Page 57 of All the Right Words
But Olivia was staring at the screen like she’d received word of a death. ‘You’re leaving?’ she asked, stunned.
Gina hadn’t quite expected this particular reaction. ‘Um, yeah. Sorry. I… I’m going. Yes.’
Olivia blew out a heavy sigh. ‘Why?’
Olivia knew nothing. Gina didn’t know if that was for the better or worse, but she rolled with it. ‘I just need to move on. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s my fault, isn’t it? I’ve been leaning on you too much.’
Gina sighed. ‘It’s… There’s a lot to this. It’s personal.’
‘Personal?’ Olivia asked suspiciously.
‘Yes. Being here has become too painful.’ Gina’s eyes strayed to Olivia’s desk, and she forced them to look back up at Olivia. ‘I landed this job in the middle of a rejection. I should never have taken it. I was a writer once, and I wanted that part of me to die. Being here was me trying to do that. But it’s made everything worse.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I thought I could forget what I wanted and settle for a different life. But I can’t. Being here, watching people do what they do, watching writers at work, books coming to life, it’s become some sort of sick penance for giving up on myself. I need to leave and go and do something else.’
‘You’re going to… What? Write again?
‘I don’t know. Maybe not,’ Gina said honestly. ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do. But I can’t do it here.’
‘For fucks sakes. I should have seen this coming. I’ve known enough writers. You can’t give it up, can you?’
‘I told you, I don’t know about that. Maybe I just need to stop being around writers. Maybe I’d feel more at peace with giving it up,’ Gina told her.
‘Gina, this is crazy. Please don’t leave. I can help you!’ Olivia exclaimed.
‘What do you mean?’ Gina frowned.
‘I think you’ve got it backwards. You shouldn’t leave. You just need to move forward. Move up. You could be an editor! Christ knows you’re good at working with the writers already.’
Gina bit her lip. ‘I don’t even know if that’s something I want.’
Olivia stood up from behind her desk and walked around to Gina, clapping her hands on her shoulders. ‘Gina, I’ve always known you were a find. And I knew I couldn’t hang onto you forever. But I always assumed I’d mentor your growth. Whatever department, you’re a star. You should rise.Here.’
That was an attractive pitch; it had to be said. Gina didn’t know what the hell her life was supposed to be. The idea of Olivia simply deciding for her was rather appealing. But none of this could cancel out what she’d done. ‘It’s not just a question of development,’ Gina said. ‘Things have become a bit too complicated in other ways.’
Olivia nodded. ‘Yes, I know. I realise now that must have taken a toll. I was anidiotto utilise you like that. My only excuse is that I was desperate. I like Harper too much.’
Ouch.
‘I didn’t think I could just get her to like me for me.’ Olivia confessed. ‘But you’re right, that’s got to stop now. I’ve got to do this alone.’
‘Have you… spoken to Harper recently?’ Gina asked carefully.
‘No. I’ve been swamped. I’ve been schmoozing everyone, making sure everyone will be talking about Brenda’s book. But I’ve got to prioritise Harper now. I need her to know that she’s what I want.’
Gina had been swayed for a second there, but this would blow up in all their faces any minute. She couldn’t stay.
‘I can see you’re hesitant,’ Olivia said. ‘Let me prove that I’m going to do better.’
That made Gina nervous. ‘How?’
‘I’ll call her and ask her out on a date.’ Olivia went back to her desk and picked up the phone.
‘Olivia, I- What, now?!’ But it was too late. Olivia was making the call. On speakerphone, no less.
