Page 1 of The Missus
One
Alanna Hall wasn’texactlytrying to listen to the conversation going on out in the hallway. But her front door was in the living room and that’s where Alanna was, so it was happening whether she liked it or not.
She knew what it would be about anyway, what it was always about. It wasn’t the first time she’d heard this conversation in front of her apartment—or a version, anyhow. Even though one of the main characters would always change, the one that stayed the same was the problem: her neighbour across the hall—Keira. It had become very clear to Alanna that Keira liked to bang strangers of the female persuasion on a pretty regular basis.
Alannawasn’tlistening, but she had ears and she could hear Keira saying, ‘I put it on my profile. Casual.’
‘But I thought… I thought we had a connection,’ said whoever the hell this one was.
‘We had a lot of fun,’ Keira corrected kindly.
‘So what’s wrong, Keira?’
‘Nothing’s wrong, er…’
‘It’s Pollyanna!’ the woman cried.
‘Pollyanna?’ Alanna whispered to herself, trying not to laugh. ‘She managed to forgetthat?’ She was locked on now, no pretence that she wasn’t having a good old listen.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Benjamin as he walked into the living room wearing a towel, fresh from the shower.
Alanna turned to him. ‘Shh!’
But the voices on the other side of the door had stopped talking. They knew they were being listened to.
‘Did you hear that?’ asked Pollyanna.
‘I don’t know. Anyway, look, it was a lovely evening, but I need to get to work…’ Keira hinted.
‘But I just… Can’t we meet again? Just a coffee?’ Pollyanna whined. Alanna was embarrassed on her behalf.
‘Stop listening,’ Benjamin told her quietly.
‘I’mnot,’ Alanna said, pushing him gently into the bedroom. She wouldn’t be able to hear now anyway. Benjamin wouldn’t let her. Spoilsport as ever.
‘You’re so nosy,’ Benjamin admonished her, getting his trousers on.
She sighed. ‘I wasn’t trying to listen, but if she keeps breaking it off with one-night stands right in front of my door, I don’t know how a normal person could be expected to completely ignore that,’ Alanna told him.
‘Idon’t listen to it,’ he said, buttoning his shirt.
‘Good for you,’ Alanna told him. ‘Must be wonderful to be perfect.’
‘I’m not perfect, I’m just an adult that respects the privacy of others,’ Benjamin said self-righteously, now fully dressed.
Alanna wasn’t really up for an argument, but she couldn’t fully ignore what had been said. ‘So I’mnotan adult?’
Benjamin rolled his eyes. ‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You implied it.’
‘I need to get to work. I can’t be playing games with you right now.’
Alanna shook her head at him as he walked out of the room. ‘You’re just gonna say that to me and then walk out?’ she said to his back.
He paused for a second, and Alanna thought he would turn back, maybe apologise, but he kept walking. Alanna hated her boyfriend at that moment.
After the door slammed shut and Alanna knew Benjamin was gone, she sat quietly down on the bed. She picked up her pillow, pressed it to her face and screamed, ‘Fuck you!’ into it. Then she put it down, took a deep breath, and went to the mirror. Her makeup was smudged, so she wiped it away and reapplied. Once she felt like she looked like a normal person again, someone whose relationship was not on the verge of implosion, she left the flat.
