Page 38 of Best Served Hot
‘Oh Christ, who was it? Who’s been running their mouths?’ Alex demanded angrily. ‘Was it that runner? Bloody Lena?’
Nicole was taken aback. ‘No one said anything. I was just wondering… I didn’t realise this was such a hot… I’ll be quiet.’ She did the whole locking-her-lips-and-throwing-away-the-key mime bit and took a sip of her drink.
Alex stared into the depths of her drink for a moment and then sighed. ‘Sorry. It’s a bit of a story, and I don’t really like telling it.’
Nicole pointed at her locked lips.
Alex cracked a grin. ‘OK, you can unlock now.’
Nicole checked her pockets and shrugged like she’d lost the key.
‘For God’s sake, I’ll tell you what happened if you stop this mime act right now,’ Alex said, trying not to laugh.
Nicole ‘found’ the key in her breast pocket and unlocked it. ‘Whew. Good job I found that thing. I can’t breathe through my nose.’
Alex laughed. Nicole was quite surprised at how silly she was being. She didn’t usually do silly. She’d just wanted Alex to stop being angry with her. It was quite amazing how well it worked. A very nice surprise to find her own softer side for a second, too. She’d forgotten she had one, what with all the reeking vengeance of late.
Alex sighed. ‘So, I used to… I was a director. As you know. Went to film school, did a few shorts, got a BAFTA—’
Nicole blinked. ‘I beg your pardon. You got a what?’
Alex rolled her eyes with a level of embarrassment reserved for people who had publicly shit themselves. ‘It was a student BAFTA, OK?’
‘I didn’t know that! Why didn’t I know that?’ Nicole demanded.
‘Why would you?’
‘Because I’ve seen your LinkedIn. It’s not on there,’ Nicole said.
‘I keep forgetting you vetted me,’ Alex said. ‘It’s not on there because I’ve tried to delete that part of my career from the internet to the best of my ability.’ She sighed and rubbed her temples.
‘My intrigue is only growing,’ Nicole said.
Alex groaned. ‘I’m telling it, alright? So… I’m just out of film school, I’ve got my little award, and I get my first job. A gig for this indie band’s music video. They wanted a story-type video, inter-cut with the band playing whilst looking cool. The story is about a young woman, a teenager. And in one of the scenes, she…’ Alex paused. ‘She eats a nacho chip.’
‘And is that a crucial detail?’ Nicole asked, puzzled.
‘Let me get to it, will you?’ Alex said, exasperated.
Nicole had no idea where this story was going, and she wanted to know more than she wanted to know whether the Loch Ness monster existed, so she shut her trap.
After a moment, Alex resumed her tale reluctantly. ‘So the casting people give me an actress. She was young, but she’d had a couple of jobs though she wasn’t out of drama school yet, and she was quite pleased with herself, I guess. To the extent that she thought her opinion was the one that mattered. She was being a little shit that entire day and driving me nuts. She had an opinion on everything I said. Every. Bloody. Thing.’
Nicole felt a little PTSD rise up. ‘God, I hate those actors. I’ve had a lot of them. I don’t mind being challenged, but when it’s all day long, it wears you out. You can’t do your best work like that.’
‘Exactly,’ Alex said, warming slightly to the story. ‘She’s wearing me to the bloody nub. So we’re doing this scene where she’s eating the nacho. It’s the penultimate scene, and we’re running over. I’m going to have to make everyone work late, and I’m very aware of it.’
Nicole nodded. ‘That’s a fucker. Particularly when it’s avoidable.’
‘Right. So my nerves are shot to pieces, and I’m trying to remember that she’s a kid, this is a professional shoot, and I have vowed I willnotlose my temper. I’m not going to bethatdirector.’
Nicole smiled thinly. ‘Ah, yes. That director.’ It didn’t need to be described, though it could have been explained in one word.Arsehole.
Alex continued, and a little edge entered a voice. They were getting to whatever was painful about this. ‘But then she starts complaining about the chips. She doesn’t like the flavour. I asked her if she could just manage them anyway? It’s not a meal. She’s not meant to love them. Unless it’s rancid, I feel that she could just push through. But she’s asking if someone can go and get her favourite kind. I say no, we’re running late as it is. But she keeps whining about it. And then she says, “I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.”’
Alex took a deep, pained breath before she continued. ‘And that was it. That was the thing that pushed me over the edge. I started screaming at her, “JUST EAT THE FUCKING NACHOS SO WE CAN FINISH THE SHOOT!!” The whole set went silent. I shocked myself and the kid. But she tries to style it out, giving me the old, “Whatever,” and eats a nacho. Then she starts turning purple. She’s choking.’
‘Christ!’ Nicole exclaimed.
