Page 65 of All the Right Words
‘Sometimes sexual tension looks like that,’ Olivia defended. Gina simply stared at her until Olivia leaned back in her chair. ‘Yeah, I suppose that’s silly. I just wish I understood what happened.’
‘Yeah. It’s a stumper,’ Gina said, looking at Olivia’s desk, trying to fight a flash of memory that exploded in her mind. Her brain felt like it might explode with all the confusion and guilt coursing around her neurotransmitters. And she couldn’t show a bit of it, not in front of Olivia. Because Olivia was trying to pinpoint a villain of the piece, and Gina hadn’t crossed her mind. Probably because Olivia thought she was her ally, her friend. Gina wanted to vomit again. ‘I’m sorry, anyway. Really.’
Olivia chewed the inside of her mouth. ‘I’m sorry too.’
Gina frowned. ‘What areyousorry for?’
Olivia gave a nervous little laugh. ‘Well, you know how I promised you wouldn’t have to deal with Harper…’
Gina gave Olivia a stern look. ‘No. Olivia,no.’
‘I mean, it’s different now, isn’t it? It was awkward for you before, but now it’s all over; it’s only awkward forme, right?’ Olivia said sadly.
Olivia’s logic was a bit tough to argue with. She had been dumped, which made her the injured party in this scenario. Beyond any stress that Gina could now claim.
‘Gina, I just need you to take any meetings with her that she might request. And answer all her emails. And never pass her calls to me.’
Gina pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Jesus, Olivia. Isn’t that a bit… I mean, she’s our top author’s agent. We need her.’ She cleared her throat and added quickly, ‘Them. Brenda.’
‘It’s not forever. I just need to have this not be rubbed in my face for a bit. I need a chance to, I don’t know,healor something.’ She paused and looked away. ‘I feel so stupid, Gina. I thought she liked me too.’
Gina, as ever, couldn’t think of any way to argue with Olivia’s plea. ‘For fuck sakes,’ Gina said tiredly. ‘Alright.’
‘Gina, you’re the absolute best,’ Olivia said with relief. ‘I won the lottery getting you as my assistant.’
That made Gina feel even worse because she didn’t know exactly what had gone down last night, but she felt in her bones that she was mixed in with the problem. ‘It’s fine. I’ve got you.’
She went back to her office and sat down to an email from Harper, the devil herself. The sight of her name made electricity shoot down Gina’s legs.
Hey, I just wanted to check if you had any informal reviews from the bloggers, etc. She’s chomping at the bit this morning.
It was straight to the point. Practically cold. Harper probably blamed her for throwing a spanner in her and Olivia’s works. It had taken two to cha-cha, but Gina could understand that Harper might feel like Gina had been the ruinous succubus in the situation because that was how she felt. Like a sex maniac who had taken advantage of a problem and ruined a few lives in the process.
Gina wrote out a brief reply.Reading was well received. Everyone requested advance copies. She didn’t even sign it. She felt dizzy hitting send. She hated it. She hated all of this.
The worst thing was that she couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. No matter what destruction it had wrought, no matter how much guilt she felt, it would not stop playing like a gif in her head, round and round, catching more detail each time, enhancing little moments, touches, sounds, and smells. Gina couldn’t remember the last time someone had kissed her like that. Maybe they never had.
And now they were exchanging terse emails. It was baffling to Gina. She didn’t know how to work it out. She was utterly stuck. She couldn’t leave this limbo, and worse, she’d assisted in its construction.
She fully expected to spend the next few months until the book was released just this way. Both of them treating each other like strangers every time they had to interact. It was going to be pure hell.
***
And for a while, it was everything Gina feared. Emails went back and forth about the book’s progress, Brenda, interviews, and every last one was cold and terse.
Olivia never spoke of her, ever. Gina assumed she was hurting and let her have silence on the subject of Harper. Not that she was desperate to chat it up about her.
So it seemed for a time as though everyone was quietly trying to let things die down. Gina told herself that she was letting it go. Every one-line email was not remotely a bullet in her heart! She was doing great, moving on. Or, at the very least, moving sideways. Staying in place? Possibly. But staying in place was underrated. Staying in place meant not falling into oblivion. There was something to be said for that. Gina had forgotten that for a while before she’d gone and started having bloodyfeelings. But that was before she’d had a quick peek into the abyss and decided she was better off sealing it up and going emotionally numb.
Gina nearly had it, she thought some weeks later. She was waiting in the snow for the coldness to come, and it had to be just around the corner. Until the phone rang and she picked it up to hear Harper saying, ‘Gina. I’m sorry to bother you, but I need a favour.’
‘Harper?’ she asked, knowing who it was from the electric shock that had just run through her body.
‘Sorry, yes, it’s Harper,’ she said anxiously. ‘Umm, yeah, so, it’s… I’ve got this writer, and she’s about to lose her deal. She’s stopped replying to my phone calls, emails, texts, everything. I think she’s actually gone into hiding in her flat. And I think… I need you.’
Gina nearly dropped the phone.
Thirty-Eight
