Page 40 of The Missus
Alanna jumped up. ‘What? Are you serious?’
Keira showed her the photo.
Alanna looked at it in surprise. ‘Oh.Oh.’ A small smile slid into her lips. Keira was pleased that Alanna could see exactly what she could. A gorgeous person. Alanna took the phone and had a closer look. ‘Did you use a filter?’
‘Nope. That’s all you. Resting bitch face works for you.’
‘How the hell did you make me look likethat, though?’
‘I didn’t make you look like anything. It’s just you. Accept it. Right, next step. Let’s get an account set up, shall we?’
***
Bing, bing, bing. In they came. Men and women thirstily pouring themselves into the notifications and the DMs. Was Keira surprised? No. Did it make her feel good? No. Did she understand why she’d done this? Not totally.
But it was happening, and Alanna deserved to feel wanted. She’d been stuck with that dick Benjamin for so long, she could do with some fun. Just, you know, not with Keira. That would be bad. Very bad indeed.
Seventeen
Alanna wasn’t at all sure about this.
She didn’t even really know if she’d truly made this decision to dip into app dating or if it had been made for her. Keira had held her hand (metaphorically speaking, more was the pity) through every stage. She’d gotten that very complimentary snap, made her account, even written her an amusing bio that represented her perfectly:I’m a bad girl—as in bad at dating apps. Help me out by messaging me,and helped her with the swiping.And lo, they had come. Matches.
It had been tempting to engage, get to know some people, chat a bit, but Keira had warned her not to do that. ‘No endless chatting. Get a date set up straight off. First, you’ll weed out the catfish.Usually. Second, messaging is a rabbit hole, and it goes nowhere. Arrange an eyeball as quickly as you can. Better to get to know them over an hour and a drink rather than getting the same information messaging them for a fortnight. Life’s too short.’
Alanna saw the sense in that. She’d had experiences like that in the past with online dating. Time wasters who she later realised never actually had any intention of meeting, who just wanted to mess around for whatever reason. Alanna trusted Keira to know her shit when it came to app dating. Although she wasn’t sure they were on the same page in terms of goals. Alanna didn’t know if she wanted to have a one-night stand, nor did she know if she was ready to meet anyone. But Keira had been quick to seize on Alanna’s impulse to let go a little. Alanna had no choice but to follow through.
Though this was not her first time dating via app, she’d never had that much luck with it before. She’d ended up meeting Benjamin at the barbecue of a work friend. They’d hit it off over corn on the cob. He’d seemed fun and nice. It had taken a long time to find out he was neither of those things. So Alanna wasn’t sure about this lightning approach to dating. Her instincts about humans, which were proven strong in session after session, seemed to fail her when there was something personal on the line.
And even when shecouldsee the problem, it didn’t stop her stupid brain from having stupid thoughts. About a certain flatmate with deep dimples, for example. Alanna knew what it was now that she’d figured it out. She was horny. She hadn’t had sex in a while, and she hadn’t hadgoodsex in years. Her libido was awaking from slumber. And Keira had dropped that comment about being dynamite in bed. It wasn’t rocket science, was it? Just good old-fashioned hormones.
She’d made it so much worse with all that stuff she’d said about how Alanna looked. Alanna thought she might be the first person in history to blush to death. Later, it was easy to see that it meant nothing to Keira to throw these compliments at Alanna. Because there was no ulterior motive. Keira threw hotter women than Alanna in the bin several times a week. This morning, even. Alanna hadn’t seen her but just knew some hard-bodied type had probably strutted out at an ungodly hour, leaving Keira weakened from a night of no-strings passion. Alanna envied that mysterious woman mightily. That’s why she was doing this, she supposed. To scratch that itch herself, so she didn’t do anything stupid.
She used the Keira technique, telling a couple of prospects that she was going out of town, but she was around if they wanted to meet tonight? Two out of three accepted the offer.
‘Oh, shit, who am I supposed to choose?’ Alanna asked, panicked.
‘Don’t. Meet both of them,’ Keira said easily.
‘Good idea, I’ll just clone myself this afternoon.’
‘Look, you just meet one at seven and then another at nine at a different bar.’
Alanna frowned. ‘That seems rude.’
‘It’s not if you let people know what you’re doing. Just be plain with them. It’s dating. They’re probably doing the same thing.’
‘It can’t be as cutthroat as allthat, can it?’ Alanna said, shocked.
Keira raised a sage eyebrow. ‘Human beings are a mixed bag at the best of times. App dating can bring out the worst in them.’
Alanna decided not to focus on that cynical take too long. ‘I’m just gonna pickone, I think.’
‘Your choice.’
***
‘Oh, shit!’ cried a voice. ‘It’s you!’
