Page 52 of All the Right Words
What about?
Us. I really don’t want to lead you on if it’s not gonna go anywhere.
Does that mean you’re out?
That’s the thing. I do like you. But you baffle me. I can’t tell if this is going to work or not.
How do you feel right this minute?
Right now, I feel like I can just be honest with you, which is good. Great even. But other times, I feel like you can’t handle it. I never know which version of you I’m going to get at any given time.
Maybe that’s because you make me want to be the best version of myself. But she’s hard to find sometimes.
Harper had to admit, that made her feel something.But Olivia wasn’t done.
Sometimes it’s easier when I don’t have to look you in the eye. I can just type out the truth and throw it into the void (aka WhatsApp). I know that’s not very mature. I’m trying to work on it.
Harper shook her head at her phone. Olivia was the most maddening person she’d ever met in her life. Cold one minute, vulnerable the next. It was enough to make you lose your marbles. And maybe your heart.
Thirty-One
Sometimes it’s easier when I don’t have to look you in the eye. I can just type out what I want to say and throw it into the void (aka WhatsApp). I know that’s not very mature. I’m trying to work on it.
Gina had typed those words in a blur. But it was getting harder and harder to pretend this wasn’t what it was. This was Gina, and it was the truth. It hadn’t been Olivia for a while. Talking to Harper like this was the worst idea, and she couldn’t seem to stop it. It was nourishing something she didn’t know was hungry. And now that it was getting a taste of Harper, it couldn’t be halted. It was awake, and it demanded to be fed.
A message from Harper came through.Then let’s talk now like this. Let me get to know you.
I don’t know where to start.
Just… I don’t know. Tell me something about you that you don’t want me to know.
And she comes out swinging.
You don’t have to.
But Gina did want to.
I’m not happy where I am in life. I thought I could ignore it, but I’m not so sure.
There was this enormous pause. Gina started to panic. And then it came.
I feel exactly the same.
OK, wow. Gina had not seen that coming. Harper seemed like a person who was exactly where they were supposed to be, doing exactly what they were supposed to do.
What’s wrong?Gina asked.
I’m not sure I was supposed to be a book agent. Not because of the books. I love that side. It’s the agent part. I don’t think it’s me. I guess I just fell into it because of my mother.
That was huge. Big life stuff. Gina hoped she could find the right words to acknowledge it.
If you weren’t meant to do it, then god help us all if you find what you ARE meant to do because you’re one of the most skilled book agents I’ve ever known. That said, if you want to do something else, do it. People change jobs all the time. The world’s your oyster.
That’s kind.
It’s not kind. It’s what I think.
Look, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I know a lot of people would like to be in my position. And I know I’m only here because of who my mother is. But maybe that’s a blessing and a curse because I was so grateful to be handed this that I never decided if I even wanted it.
