinking this. She didn’t know how to stop. She didn’t know what to do. She was officially panicking.
She’d forgotten this. It was the same story as ever. Funny how it slipped her mind. Every time she got close like this to a woman, the fear kicked in. It wasn’t like this with men. They just pushed through. They went for it. Whatever else it was, it was simple, at least.
Ethan had certainly pushed through, rolling right over her doubts and fears. Alex wasn’t gonna push through anything. That was what scared Nicole. This was her decision. But it wasn’t that she didn’t know what she wanted. Oh boy, did sheknow.
So why wasn’t Nicole pulling the trigger? Well, her instincts had been off for a lot of years, and even if she was getting back in touch with them, she was frightened to make yet another mistake. She didn’t want to make Alex that mistake.
‘Nicole, you look a little…’
‘What?’
‘You kind of look like you’re changing your mind right now,’ Alex said. ‘And that’s OK,’ she added quickly. ‘I mean, we’re not betrothed. I don’t expect anything.’
Nicole sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I guess this whole business has me doubting myself more than I realised. I’ve made some bad choices in the past.’
‘Oh Christ, Nicole,’ Alex said sadly. ‘You got conned, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, that’s the problem. I wasableto be conned… For years. It makes you doubt yourself. Your impulses.’
Alex didn’t say anything to that. She just nodded and looked down. God damn, Nicole was blowing this. Alex was a good thing, and Nicole couldn’t get over herself enough to let that good thing happen to her.
‘I’m sorry, I’m a mess,’ she told Alex. ‘I want to kiss you right now, but…’ She stopped and sighed, afraid of how Alex would react to her messiness.
But Alex just smiled that lovely smile. ‘It’s been a long day. A long couple of weeks, actually.’ She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously. ‘And I’m not in a hurry. I’ll wait as long as it takes.’
Nicole frowned. ‘You’re too wonderful. It’s almost a problem.’
Alex looked very surprised. ‘No,youare.’
Nicole looked away, overwhelmed. ‘I don’t know how to do this.’
