Page 25 of The Missus
Keira sighed. ‘Fine. But it needs to be a nominal amount. Like a joke amount. Clown rent.’
‘Clown rent is about all I can afford,’ Alanna told her.
Keira put out her hand. Alanna shook it with a light smile. The smile dropped. ‘By the way, saying you can’t live without someone after two days would be a real worry.’
Keira rolled her eyes. ‘I was flying by the seat of my pants. Is that not a thing people say?’
‘It was red flags all the way,’ Alanna laughed.
‘I don’t know what monos say, do I?’
‘Monos? That’s what you call monogamous people? Jesus, I need to read one of your books. What the hell do your monogamous characters say to each other?’
‘I’ve got a rough idea of what goes on,’ Keira told her dryly. ‘From TV and stuff.’
A sly smile slid onto Alanna’s face. ‘Been meaning to ask…. do you go by a pen name? I’ve googled you and nothing.’
Keira was surprised by that. But not surprised enough to give up the goods. ‘Not happening,’ she grinned.
‘Worth a try.’ Alanna gave Keira a moderately serious look. ‘But if we’re gonna really do this, we need to be upfront. So if there’s anything we need to talk about…’
Keira thought about it. ‘Actually, there’s one thing. If you ever get the urge to try and diagnose me, I’d like you to resist it.’
‘Diagnoseyou?’ Alanna repeated, slightly shocked. ‘Do you have something that needs to be diagnosed?’
‘No, and that’s what I’m saying. Don’t ever shrink me. Don’t try and solve the riddle of Keira Evans, OK?’ Keira told her evenly. She had to be clear on this. She was content as she was, and she didn’t want anyone to try and change anything about her because it didn’t fit in with their idea of what life was supposed to look like.
‘Alright, then. I won’t do anything like that,’ Alanna vowed.
Keira hoped she meant that because she was taking a big chance on this working out. She didn’t want to end up second-guessing her choices just because Alanna was around. She was happy as she was, and she didn’t want to change—she was set.
Thirteen
Alanna was awoken by a beep. She sleepily checked her phone.‘BB’it read, simply.Alanna knew by now that stood for Bunny Boiler. She jumped out of bed and went to her wardrobe quietly. She got dressed, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and ran a brush through her hair. She slipped on some shoes and grabbed a small suitcase from the corner. In under a minute, she was ready.
Alanna listened at the door. All clear. Go time. She slipped out of the room like a ninja and went to Keira’s door, throwing it open. A robed Keira was being held by the waist by an underwear-clad girl in a way Alanna considered not altogether consensual. ‘You bitch!’ Alanna yelled at no one in particular. Keira slipped out of the ‘embrace’ and turned towards her. ‘Baby, I can explain!’
‘I can’t believe this. I go tooneUFO convention and I find you with another woman. After you said you wanted a baby?’ Alanna cried. She turned her attention to the rando in the room. ‘As for you!’
The girl put her hands in the air. ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t even…’
‘Out!’ Alanna said.
The girl grabbed her clothes from the floor and fled without getting into them. They heard the front door slam.
Keira looked at her. ‘UFO convention?’
‘It’s a thing.’
‘I guess. But the kid thing as well?’ Keira said. ‘Where the hell did that come from?’
‘It just came to me in the moment. Allow me the freedom to vamp. Coffee?’ Alanna went to the kitchen, Keira followed.
‘Might have been abitmuch,’ Keira told her.
Alanna tutted mildly as she started the machine up. ‘A bit much?’
‘It was just a touch… am-dram.’
