Page 73 of The Missus
‘You don’t have to tell me,’ Alanna said.
‘I just said, I don’t remember.’
‘OK. Well, I’m awake if you want to talk.’
They sat side by side, in awkward silence. Keira didn’t know what to say. She was still freaked out. That dream. She didn’t understand it, and yet she did. Some of it, anyway.
She suddenly knew what the answer was.
‘Alanna?’
‘Yes?’
Keira forced herself to ask the question as casually as she could, as though she was asking if Alanna fancied a coffee. ‘Just wondering… You wanna have sex?’
Keira didn’t think she had ever seen someone look as surprised as Alanna did right then.
‘I’m just kind of… I was feeling kind of… I thought we could relieve some stress,’ Keira explained. But she was lying. What she wanted to do, what sheneededto do, was force this situation to be simple. If she could get the physical desire out of her system, the rest might follow. This had to be the answer. It had always been the answer.
Only Alanna didn’t look very pleased with the offer. In fact, she looked angry. Correction, she was fuckingoutraged. ‘What the hell is the matter with you, Keira?’ Alanna demanded.
Oh dear. This had been an error.
Twenty-Nine
Alanna couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this angry. And she’d been living with her mother for two days.
‘Howdareyou?’ she demanded of Keira.
‘I was just, just, I was only… I was—’ Keira sputtered.
‘I thought we were friends!’ Alanna said, jumping out of bed.
Keira, clutching her duvet, looked small and scared. ‘Weare.’
‘Then why would you ever say something like that?!’
‘Well… well…’ Keira stuttered.
Alanna put her hands on her hips. ‘Explain yourself!’ she cried. She didn’t care how many times her own thoughts had strayed to being physically intimate with Keira, but she didn’teverwant it like this. Keira wanted to use her. Alanna wouldn’t have it. Because she had decided to be content with a friendship with Keira. And Keira didn’t even care enough about that.
‘I didn’t mean anything by it!’ Keira managed to eventually say. ‘What the hell are you getting so upset for?’
Alanna’s jaw tightened. ‘In case you didn’t know. I mean in case this is something that doesn’t exist as a concept in your world, you don’t… I mean, you shouldn’t use a friend for sex.’
Keira frowned. ‘But when you think about it, why not?’
‘Why not?’ Alanna repeated, getting ready to rip into Keira. Only, she couldn’t explain why not, exactly. Because she had a point. Youcoulddo that. People had casual sex all the time and the world didn’t end. But Alanna wasn’t angry about what she was claiming to feel angry about. What was enraging Alanna was that she wanted more from Keira. And what Keira had just offered her was something she didn’t care about—sex. It made Alanna feel like every girl that entered this flat in the hopes of getting close to Keira and finding… nothing. A total lack of interest and care. If that was what Keira would take from Alanna, it showed how little she thought of her.
But of course, she couldn’t say all that to Keira. ‘Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.’ She left the bedroom without looking at Keira.
Her mother was already up and about, her hair in rollers. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ she asked Alanna.
‘Don’t ask,’ Alanna said. She went to the bathroom and got straight into the shower, where she stayed for about half an hour. When she got out, the flat was empty, which was a relief. It was too complicated with everyone she lived with.
She headed out, hoping to leave all the complications behind. But out in the hall, wouldn’t you know, she ran slap bang into Kelly. ‘Oh, brilliant, I was gonna shove this through your slot, so to speak,’ she said, handing a small card to Alanna.
Alanna looked at it. It was a party invite. ‘Just a little getting-to-know-you type of thing. Since I’m living here now,’ Kelly explained.
