Page 84 of The Missus
Alanna headed back out into the now cleared out hall and took the stairs down to the parking garage. She looked over into the area that Keira favoured and found her Kia. Sure enough, Keira’s dark blonde head was visible in the front seat.
Alanna walked over and threw the passenger side door open. Keira shrieked and dropped her phone. ‘Hi,’ Alanna said.
Keira smiled nervously. ‘S’up,’ she said, trying to regain the cool she’d just lost.
Alanna slid into the car. ‘So. What’s allthisabout then?’
Keira gave a disaffected shrug. ‘What?’
‘You’re sitting in your car. You only do that when you’re trying to avoid someone.’
Keira frowned. ‘I guess.’
Alanna gave her a second, but it became clear she wasn’t going to explain without a little pressure. ‘Who are you avoiding?’
‘Umm, Kelly?’
Alanna shook her head. ‘You’re such a crap liar. I don’t know how the hell we ever thought we’d pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. I really don’t know anyone who lies as poorly as you do.’
Keira smiled sadly and looked up at the roof of the car. ‘Lack of experience, I guess. I’ve never liked it. It just tastes bad in your mouth. Even back in the day. Prospective parents would be asking me stuff and I knew I was supposed to bullshit them and pretend to be perfect. I just couldn’t do it. They’d ask me if I liked school and I be like, “I fucking hate the place.”’
Alanna took a moment to digest that. ‘You once told me you were never adopted.’
‘That’s right. Last kid standing, a lifer. Well, until I was shunted off at eighteen.’
‘Sounds hard.’
Keira’s eyes narrowed. ‘We’re not getting into it. I was just saying.’
‘I wasn’t trying to… I came down here to ask why you’ve been spending your nights in a coffee shop.’
Keira groaned. ‘It’s not that big of a deal.’
‘Then you’ll have no trouble explaining it, will you?’ Alanna said firmly.
‘I just needed some space.’
‘You hate coffee shops.’
‘I hate your mother more.’
‘She’s barely been around, don’t blame her. If you were trying to avoid anyone—then andnow—it’s me.’
Keira was silent.
‘I thought you were on dates,’ Alanna said. ‘You let me think that. Why?’
Keira still didn’t answer. In the silence, Alanna had time to think about that. ‘When was the last time you were on a date, actually?’ More silence that Alanna didn’t need help to fill. ‘You always used to tell me. Even if you didn’t need to. But you stopped a while back. So, either there’s a reason you don’t mention them, or you’re just… not dating anymore. What the hell’s going on, Keira? Just fucking talk to me, would you?’
‘Why?’ Keira asked sharply, turning to look Alanna right in the eye. ‘Why the hell does it matter? Why can’t you just leave it alone? Why can you never leaveanythingalone?’
Alanna felt annoyed. Angry. Maybe even furious. And in that fury, something broke in her. She couldn’t keep up this lie about how she felt. She was sick of doing things this way. She’d been this way forever, always too terrified to tell people who she was and how she felt and what she wanted. Terrified to take up any space in her own world. It couldn’t go on like this. She had to be able to live.
She needed one last true moment with Keira, even if it would be humiliating. She was past caring about that. She needed to let it out.
‘Would youreallylike to know why I can’t seem to leave things alone? Why I always want to know everything? Always got my sticky beak in your business?’ Keira looked frightened then, as though she suddenly knew what was coming. But Alanna didn’t care. ‘It’s because I want to know you. Every last part. Because I’m inlovewith you. So deal with that!’ she practically screamed.
Keira stared at her, and Alanna couldn’t tell how she felt about that. Her face was an impenetrable mask of blankness.
