Page 6 of The Missus
‘Of course. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than stand around here talking about my ridiculous love life.’
Alanna did not have better things, but she wasn’t about to admit that. ‘OK, well, see you in the hall,’ she said cheerily and let herself out.
She stepped over to her front door and went into the flat. She found Benjamin chopping vegetables in the kitchen. ‘You’re back! I was just doing my chilli. I thought it might be… It’s my way of apologising.’
Alanna smiled. He was trying. Maybe she’d been too hasty. Maybe it would all be fine. Those thoughts she’d had about not loving him were probably just out of anger. And after all, what was the alternative? Go back to dating? Wade through a procession of bad choices before she found someone who was probably no better than Benjamin when you boiled it down.
Benjamin gave her back the beer she’d begun earlier—now tepid—and she drank it as she watched him cook, deciding that this was the best choice.
Once the food was ready, Alanna sat down and ate the chilli. It was a little too spicy but edible enough.
Four
Keira was enjoying the rush of a near miss. She’d thought Pollyanna was going to become a serious problem. She’d probably never come back now. As far as she knew, Keira was a cheating shitsack who lived with her partner. There was no reason to ever knock on this door again. Even if she was the kind of girl who would be happy to be the side-chick, she couldn’t come back for fear of running into the missus again. It was fantastic.
Who’d have thought Alanna would come to her rescue like that? Keira would never have asked her to, but she was thrilled Alanna had taken such initiative. It was a genius solution. She needed to send her a bouquet or something.
It was kind of sad it had come to that, though. That she couldn’t just say, ‘Here’s what it is,’ to Pollyanna and have that be the end of the conversation. She was determined to keep her foot in the door of Keira’s life, as well as her actual door. Keira had felt quite powerless and slightly nervous about where it was going to lead. Since Pollyanna wasn’t going to get what she wanted, would she step up her demands, get physical? Luckily, Keira would never know.
She wondered if she should simply stop having sex. Cosy up to her Rampant Rabbit and cut out the problem. Maybe? In fact, yes, decision made. No more sex.
She deleted every dating app on her phone that minute. She was turning over a new leaf, leaving the troubles that sex brought behind her.
***
Keira’s vow of celibacy lasted roughly six weeks. Six weeks of some pretty serious masturbating. The trouble was that it only scratched the physical itch. Sex wasn’t just an orgasm to Keira. There was something about being with another person that gave her a particular fix of serotonin that seemed to get her through life. Without that fix, life was a humdrum routine that bored her silly. Work, sleep, eat, TV, going to the toilet. That’s all existence felt like now.
She decided to download one app onto her phone. Just one. Just to see.
Soon enough, she was swiping. It was a comfortingly familiar action that brought satisfaction immediately. She didn’t even swipe right on anyone at first. Just left, left, left. She thought that might be enough to soothe the need.
But then, up popped Serenity. She had a certain something that intrigued Keira greatly. If she had been totally honest with herself, she’d have admitted that certain something was large breasts. She liked the kind you could bury your face in—she always had. Serenity’s DDs called to her, so Keira swiped right.
The moment she swiped, she felt guilty. This was the start of breaking her promise to herself, and she knew she wouldn’t stop there, not if they matched. Which they did. Keira told herself she didn’t have to do anything about that. She could just delete the app right now. But then her DMs were slid into.
Hey, sexy. I like your smile. Wanna meet up for a drink?
As well as big boobs, Keira also happened to enjoy confidence in a woman. Serenity was ticking yet another box. Keira checked Serenity’s profile.Looking for some fun.Check. Keira’s thumb paused over the reply button as she continued to debate whether she should get back in the saddle. She was still pretty gun-shy after the Pollyanna incident.
But apparently not completely traumatised, because she began to tap out a message, almost in a trance.
Are you free tonight?
***
Serenity walked into the bar, her chest several steps ahead of her, and Keira knew the second they locked eyes that it was going to happen tonight. God, that feeling. It was such a rush. Keira understood right then that she couldn’t live without it.
***
Serenity moaned and slumped down onto the mattress, the fourth orgasm the charm. Keira drank in the sight of her: those naked breasts just as good out of the packaging. She was a good-looking woman. Shame she was a bit boring. But that wasn’t an obstacle when neither of you was interested in talking. Serenity was on the same page as Keira this time, and she knew it. They’d had one drink and come right back to Keira’s and set straight to work—wham bam. You didn’t do that when you were looking for love.
Keira was just about to start gently hinting that she needed to be up early in the morning, so maybe Serenity could be getting on home? Only Serenity was already snoring. Keira sighed and lay down next to her, shutting her eyes. She hated sharing a bed, but she wasn’t going to wake Serenity up and chuck her out—that was rude. Sometimes this was a price you simply had to pay. But Serenity wasn’t getting breakfast, that was for sure.
***
Keira opened her eyes and felt immediately like something was wrong. She rolled over sleepily and nearly fell out of bed when she saw Serenity, crossed-legged on the end of the bed, fully dressed, staring at her. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye before I left.’
Keira caught her breath. ‘Oh, OK, sorry. OK, then. You’re going now?’
